Re: re:confessions
Stupid Internet Marketing Ideas That Don't Work
Amazon subdivision
Go to Amazon. Find the hundred top-selling books that resemble yours in any way. Write reviews of those books (you don't have to read the books, just review them). Make sure your reviews are glowing five-star reviews. In the course of your review, say "This is the best book I've read since [Title and author of your book]." Post this as "A reader" from [Somewhere other than where you live].
Go to Amazon. Find the top hundred books in your category. You know those "recommended in addition to" links? Put in your book. If you have all your friends do this, you can have Lots of folks recommending your book "in addition to" the top-selling book.
Go to Amazon. Find the top-twenty best-selling books in your category. Make a list in the List-o-mania section. Put in those top twenty books, and
your book. That way, any time one of those top books comes up, there's a chance your list will come up too. And if someone looks at the list, that someone will be looking right at your book!
Go to Amazon. Write a glowing review of your own book as "A Reader." For more fun, have all your friends write glowing reviews too. Try to spread 'em out in time, and sprinkle in a few four-star reviews to make it look realistic. If they review your book, you can review theirs! One hand washes the other... (and while you're at it, they can be the ones doing the "in addition to" check boxes).
Now, General Web:
Set up a web page about Your Book. Make sure it has a link to Amazon! Throw in a guestbook and a counter. Make the address of your webpage your sig for e-mail. Geocities is Great! Don't forget to enter it in all the search engines! And join web rings.
Lots of web rings! Guest book! Counter! Flash animation! Graphics! Music! Make your page
stand out. Get a list of the top fifty search terms at Google, and put them in the Meta-tag keywords.
Go to all those Free Ad Sites. (Google on "free ads") Type in ads for Your Book!
Go to PRWeb. Post your press release! A new press release every month isn't too much.
Go to various web boards. Enter, and post links to your webpage in random groups on assorted boards!
Do this in the middle of the night on a Friday when the administrators (who can delete the posts and lock you out) are asleep or away.
General Internet:
Get a list of e-mail addresses. Some folks call it lunch meat, but I call it Spam! Send nice chatty letters to thousands of unsuspecting strangers. If they only knew about your book they'd buy it, right? Make sure your letter has your ISBN and a link to your web page! The more thousands of strangers you can reach out and touch, the better. (You can get software packages that'll do this automatically, but doing it by hand is free.) Here's a
bunch of tricks for getting past those pesky spam filters. They didn't mean to keep
you out, did they?
Go to newsgroups. Hundreds of them. Thousands of them. Using a false name, go in and post a breathless announcement about your book. Don't forget to explain how you came across this book by accident, and make sure that you include ordering information.
Here's a made-up example:
<Blockquote>
Hi! My name is Mortimer Glatzbier. The other day I was cleaning out the cat box when I saw a book that my friend Bob must have left lying around the last time he visited. It was The Apocalypse Door by James D. Macdonald. I'd never heard of either the book or the author, and it didn't look like the kind of book I like, but I picked it up. Before I finished the first sentence I was hooked! This book is the best book I've ever read. I asked my friend Bob who this James D. Macdonald who wrote The Apocalypse Door is, but he didn't know. Can anyone tell me who he is?! I must know if he wrote anything else, because I'm going to buy it! This is the best book I've ever read, and James D. Macdonald has to be the best author writing in English today! I can't believe that he isn't on the top of the New York Times Best Seller Chart! I'm going to have a sex change operation just so I can bear his love child!
I'm going to go over to Amazon.com right now and write a five-star review of this book. Everyone should go over there and write a five star review! Then I'm going to nominate it for a Hugo, a Nebula, an Edgar, a Howie, and a Rita. Then I'm going to read it again! The Apocalypse Door (by James D. Macdonald, a person I don't even know) is that perfect book that everyone will love!!!! You can get it at Amazon.com, at Barnes&Noble, or special order it at your local bookstore! It's got an ISBN number of 0312869886 (you'll need that to special order it). Don't forget to review it at Amazon, because you'll be totally amazed by this wonderful book by an author I'd never heard of before today!!!!!
</blockquote>