Over-choreographin' character actions

I'm not joking or trying to be cruel, but...

This sounds like something right out of the Clinical Psychology catalog of mental diseases.

Editing? If you NEED to write it down, write it down. Then go back over it and cut it out, later.

There are reasons to include certain character actions, but I can't think of a reason to include ALL character actions, other than trying to turn a two-page scene into a novella... a boring novella.

Shirokirie said:

Okay so I have this problem where every little minute thing a character does I like to jot it down... Problem is it gets real redundant, and I don't have a common idiom/gesture/whatever the hell it's called thesaurus.

So, anyone know how to address (hopefully get over) an issue like this?

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Write it down if you want; go back and cut out what's unnecessary later. Read it and see if you really needed that sentence to get from the moment before it to the moment after.

Laer Carroll said:

I'm not joking or trying to be cruel, but...

This sounds like something right out of the Clinical Psychology catalog of mental diseases.

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First of all, what?

Second of all, Psychology has a catalog? Can I buy some mania? Or dissociative fugue maybe? I've always wanted to try me some o' that...

buzhidao said:

Second of all, Psychology has a catalog? Can I buy some mania? Or dissociative fugue maybe? I've always wanted to try me some o' that...

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Don't buy the multiple personality package--most writers already have that built in.

Mania is fun, if you can get it pointed in the right direction. If you can herd cats, I highly recommend it.

I'm with the others. Go ahead and get it written, then go back and trim some of the overblocking in edits. You'll eventually be able to judge what you need and when as you're writing, but that will take time and experience.

I totally do this. Guilty. As. Charged.

I blame being a theater geek in high school. Sometimes I overact vicariously through my characters. I WANT YOU TO SEE THEM AS LIVING, BREATHING THINGS, DAMMIT.

Just leave it in and cut it during revisions. If you try to self-edit as you write, you a) will go insane and b) probably won't catch all of the overacting, as it were.

Oldbrasscat said:

If you can herd cats, I highly recommend it.

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It could be a good career!

Write it down, then edit it out later.

Okay so I have this problem where every little minute thing a character does I like to jot it down... Problem is it gets real redundant, and I don't have a common idiom/gesture/whatever the hell it's called thesaurus.

So, anyone know how to address (hopefully get over) an issue like this?

Click to expand...

First of all, don't cry.

Secondly . . . I've commented on this before, God, I don't remember where or when, which kind of sucks but I guess it's irrelevant. You tend to document every single effing thought, sneeze, blink or fart. . .not only the action or thought, but the step-by-step intricacies involved, right?

Every. Single. Little. Thing.

I can relate. Let me tell you this right now: STOP. Right now. Who the hell wants to go back through his/her novel, deleting every ridiculously unnecessary description/action?

Why put it in, if you're gonna take it out? (I speak from experience. Unfortunately.)

You know what helped me? This advice: Give the reader credit. The reader doesn't need you to spell out every single effing thing. The reader has a brain (presumably ). The reader doesn't want--nor need--you, the writer, to explain every action, every nuance. The reader can make an occasional leap from point A to point B, as long as said leap is minor. In other words, if your mc's phone rings, you needn't write, "He walked to the phone, lifted the receiver from its base, pressed it to his ear and spoke into the bottom part of the phone thingie." Give the reader credit, and take pity. . .who wants to read boring details that one can easily surmise, if one has half a brain in one's thick, misshapen skull?

Be a thoughtful, mindful writer, and trust your readers. They deserve a little credit, after all, they're reading your stuff, aren't they?

Sometimes you want to see every little thing, for example, if someone is doing something slowly, methodically - wiring an explosive, setting a trap for someone, arranging objects in a room for a particular purpose, etc. The detail is needed and draws the reader deeper and deeper into the character's purpose, psychosis, personality, whatever.

But in general, when a character is doing ordinary things - details are not needed. Saying 'Kate got ready for bed...' is fine. Unless she does weird things with her toothbrush, uses an outhouse, or takes an icy-cold shower because she's feeling immense guilt for something, well then...

You can omit most of the details.

kkbe said:

First of all, don't cry.

Secondly . . . I've commented on this before, God, I don't remember where or when, which kind of sucks but I guess it's irrelevant. You tend to document every single effing thought, sneeze, blink or fart. . .not only the action or thought, but the step-by-step intricacies involved, right?

Every. Single. Little. Thing.

I can relate. Let me tell you this right now: STOP. Right now. Who the hell wants to go back through his/her novel, deleting every ridiculously unnecessary description/action?

Why put it in, if you're gonna take it out? (I speak from experience. Unfortunately.)

You know what helped me? This advice: Give the reader credit. The reader doesn't need you to spell out every single effing thing. The reader has a brain (presumably ). The reader doesn't want--nor need--you, the writer, to explain every action, every nuance. The reader can make an occasional leap from point A to point B, as long as said leap is minor. In other words, if your mc's phone rings, you needn't write, "He walked to the phone, lifted the receiver from its base, pressed it to his ear and spoke into the bottom part of the phone thingie." Give the reader credit, and take pity. . .who wants to read boring details that one can easily surmise, if one has half a brain in one's thick, misshapen skull?

Be a thoughtful, mindful writer, and trust your readers. They deserve a little credit, after all, they're reading your stuff, aren't they?

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I agree with this. I've always followed Anne McCaffrey's mantra of "Leave the details to the reader." (I will have to find the full quote when I get the chance.)

Too many details leads to lots of adverbs = bad. I also dislike it when an author goes overboard in describing a character's looks. I want to fill it in in my head!

While changing a style cold turkey doesn't work, you can change it slowly. I know because I had to do it when I started writing romance, and had to have a little more "inside-head-analysis" than I was used to. But in the end, it saved me a LOT of time editing.

Ahem, and that's the end of Laura's opinion. For now.

What do you mean by 'every minute thing'?

The thread title mentions choreographing, which suggests to me overdescribing the movement from one place to another.

If nothing happens while travelling from the dungeon to the battlements or from A to B I don't need a description of how he got there.

Also, how something is picked up or from where is not usually relevant
.
Mind you, if you only 'jot it down' there's no problem - just omit it when writing the scene.

Good luck.

We don't ever need to know a person "reached with their left hand" or "lifted their right leg". Saying they reached or stood on their leg is enough. Is that what you were talking about? If so, simply trust that the reader has a good enough imagination to see that character do _x_ in their mind's eye.

Ask yourself if the action advances plot, contributes to character, or illuminates theme. If it doesn't, you probably don't need it. Now, if a character is doing something interesting like picking their nose, tell us. It gives us something about the character. If your particular body movement portrays nervousness or anger or another emotion, feel free to use it. If it's just filler or because you don't want to use a dialogue tag, you shouldn't detail it.

Many years ago before I began writing my own stories, I dabbled quite a bit in fanfiction. I think I was around 15 at the time, anyway I used to do that same exact thing. I would write down every little thing the characters did.

Obviously I had no idea what I was doing and looking back it now makes me cringe. I overcame this by writing a lot and reading many books. Eventually, I got the hang of it.

Like others have said, give the reader some credit. If the actions don't describe the way a character is, or the actions are of little/no importance, take it out. The story will flow much better, trust me.

Don't try to control the exact image the reader gets. The reader is going to imagine the scene they way they're going to imagine it. Instead, think about what the purpose is for the actions -- that'll probably eliminate a lot.

If you need to write it down, then do. Just because you write down every little movement does not mean you will use it all in your story.

I'm not joking or trying to be cruel, but...

This sounds like something right out of the Clinical Psychology catalog of mental diseases.

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It comes across as cruel, and I disagree with your statement. People do things differently, which in no way means they are mentally ill.

I think a lot of writers do this. They feel that the character ought to be doing something instead of just standing around, so they give him a little task. In plays, it's the glass of water/cup of tea/shot of whiskey trick.

Personally, I would just write it and if you feel like there's a point when you're including too many details, try to scale it back a bit.