The "I'm sorry" thread

Nymtoc

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...but since you've already got eleven children, you might as well make it an even dozen.

I'm sorry people don't believe you are a god, but...
 

swgamble

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but since you are the god of obscure pop music does it really surprise you?

I' sorry that you live in a third world country, but...
 

Jehhillenberg

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we're working on it over here!

I'm sorry you didn't the job position you wanted but...
 

K.L. Bennett

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...unemployment pays enough to cover your bills, right?

I'm sorry your guitar string broke in the middle of that set, but...
 

CDSinex

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Maybe next time you'll think twice before not inviting me.

I'm sorry you didn't even get one response to the twenty-five résumés you sent out, but ...
 

ShannonR.

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what do you expect when you write them in Klingon?

I'm sorry your favorite American Idol contestant got sent home, but...
 

Komnena

In Honor of Peter Tomich,USS Utah
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now you don't have to be a slave to that show anymore.

I'm sorry I shot the reindeer but
 

Nymtoc

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...I can't stand red noses.

I'm sorry you misunderstood the word "rat" when you made the ratatouille, but...
 

JDM1950

Never Forget the First Time
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...I only speak Elvish. Amin hiraetha.

I'm sorry for giving you that wedgie at the Nobel Prize Ceremony but...
 

Komnena

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it was just to remind you that all glory is fleeting.
I'm sorry I dyed your cat pink and orange but
 

Robbert

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...hey, who cares? Since cats are unable to pick out shades of red -- not one tomcat will notice.

I'm sorry you had to sneeze five times when the orchestra was playing a Händel transcription, but...
 

CDSinex

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you should really get some help to overcome your cocaine "problem."

I'm sorry your co-worker filed a harassment complaint against you, but ...
 

Nymtoc

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...was it smart to tell her you'd make sure she'd be fired if she didn't give you a Lewinski?

I'm sorry you live in a high-crime area and have no locks on your doors, but...
 
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Robbert

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...here comes what I believe in: the more locks = the more has a person to hide.

I'm sorry you spend your days at a busy crossroads trying to spot elephants, but...
 

CDSinex

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after being unemployed for 2-years, you should consider yourself lucky to have landed that job as a crossing guard at the zoo.

I'm sorry you couldn't find a house-sitter for during your vacation, but ...
 

Robbert

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...you seem to be confusing me with someone else: I neither own a house, nor am I employed.

I'm sorry you can't see the wood for the trees, but...
 

Komnena

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you won't have to worry about it when Birnam Wood comes to Dunsinane.
I'm sorry your pet lion outgrew your house but
 

Robbert

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...to be fair, it 'only' outgrew the door, which means the lion is now properly locked inside.

I'm sorry you confused Perestroika with a vodka brand, but..
 

Nymtoc

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...it has such an intricate design no one will notice.

I'm sorry you turned out to be a one-hit wonder, but...
 

Robbert

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...to me, the emphasis is on 'wonder'.

I'm sorry Caesar isn't alive to deal with the mess his country is in, but...
 

JDM1950

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...he sure made a great salad.

I'm sorry for spreading that rumor about you and the hamster, but...
 

Robbert

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...let me assure you, I'm not the only one who loves walking his hamster.

I'm sorry you bought a microwave instead of learning to cook properly, but...