Learn Writing with Uncle Jim, Volume 1

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RJK

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I had to look it up, but I had a feeling from the sound of the word what it meant. My guess was close. I saw Bambi but didn't read it, so I didn't encounter the word there. I don't read books where twitterpatted would normally be used but now that I think about it, it might make for good dialog for my hard boiled detective to use the word when describing his partner's love relationship. I'll keep it in mind.
 

Yeshanu

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Thanks for the link, HConn. Even if I ultimately don't hire a pr or marketing firm, there's some good info in that article on how to build a career.
 

Calliopenjo

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Contractions

Hi Uncle Jim,

I have a question. A person from modern day USA, MC, travels to fantasy land. MC is used to using contractions-can't, won't, I'm, haven't, etc. The people in fantasy land do not use contractions-cannot, will not, I am, have not, etc. Here is where the question comes in: Would it weird or strange if MC uses contractions in a land that doesn't?

"I said I'll clean the bathtub," MC said, "I have to take the laundry to get cleaned first."

"You will clean the bathtub then?" Fantasy member said, "It will be good to soak for a long while."

Does that look strange?
 

Bartholomew

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Hi Uncle Jim,

I have a question. A person from modern day USA, MC, travels to fantasy land. MC is used to using contractions-can't, won't, I'm, haven't, etc. The people in fantasy land do not use contractions-cannot, will not, I am, have not, etc. Here is where the question comes in: Would it weird or strange if MC uses contractions in a land that doesn't?

"I said I'll clean the bathtub," MC said, "I have to take the laundry to get cleaned first."

"You will clean the bathtub then?" Fantasy member said, "It will be good to soak for a long while."

Does that look strange?

I think it very likely that your fantasy land folk would have trouble understanding your MC. Especially if he has any sort of accent.
 

MumblingSage

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The question I'd ask is: why do people in your fantasy land speak perfect modern English, except for contractions?

Or is there some sort of magical translation going on here? Or will you use the contractions/lack thereof to symbolize that they're speaking differently?
 

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The question I'd ask is: why do people in your fantasy land speak perfect modern English, except for contractions?

Or is there some sort of magical translation going on here? Or will you use the contractions/lack thereof to symbolize that they're speaking differently?

I think it's a safe assumption that in an alternate-world fantasy (Diane Wynne Jones' "fantasyland") the story you are reading is a translation. There's nothing wrong with this unstated conceit, in my opinion.

That said, you don't want to use modern slang in an alternate-world fantasy, because even though the story is a translation, slang still draws attention to itself and doesn't fit with the world of the story.
 
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I think it's a safe assumption that in an alternate-world fantasy (Diane Wynne Jones' "fantasyland") the story you are reading is a translation. There's nothing wrong with this unstated conceit, in my opinion.

That said, you don't want to use modern slang in an alternate-world fantasy, because even though the story is a translation, slang still draws attention to itself and doesn't fit with the world of the story.

Okay, but does this magic include translation both ways? If so, why would this be an issue? Does the magical translator not know contractions?
 

Calliopenjo

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This may sound conceited but, let's pretend that in my fantasy world they speak English. The thing that I want to know is how does it look. Does it look strange, weird, out of place? I don't want somebody turning the story upside down and inside out because I'm mixing contractions in with extended spellings of the same word as in the example below.
 

OremLK

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Okay, but does this magic include translation both ways? If so, why would this be an issue? Does the magical translator not know contractions?

The "translation" isn't supposed to be magic at all, as far as I'm concerned. It's like somebody found the text and stuck it into English. Or even better, it's like you're hearing the ideas directly from the point-of-view characters' minds, and don't need to understand the language. Contractions are okay because they're used to convey a more casual tone of speech, which would exist in any language.
 
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The "translation" isn't supposed to be magic at all, as far as I'm concerned. It's like somebody found the text and stuck it into English. Or even better, it's like you're hearing the ideas directly from the point-of-view characters' minds, and don't need to understand the language. Contractions are okay because they're used to convey a more casual tone of speech, which would exist in any language.


Okay, fine for that... but if the MC speaks english--being from the US, and the fantasy landers don't... then you sort of need magic translation... unless of course it's some sort of parallel world, or realism isn't your goal. Which is fine, I suppose, but then, there wouldn't need to be translation of any kind. It's sort of a conundrum.
 

HConn

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This may sound conceited but, let's pretend that in my fantasy world they speak English. The thing that I want to know is how does it look. Does it look strange, weird, out of place? I don't want somebody turning the story upside down and inside out because I'm mixing contractions in with extended spellings of the same word as in the example below.


Really, the only thing to do is write it and judge for yourself. After it's done, take a look at it and see what you think, or show it to beta readers.

Good luck.
 

Mr Flibble

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In my fantasy I have a race that doesn't use contractions. It seems to work, but then again they don't have huge amounts of speaking time. Whether it would seem stilted if only the MC used contractions and everyone else didn't...well write it and see. There are other ways to convey a formality of speech other than no contractions, including word choice and order of words.
 

allenparker

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contractions

If these people never use contractions, how do the women deliver babies?

Seriously, have I missed something here or is there a large amount of people using this device to separate people? Wouldn't there have to be other differences in the speech pattern to support this?

I am just asking...
 

Bookdragonette

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My first thought is always of Data (from Star Trek, for the non-fans), in discussions like this...His excuse was that contractions were a very human thing to do, and thus he couldn't.

I agree with the naked guy above me. The use of contractions vs. the lack of them shouldn't be the only distinction between two groups of people. I'd look for more than that. Differences in slang, things like that.
 

euclid

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No way

Absolutely. Even the Queen of England surely uses the occassional contraction, but probably doesn't say, "We're up s**t creek." (As a wonderful example of American slang.)

No, no, NO. Her Majesty would NEVER say anything so CRUDE. She would say: "One is up sh*t creek without a paddle."

:ROFL:
 

Alphabeter

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WE, Royal WE.

We are finding ourselves up the creek of shite without a paddle. Where is that steward?
 

Mr Flibble

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I agree with the naked guy above me. The use of contractions vs. the lack of them shouldn't be the only distinction between two groups of people.

Oh I agree too, as I said you can use words choice and order of words also. But it can be used as one distinction between two speakers.
 

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I had no contractions in my memoir, then I read that agent's like them. Makes for faster reading...is this true? Need I put back the words?
 

IceCreamEmpress

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Damon Runyon's characters did not use contractions. It is a legitimate stylistic choice.

Damon Runyon's characters only use the present tense as well. They never use the past tense, even when they are discussing events that occur many years ago.

This kind of highly artificial stylistic choice generally works better with comedy, and in short forms, than it does with other genres and in long forms. Then again, Damon Runyon sells more than somewhat, whereas I am but a midlist hack who can hardly afford a slice of Mindy's cheesecake.

Emerita said:
I had no contractions in my memoir

That sounds like a huge mistake. One of the key features of memoir is that they represent different authors' distinctive voices. Using contractions feels conversational; not using contractions almost always sounds stiffly formal.

Since your memoir, as I recall it, is a story of your own challenging life experiences, and is leavened by your wit, why not use contractions? Overformality doesn't seem like it's in keeping with your memoir's subject to me.
 
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SusanH

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I can't even afford the thought of cheesecake. I guess I'll keep the contractions. Going back and fixing them...well....I'd rather scrounge up change to think about cheesecake.....
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