Grandma Susie's House of FUNNERS 'N FLOOZIES (Volume IV)

Silent Rob said:

This is all very topical. The little intercom thing here just buzzed and so, being the polite young englishman that I am, I opened the door and was confronted by two jarman ladies wanting to read me excerpts from the bible.

I totally dealt with them politely but firmly.

Custard pies to the face.

ROAR

PS. I was terribly polite, but unyielding. As far as religion goes, I know where I stand and I don't feel the need to discuss it with people I don't know on the doorstep.

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*buzzes Rob's intercom...*

Can I put you down for a double order of Your Personal Savior?

*waits for custard pie in the face.*

Yum.


p.s. Has a happy dance for Rosie... Go girl!

*Sends a dozen congratulatory Purple Roses to Rosie*

*Sends a gnat swatter to Kay*

*Sends a groucho marx mask to A/C - Yanno, for his trip to get grocerues*

*Sends a case of KJV Bibles to Rob*

*Sends a monocle to Cliff - So he can look dignified while he's reading*

*orders more shark infested custard*

I nevah heard the term 'jarmen' ladies... hope y'all have a fun weekend! Any fun plans that you can air in public?

PS verny, you forgot to send meh sometin'. I knowz ... a chokolit pie

Good morning, house of early risers!

I don't know what a jarmen lady is either, Susie... I'd think it would be men with jars, but you know....

oh... GERMAN? Maybe? He was being amusing. Such a scamp.

PR - so awesome! Congratulations!

Cliff Face said:

The stupid thing is, this is a private number.

And I'm too polite. I tell them I'm not interested, giving them a chance to end the call themselves. If they persist, I just hang up.

It's for the next 10 minutes afterwards that I'm ranting and raving in my head about all the ways I should've yelled at the guy.

Alas for politeness!

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it is because you are Australian. You can't be rude with that accent.

Silent Rob said:

I learned over the last ten years or so not to be so polite to people who cold call you or stop you on the street trying to sell you things.

I don't like being impolite, but bitter experience has taught me that they see any concession towards humanity as a sign of weakness.

*jazz hands*

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This is because you are English. Now, the English are very polite, or so they believe, but they also harbor the dreaded elevated nostrils that make everything they say, even polite things, seem like it could be taken for politeness... or for a polite way of telling you to go pound sand.

And you know I love me an English accent, Rob.

Silent Rob said:

To be honest, I don't tend to go for outright rudeness, because at the end of the day, I suppose they're just doing their job. I favour the same assertiveness up front that you just whipped out on them.

You can still do that politely, while crushing them of any hope that you'll bend over and allow them to have their wicked way with you.

Everybody's a wiener!

ROAR

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And I also go for the "Not interested" and shutting the door. Or hanging up. The hanging up is very easy for me.

I'm polite.

Congrats, Rosie. Great news!!!!



Q. Why does AC hoard coffee? (Answer at bottom of post.)


I had a dilemma this morning. We were out of coffee. (Put it down to bad planning.) I was all set to go to the store - but then the reeds, in the park next to my house, started burning.

They burn every year - though usually in July or early August when they are very dry. What to do? While there is no danger of my house catching alight, I still couldn't bring myself to drive away when there were huge flames just metres away from my fence.



So I just sat there - and took pictures - and went without coffee - and suffered.


A. Because AC is more intelligent than GailD. !!

Congrats, PR!

Hunker down, Gail!(but get some coffee!)

I deal with roving religious retards by saying, "I have a God, and I'm not interested in being proselytized about yours."

I always thought "jarmen ladies" were psychopaths that kept a collection on a shelf. . . .

Ken.


The fire's out now and I haz coffee.

Religious visitors and other salespeople can't get to my front door due to high fence/walls and electric fencing. (See, it doesn't just keep criminals out.) They have to ring the bell and speak into the intercom. I tell them all I gave at the office.

I have coffee!

And tuna.

I haz hazelnut coffee

and bibles - (Just so all of you religious retard haters know)

But I haz no Haagen-Dazs

However, I haz to buy grocerues today and will stock up on ice cream

I had an ice cream!

But I cycled 30 miles to get it.

ROAR

Thank you everyone for your encouragement.

And more good news, too...

I FINISHED HIGH SCHOOL!!!

Congrats, Bill!

I finished high school too!



Uh, a few years ago.

I've been thinking about getting a MFA. Then again, I've been thinking about a lot of things.

Billtrumpet25 said:

Thank you everyone for your encouragement.

And more good news, too...

I FINISHED HIGH SCHOOL!!!

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Neil Gaiman's speech to a graduating university class.

http://player.vimeo.com/video/42372767?color=ffffff

Congrats, Bill! I'm glad there are still teens named Bill. I don't know why.

I just am.

Yays!

Now the real bullcrap begins!

I swear my cats whiskers have grown exponentially in a short period of time. I know they're supposed to be as wide as the cat, and she's gotten "wider" in a good way, since she's been fixed... but those whiskers. They are crazy.

Billtrumpet25 said:

I FINISHED HIGH SCHOOL!!!

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Welcome to the big pond, grasshopper.

Pick a role model.

You can choose from Cliff, ac or me.

*jazz hands*

Silent Rob said:

You can choose from Cliff, ac or me.

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Or Charles Manson. Or, possibly, Heinrich Himmler.