The "I'm sorry" thread

Nymtoc

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...don't try to tell me you don't enjoy it.

I'm sorry you have no sense of smell, but...
 

Robbert

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...as long as I can SEE who is male or female, I shall not complain.

I'm sorry you found your precious garden gnomes smashed to pieces, but...
 
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Nymtoc

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...my unicorn was very naughty last night.

I'm sorry I can't allow you in my house anymore, but...
 

flyingtart

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you didn't like the smell anyway.


I'm sorry no one laughs at your jokes but...
 

Nymtoc

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...they suck.

I'm sorry you rented the ballroom at the Ritz for your birthday party, hired the Rolling Stones and ordered a banquet including paté de fois gras and filet mignon, and nobody came, but...
 

Robbert

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...sod the expense, at least the after dinner party was a good laugh.

I'm sorry your divorce lawyer sold your story to the tabloids, but...
 

CDSinex

Imagine something clever here.
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that front page photo they ran of you is really flattering.

I'm sorry you got the flu again, but
 

Robbert

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...as long as it comes without a swine, I shan't be worried.

I'm sorry your weekend trip to Bogotá ended with being escorted by a DEA agent, but...
 

b_radom

Calculating the odds
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I'm sorry your weekend trip to Bogata ended with being escorted by a DEA agent, but you're better off not moving drugs

I'm sorry you didn't discover America, but...
 

flyingtart

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you can still go there anyway.


I'm sorry I walked dog poo into your new carpet but...
 

Nymtoc

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...considering the hideous brown-and-puce pattern on the damned thing, no one will notice.

I'm sorry you signed that contract with the man in red with little horns on his head, but...
 

Robbert

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...that's what the devilish marketing campaign was all about. I'm glad you noticed.

I'm sorry your local library has been turned into a gambling venue, but...
 

K.L. Bennett

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...who reads books these days, anyway?

I'm sorry your boss fired you because he wanted someone prettier as his assistant, but...
 

Komnena

In Honor of Peter Tomich,USS Utah
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that's what magicians do.
I'm sorry I sold you that beach property in Arizona but
 

Nymtoc

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...I didn't lie, because my lawyer says the gravel beside that creek qualifies as a beach.

I'm sorry your doctor says you can't eat anything but marshmallows, but...
 

Robbert

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...I gave him the boot. I now have a doctor who prescribes them for me.

I'm sorry you went on an exotic holiday and had two weeks of solid rain, but...
 

Robbert

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...no one was supposed to. It was there for decoration purposes.

I'm sorry you've never tried being a vegan, but...
 

flyingtart

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you're probably weird enough already.


I'm sorry my choice of music makes your eyes water but...
 

Nymtoc

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...is it my fault that you get sentimental listening to Lawrence Welk?

I'm sorry that your new invention--the car that can not only run normally but also fly and travel through water--failed on all counts and plunged you to the bottom of the Atlantic Ocean, but...
 

Robbert

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...Accidental Deep Sea Adventure will be out on DVD any time soon.

I'm sorry you went on the defensive in SYW after someone had written 'potholes big enough to drive a car through', but...
 

Nymtoc

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...it's time you recognized that you have no talent.

I'm sorry your ice sculpture of 1,000 men on horseback melted, but...
 

flyingtart

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you can catch up at the office.


I'm sorry your appendage has turned blue but...
 

Robbert

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...?!? Can you please tell me in plain English what's wrong with me!?

I'm sorry to hear you are no longer allowed to sell second-hand knickers on ebay, but...