Bad Vibes

Yes, definitely, and I think it is a combination. Sometimes something hits you wrong or too strongly, and that other person would have no way of knowing that. Heck, sometimes I don't even know it. Sometimes you hit their sore spots, same way. I think most of us consider ourselves rational and may not even realize that sometimes we're really not.

And then you are dealing with anybody who wants to sign up. Some people really are quite rude, blunt, know-it-all, bullying, aggressive, lacking in social skills, drunk, or mentally unbalanced. Either sometimes or all the time.

So, to answer your question, yes. LOL. *I have no idea why but this whole thing just cracked me up.*

dpaterso said:

That's the big problem with the internet... people say things they wouldn't dare say to you in real life for fear of getting punched in the kisser!

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Round here, that would mean we were engaged.

Well, if you acted more like my characters, we'd be fine

I think it may be because we are a bunch of writers, for lots of reasons.

That and that it's the internet. I'm so glad we didn't have it when I was growing up

Things are ever thus.

Strangers use their anonymity to troll or just be mean to others. Most people are helpful. Over time, you learn who to pay attention to and who to ignore. Why let a stranger dictate your mood? I don't. Let it go and move on to more positive areas.

There are people on AW who don't like me. There are people on AW I don't like. This site's big enough for the both of us, and if any situation pisses me off enough, I take some time away because I like AW more than I dislike any one person. Once I've cooled down, it's all good.

And being 'forced offline' pushes me into the world of fleshpeoples, where I gather material for my next book anyway, so it works out in the end.

Agreeing with everything Derek said, but also agreeing with this:

Fruitbat said:

And then you are dealing with anybody who wants to sign up. Some people really are quite rude, blunt, know-it-all, bullying, aggressive, lacking in social skills, drunk, or mentally unbalanced. Either sometimes or all the time.

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And that's precisely why AW has the "report post" function. The best way - the proper way - to deal with these sorts of issues is to click on that nifty little button. Or, you know, PM a mod.

Airing grievances in a public thread is not the appropriate way to handle things, and rarely does anybody any good.

Every group I've ever been a part of, in real life and online, has had annoying people in it -- and people I've annoyed. Why should AW be any different?

In RL and here, I do the same thing. I study the annoying people until I have their individual patterns down, and then I enjoy predicting what they're going to say or do or write in any given situation.

As in "Oh, hell. This thread is going to make XXX get up on his/her XXXXX hobbyhorse. Wait for it, waaaaaaiiiiiiit -- and there he/she goes! Score!" *

Lemons to lemonade, baby. Or, as Mr. Bennet says, "For what do we live, but to make sport for our neighbours, and laugh at them in our turn?''



* To preserve civility, one should not point out the predictable person's predictability but enjoy a private smile about it.

In all my time here I've only put one person on "ignore." Then a few months later, took him off and all was okay. As others have said, it's like real life, only online you can't see their faces or hear their tone of voice to have a better sense of their attitude toward you.

You're never going to like everyone in a large community. And getting too focused on that is a bad thing... I've seen people who spend all their time shouting at the people they don't like, rather than focusing on talking to the people they do like. The result is they derail their own threads.

scarletpeaches said:

There are people on AW who don't like me.

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There are people on AW who you.

Phaeal said:

As in "Oh, hell. This thread is going to make XXX get up on his/her XXXXX hobbyhorse. Wait for it, waaaaaaiiiiiiit -- and there he/she goes! Score!"

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I'll admit to having a whole stable of hobby horses, each a little more obnoxious than the last.

The one thing that really gets to me here is when people join AW and start threads or reply with comments attempting to earn money off of our members. Offering paid formatting or editing services, for example. It really, really pisses me off. As a long time member of this community I have benefited from the critiques, support and advice offered here, and try to share what I've learned with others. That we freely share is precisely what makes this community valuable. So when someone comes along and says to themselves, "Look at this community rich with writers, how can I monetize it for myself? Hey, here's my website for paid editing/formatting/bla bla bla" I want to punch them in the teeth.

I think anyone offering paid services for writers here should be immediately and permanently banned for violating the spirit of this community.

/rant

I used to let it get to me. Now I get a kick out of it.
There are certain people who just love to debate and will do their very best to read the very worst in whatever others write. They thrive on it.
But keep in mind that it could be worse.
They could be part of your real life, rather than just your virtual life.
At least you can walk away from this.

Devil Ledbetter said:

There are people on AW who you.

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Bleurgh. I feel all icky.

scarletpeaches said:

Bleurgh. I feel all icky.

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Someone needs a visit from the Care Bear.

I hate you guys.

scarletpeaches said:

I hate you guys.

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Your current avatar reminds me of a Kewpie Doll.

LMC - I'm probably about to be one of those people you are complaining about, but I just don't see you taking this back seat as you claim to on this site. I see you taking all your anxieties about the publication process and writing thread after thread after thread about it. To me, I can't see any good coming out of indulging your insecurities like that.

Further I have never seen anyone treat you badly here. I have seen people repeat the same advice to you over and over and you not take it and then subsequently (like a day later) post a new thread on almost the exact same topic. And people showing up on that one and pointing you in the direction of a former one. If that's what you mean by mean, well then I guess people are just cruel here.

(okay, to be fair, nobody's perfect, and I am sure you have the odd legitimate reason to be upset, but I think it's a tiny bit offensive to start a thread about mean people at AW when every single one of the threads you start is met by extremely helpful advice and empathy)

But maybe, just maybe, this isn't about the other members here, but about you. You are saying others are misinterpreting your words, but I think you often misinterpret others. I truly think that every time you start a thread about wait times or form rejections or submission patterns or whatever, you are waiting for one person to come along, wave a magic wand and make everything all better. And no one can do that for you. People can only offer you pragmatic advice. And that's where the problem comes in. You don't seem to actually want to hear pragmatic advice.

My recommendation to you would to actually step back from this site. Or better still, instead of constantly starting new threads about your woes, join in the conversations others are having. On other topics. Try to take your mind off of submissions, as opposed to indulging every concern. I think it will make you feel less stressed. And maybe if you offer to help others, instead of asking constantly for help yourself, you'll see that you actually do know your stuff, and you can sit back and relax and not worry so much.

You have experience, you have writing skill, and you have been through all this before. You should have more faith in yourself, and worry just a bit less.

I apologise if this makes me one of those bad posters here. I'm truly only trying to help.

scarletpeaches said:

I hate you guys.

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One of my 4-year-olds pulled that on me yesterday when I told him it was bedtime in the middle of his favorite show (Recorded. He can watch it today.). I'll terrorize you with the same response:

Too bad because I'll always love you!! (minus the tickles).

scarletpeaches said:

I hate you guys.

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Let's have a group hug to show SP that she's loved and appreciated.

scarletpeaches said:

Bleurgh. I feel all icky.

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Yeah? Well, get ready to feel ickier.