Apparently, it's up to women to fix everything. (Domestic Violence)

mccardey said:

says a man.

Let me know if this link doesn't work, because I can swap it for another as the story gains currency. And I think it will.

ETA: (Rosie Batty's young son Luke, you should know, was killed by his father - who was suffering mental illness - last February.“No one loved Luke more than his father. No one loved Luke more than me — we both loved him.” she said at the time. It was a terrible tragedy. )

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I feel like I'm missing something. The latter story doesn't say anyplace I saw, or suggest, that there had been unreported, ongoing abuse. It reads as if the attack was an unprecedented violent act toward the kid.

As to the quote, I have a hard time disagreeing.

The way that abusers harm and warp the brains of their victims is well documented and...frankly, kind of scary.

I'm going to lay my blame on the sick fuckers who abuse people, if you ask me.

mccardey said:

Do you? I think men who abuse children and women are responsible for the abuse. I think until society can guarantee a safe place of refuge for the wman and her children the woman is placed in a truly untenable position. If you'd followed the link, you'd have heard that a woman who makes a police report about the man who is threatening to harm her and her children has had -until recently - at least a week to wait while that report is even sent down to the station. It is during that period that many of the worst attacks occur.

I think blaming the abused woman for not being able to leave is probably shirking the actual issue.

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Obviously men or women who abuse kids are responsible for the abuse.

I didn't read the entirety of the first link - it said reporting. Here, there are people who are mandated reporters: teachers, doctors, etc.

Someone like a neighbour who suspects abuse can report as well, by calling the local version of child protective services. All those reports are investigated and the reporter is anonymous to the reported.

That's not the same as filing for a restraining order or asking for charges to be filed, which can end up with the actor being alerted - and there's no one else to blame but the person who went to the authorities.

Hence, I don't see an excuse to not report child abuse you know to be happening.

I know from Walker's theories and research and I don't discount her work , but in a general sense, I just don't accept it as an overarching excuse.

He ended up looking quite misguided with what he said.

Didn't see it this morning, but it was covered on the evening news. He did try to clarify/backtrack, but he had already said his piece by then.

I also think victim blaming in such a situation is never tolerable. She was breaking up with her abusive partner, he killed her son in retaliation. Seems her worries regarding what may have happened if she reported him weren't unfounded.

I think there is a big difference in knowing about abuse and failing to do or say anything about it, and being in the situation of being part of that abuseive relationship and being trapped in it.

The difference might not seem like a lot to outsiders, but it's important - as other have said, abusers can be so manipulative that they can actually convince you that you are the one in the wrong. So I have a lot of sympathy for someone who is trapped in that situation and scared.

But someone outside of the relationship who isn't part of that relationship and isn't under the control of an abuser really has no excuse.