Scenes from a hat!

EzzyAlpha · Mar 9, 2012

4-Little fat ballerina statues

RedHat · Mar 9, 2012

5. Not to eat the complimentary hotel breakfast... too late!

Business ideas that almost made it.

iLion · Mar 9, 2012

1. Phone app for finding Kaiser's lost keys.

Lavern08 · Mar 9, 2012

2. Combination pencil sharpener/can opener

Kaiser-Kun · Mar 9, 2012

3. Fake teeth with 101 tools - includes can opener, pencil sharpener, AM/FM radio tuner and broadcast, nail cutter and lockpicking set. (Warning: most of the tools require use of the jaw muscles)

archerjoe · Mar 9, 2012

4. Energy saving, pedal-powered bidet

Robbert · Mar 9, 2012

5. fully automatic tampon exchanger

Robbert · Mar 10, 2012

Scene: You are the CEO of a mattress & pillow company. You have been invited to give a speech in an old people's home. Opening lines you want to avoid...

EzzyAlpha · Mar 10, 2012

1- Oh god, I think that one is dead.

parumpdragon · Mar 10, 2012

2. Can you hear me now?!

PEBKAC2 · Mar 11, 2012

3. The warranty is only one year, this alliws us to keep the costs down and we pass that savings directly on to our customers. And let's be honest here -- most of you will not be around to take advantage of a longer warranty anyway.

Chris P · Mar 11, 2012

4. This bed soars above the rest.

Lavern08 · Mar 11, 2012

5. "You're gonna sleep so well, you'll think you died and went to Heaven!"

SCENE: Your blind date is horrible and you need an excuse to dash out of the restaurant.

archerjoe · Mar 11, 2012

1. Didn't you hear? Brett Favre is coming back and he found Kaiser-Kun's keys!!

Robbert · Mar 11, 2012

2. Cor blimey! I forgot to inject, insulin, I mean!

poetinahat · Mar 11, 2012

3. "This would make a GREAT 'How We Met' post. Sorry, gotta go log into AW..."

Silent Rob · Mar 12, 2012

4. There are jazz hands in my soup!

parumpdragon · Mar 12, 2012

5. I forgot to wash my hair, I'd better go do that!

A shopaholic's worst nightmare at the mall.

poetinahat · Mar 12, 2012

1. "Back in 5 10 15 30 ~~minutes~~ tomorrow"

Robbert · Mar 13, 2012

2. Sale!!! Sellout!!! Bargain Sale!!! Clearance Sale!!! Closing-Down Sale.

Silent Rob · Mar 13, 2012

3. We no longer accept Euros.

Lavern08 · Mar 13, 2012

4. Everything's been marked down to 75% off and I left my wallet at home!!!!!

Zephronias · Mar 13, 2012

5. "Sorry, cash only."

Things that shouldn't be done or said within sight or earshot of your child's teacher.

EzzyAlpha · Mar 13, 2012

1-...and then the donkey got on stage and the stripper...

Silent Rob · Mar 14, 2012

2. One more espresso before class, little jimmy?

Scenes from a hat!

Unable to write straight females.

Why do I say these things?

Sit Down, and Shut Up!

!

Practical experience FTW

Practical experience FTW

Unable to write straight females.

I sometimes hiccup fire

Will crit for food.

Likes metaphors mixed, not stirred

Sit Down, and Shut Up!

Practical experience FTW

say it loud

Riff-Raff

I sometimes hiccup fire

say it loud

Practical experience FTW

Riff-Raff

Sit Down, and Shut Up!

Oh God, I'm trapped in a text box!

Unable to write straight females.

Riff-Raff