Horror Movie Pet Peeves

Shadow_Ferret said:

Actually, the bullet won't MAKE you fall in any direction. It doesn't have that kind of impact. If the bullet has enough power to knock a person down (or as some movies show, pick the person up and throw them), then that same power would have been transfered to the person holding the gun, knocking them over. "For ever action, there is an equal and opposite reaction."

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All right, you have a point. It won't MAKE you fall backwards but it will PUSH you that way. If the person being shot is moving forward, the momentum would probably keep them going forward. But I'm talking about the obvious examples where the main reason the victim dies is so that they can fall off the cliff or whatever and look cool.

You do have a very good point about the 'equal and opposite reaction'. It's ridiculous when a bullet 'picks someone up and throws them backward'.

Another pet peeve is that people (esp. bad guys) always die immediately. It's actually very difficult to kill someone with a bullet instantly.

These are great. I think my biggest peeve is when the movie is so dark, you can't tell what's going on. And excessive blood or torn flesh; it gets old fast. And the requirement that bit players have sex before dying. Or during. I guess gratuitous sex and blood thrown in for no reason is annoying to me in any genre. Sex and blood are important, darn it. Stop trivializing.

I love old horror movies. In my heart of hearts, I know some day I'll find one where the broad wandering around in the dark is going to drop that flickering candle and set the floaty negligee on fire, while the monster/ghost/murderer screams for a change.

Script-writers should stop shutting cats in places where the cat can't get. Anyone who owns cats knows darn well the cat isn't going to jump out when shut in a cupboard or closet; they'll be snoozing or yowling to get out. As for stray cats in garbage bins, they'd most likely be hiding from strangers, not leaping at them. If disturbed, they race away from the threat, not at. They're smarter than the humans in horror films that way.

The danger from cats is tripping over them while wandering through the dark in a negligee, holding a lighted candle... Ooh, story idea. Attack of the Recumbent Feline Beastie.

Shadow_Ferret said:

Basic rules to survive:
Turn on the lights!
Don't go in the basement!
Don't wear high heels when running away from slow, ambling creature.
Watch where you are running! Step over all roots and rocks and duck when you see a tree branch!
Kill it! Don't let it sway you by temporarily showing you it used to be your significant other.
If the house is creepy looking, don't think it's a quaint fixer upper. Ask the realtor to show you something in a well-lit neighborhood.
When something says, "Get out" don't think twice, DO IT!
Don't take a shortcut through a graveyard at night.
Always carry a utility belt filled with garlic, silver, crucifix, salt, holy water, stakes, and a tiny version of the Bible, just in case.

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Bolded items on this list also apply when visiting Dundee.

Drunk priests who have lost their faith, in all permutations. Have you ever seen a possession movie without one?

Also, it annoys me when the horror movie takes a turn into a construction site or abandoned amusement park. Really, really annoys me.

this was said (kind of) before, but also applies to "action/adventure" films as well. When the MC is hurt and there is the chance for gratuitous sex, all of a sudden they are not hurt.

The only movie I can think of where this was portrayed "realistically" was Indiana Jones: Raiders of the Lost Ark.

"Where doesn't it hurt?"

Recent bad habit of film-makers - loud noises just to make you jump. I don't mind a door slamming loudly in the silence if it's a poltergeist doing it. I do mind if it's the best mate doing it. Gaaaahhhh!

Oh, and overwrought music when there's nothing bloody happening! It's like the music is taking the place of action and atmosphere. I saw one film recently - can't remember what it was - I think it might have been some dross called 'Prey' - that annoyed the hell out of me with this stupidity.

Never have sex in a horror movie! The virgin always lives. The moment you have sex, you're a goner! (i.e. Machete through the bed in Friday the 13th kills both!) It just makes it easier for them to kill you in one swoop...or in two if you're Michael Myers!

Why hide in a closet if someone is chasing you? Run AWAY! It always is a closet with a rickety, paneled door! I mean hangers are nice and throwing shoes might distract him, but not enough for you to get out of the closet and run!

If your kid says your doll did it, believe em!

Why do the heroes/heroines always think they kill the murderer...and then instead of making sure they are dead they throw the weapon down (near the supposedly dead killer)? Then they fall on the floor nearby in agony....like whhhhyy! Fall outside once the police arrive stupid.

If someone tried to kill me you can bet the knife would be stabbing or gun would be shooting until I was damn sure the person was dead and I wouldn't let go of the weapon until the cops arrived!

Never take antique artifacts from anyone. They will come to life and try to kill you.

I'm sick of vampire stereotypes - Garlic....Stakes....Crosses....Holy Water....All of those things are so blasé!

Children who cannot go near churches (or monkeys) are evil!

Don't hire a Nanny who claims she is from the same agency as the one who just killed herself because she loved your son so much!

Why is there NEVER anyone in a hospital at night? The murderer is always there but no doctors, candy strippers, nurses, etc. Poor limping victims always try to get out and rarely ever do!

Lazy writing that doesn't make sense. Like when the bad guy/monster/whatever just appears wherever the victim happens to be, with no explanation of how he knew where she was.

I know a screenwriter who's used the same lame trip in at least four screenplays (two of them made into movies): the hero discovers someone horribly murdered, summons police, shows them the mangled body, and they immediately, and without a trace of evidence, arrest him for the murder.

It's an ancient formula for suspense stories, but for Gawdsakes, you gotta give the cops some reason for suspecting the hero. In this guy's movies, just being the one who discovers the dead body is "probable cause."

mommyjo2 said:

Drunk priests who have lost their faith, in all permutations. Have you ever seen a possession movie without one?

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I've never seen a church without one. (Sorry -- the devil made me write that!)

The sweet young thang who manages to clobber/shoot/stab or otherwise disable the baddie with one blow. Then SYT blithely walks away--sans weapon! You NEVER give up your weapon unless they pry it from your cold dead hands, or warm live ones recently detached...You know what I mean...

Literate villians I adore: Freddy Kreuger & Dr Hannibal Lector. You can keep the Jason and related hacker/slasher tripe to feed the pigs.

Hate the whole: 'teenager has sex and must die' victim...yawn.

Without all these pet peeves horror movies wouldn't be what they are Sure no one should go into the basement alone or stay in the house... or have the lone virgin girl survive... As far as the bad dialogue goes...well like I said

I want to do a horror movie where the slut and the stoner are the last ones standing.

"Stop or I'll shoot" is pretty stupid, but the worst is when the killer is able to walk right up and snatch the gun away from whoever it is without getting his ass perforated.

People not realizing that their acquaintance/friend/spouse/relative/pet is possessed or undead, despite it being EXTREMELY FUCKING OBVIOUS.

I know it's been addressed so I'll just agree: Sex in the hideout. While I'm normally a big fan, I'm sure it'll be the last thing on my mind if I manage to temporarily give the slip to someone/thing that is trying to kill/possess me.