Lost Time

[KTC]

So, don't write. Get your life back.

[LindaJeanne]

I think what some people responding are missing is that (in geek circles at least) being up on the latest (geek related) pop culture IS about social connection. It's about being "in" on the in jokes, being part of the conversation.

That said, my experience is that while it feels crucially important while you're caught up in the middle of it, it really looks far less important when you let yourself view it from the outside. You don't need to be completely in the dark just because you're not part of all the latest trends. I've never played "Portal", but I know why The Cake is a Lie!

The others have all given good advice. It's about priorities, and what matters to you. It's about our time being finite -- none of us can do or be everything we want to do or be -- and we need to choose. So when you discover that more of one thing you want means less of something else that you want, only you can decide what balance between the two (or all one, or all the other) is right for you.

[Susan Littlefield]

I didn't see this thread until just now, but what a great conversation. Some of these answers floored me with their wisdom.

You create opportunities for yourself, including the life you want to live. If anything does not make you feel good while doing it, perhaps it's not for you. If it is for you, you make choices as to what is more important. If you want to write, sit down and write. If you don't, find something else to do.

[DancingMaenid]

Like others have said, it's a matter of prioritizing.

I think you also need to think about why you write. Do you enjoy it? Is it a hobby? Or is publication or having a writing career important to you?

Writing is a hobby for me. But it's something I really love, and it's one of my favorite things to do in my spare time. However, I don't feel too bad about choosing to spend time doing something else. I try to write consistently to keep myself sharp and because I want to get things done. But I'm fine with taking time to keep up with my favorite shows, as well. That said, I'm also a pretty introverted person, and solitary pursuits like writing are relaxing.

Regardless of whether writing is a hobby or a job for you, it comes down to balance. Even though writing is a hobby for me, I still need to make choices about how I spend my time on a given day.

What is it about writing that makes it feel like a waste to you? The time spent alone?

[Rhoda Nightingale]

I thought this thread was going to be about something very different--like not having enough time to write or something.

I'm honestly stumped as to why this is a problem for you. I'm up to my eyeballs in fandom--have been since high school--and never found it got in the way of writing. I bring my notebook to movie premieres, so I have something to scribble on while those stupid trivia questions are playing. I don't have my own game console because I'm too dyslexic to handle anything with more buttons than a Super Nintendo from 1980-whatever, but I've been to plenty of game nights--still manage to write when I go home. I watched LOST every single Tuesday with my Dad, and liveblogged with a friend during the finale when I couldn't go be with Dad. Opened another window and got my words in during the commercials.

I manage to spend time with people who aren't into that stuff as well--coffee shop meetups, fiction readings, store openings, whatever. Again, I bring my notebook, in case there's a traffic jam on the way there; or during the actual meetup itself, when the other person goes to the bathroom and I get bored waiting for them to come back.

None of these things excludes the others. Like previous posters have said, it's all about priorities.

[heza]

Originally Posted by Jamesaritchie

I'm not big on "happy' versus" meaningful;", either. Each is an individual tings, and if you spend a second doing something because someone else thinks it's meaningful, you've blown it.

...a wasted life is one spent trying to be meaningful when you could have been happy.

Yup. I'll let all of history's great philanthropists and every scientist, doctor, philosopher, and humanitarian who ever did hard work to make this world a better place know that their lives were a complete and utter waste just because they happened to be meaningful and gave them personal satisfaction.

[heza]

Originally Posted by Jamesaritchie

Nonsense. I'd be willing to bet that all those types you mention LOVED every minute of what they were doing, or they wouldn't have been doing it. Even you say ""personal satisfaction".

I think you're arguing without having bothered to read the article. You're making up your own definitions for the words Happy and Meaningful and arguing based on those rather than the definitions the article used. That makes arguing with it pretty pointless.

I don't know how a task can be meaningful to someone without also giving him a sense of satisfaction. One leads to the other. If it wasn't satisfying in any way, then it wouldn't have been meaningful for that person. And if someone is doing something because they find it meaningful, that's a good reason to do it. I define a "meaningful" thing as a thing that gives your life meaning, from your own perspective, and that meaning, in turn gives you a personal sense of satisfaction. I don't understand how you're defining it.

A good life is a life where you spend your time doing whatever it is you most love doing, not one where you set priorities just so you can do "meaningful" things that you aren't enjoying.

Why would anyone prioritize so they could do useless tasks that don't benefit the quality of their own lives in some way? (And why would you think that was the main point of my post?) That's not what I implied at all. That's not what the article implies. Living a meaningful life might be raising your children, it might be writing your books, it might be doing cancer research, it might be running a soup kitchen, it might be lending an ear to a friend who's having a rough time... it's definitely NOT going out and digging a ditch no one is going to use, "just because it's meaningful."

There's nothing wrong with doing meaningful things, if you enjoy doing them. But there's nothing wrong with sitting around reading books, talking to friends, and watching TV, either. Do what you love, or you will lead a wasted life.

I would amend your statement to "There's nothing wrong with doing meaningful things if they give you a sense of satisfaction." Not everything meaningful will be purely enjoyable, but for some people, even hard work is satisfying if it has meaning for them. Spending time with friends can also be meaningful. Being the kind of friend who is only in the relationship to be entertained, on the other hand, maybe not so much. That's the difference I was indicating between "happy" (i.e., entertaining for the moment) and "meaningful" (i.e., satisfying in a bigger way).

The OP should do something that provides personal satisfaction and meaning to them, whatever that is. That's all I was saying.

[butterfly]

I know that if I really apply myself, I can be a prolific writer. Do you really know this or do you hope this is what would happen? At the moment I work in fits and starts, and whenever I try to make myself go above and beyond I find myself pulling back. I've thought about it a bit and I'm now 100% sure that it's because of this unpleasant feeling of anticipation I have... like if I get serious, I'll lose something. Time. Opportunities to enjoy myself in other ways. Something like that. I completely get this. But it isn't that you'll lose time, it's that you don't know if what you write will affect anyone emotionally, putting you at a different level, and your fear is that if it does not, your time will be wasted.

I want to be up to date with current gen console games. I want to watch lots of awesome TV series through to their finales. I want to to sit through all sorts of cool and/or hilarious videos on youtube, and I want to have fun getting to endgame with newly made friends on MMOs. I want to just be around my friends and enjoy it, even if we're not doing anything productive. To make memories. Nothing wrong with this - it is the exuberance of youth, of naivetee, the simple joy of stepping into the world and sharing yourself with your peers, getting to know who you are.

As time passes, these opportunities go away... or get staler. Games become old, friends change, new trends appear. They don't really, what changes is you. You grow. You learn and move on. You mature without your consent. I want to enjoy them all before they vanish or lose their glamour. It's true that there will always be more stuff in the future, but... it'll be different. Yes, it will and many times you will yearn for the days of youth but those will now be your memories, those will bring smiles and tears. And if I'm enjoying things as they come, I can have the old and the new. Then I can remember the old as fond memories. If I'm writing, these things go by, and when I go back to try to watch/play/do things I skipped in the past the experience is sullied (like NES games or movies from the early 2000s -- they're nowhere near as awesome as they would have been!!!). Maybe you're missing what you should be writing about - maybe you should be writing about your life, chronicling your moments to share with those who matter.

I missed the Harry Potter period, too. I read the books after it was all over and I never got swept up in the whole phonemonon like everyone else did. The magic of waiting alongside the rest of the world was gone, trying to figure it out alongside everyone else... it was over. They were just books. I hate that feeling. But did you enjoy the stories? I first watched "Cinderella" on b/w tv when I was a small child. It was a movie musical with real actors. I fell in love with the premise and 50 years later it is still my favorite move. You see, Prince Charming doesn't have to come in the shape of a man, he comes in the shape of what rescues you. That is your destiny.

At the same time, I know I won't achieve anything worthwhile if I carry on as I am. I don't want to be unremarkable. I can be like the people I admire. Yes you will. You are still questioning yourself and your role as a human being. The simple fact that you are is admirable. You never know whose role model you are because even those who don't speak to you watch you. ~ All the world is a stage.

So how do I stop feeling like every day I spend at the keyboard is such a big loss? Tell yourself you're making a memory. One day if you're lucky you'll be old and forget 80% of what you now remember so wouldn't it be wonderful to have it written down so you could remember who you were so many years ago? Like life -- and the constant stream of timely memories -- is passing me and my computer screen (lol) by, and when I finally take a break I'll just be looking at other people's pictures or watching entertainment that isn't as great as it would have been at the time? Or so you think ...

Errr, and just to lighten up the post... this is how I feel whenever I finish a novel: But you've finished novels!