Teens Writing for Teens, the 5th

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lisalulu09

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I'm so sure I'm not going to finish my short story tonight. If it wasn't for having to get up at 7, I would stay up all night until I finished it, just so I could write the awkward kiss scene. :(
 

lisalulu09

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Erm, over the Christmas holidays if I remember rightly. I want to finish the first draft soon, so I can put it to one side with the other creative writing coursework for the next few weeks while I focus on the journalism stuff.
 

lisalulu09

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Am I crazy for wanting it out of the way asap so I can focus on the less exciting stuff?
 

Kyla Laufreyson

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Is the 330 word version posted? I can try to help you cut it down a bit more.

I seem to have another semi-date tonight now. My dad was supposed to go to a jazz concert with me and now he's not, so I asked my friend to go with me. Yay.
 

lisalulu09

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I'm stuck on my short story now because all of the ideas I have seem crap. :/
 

parumpdragon

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Is the 330 word version posted? I can try to help you cut it down a bit more.

I seem to have another semi-date tonight now. My dad was supposed to go to a jazz concert with me and now he's not, so I asked my friend to go with me. Yay.

Yes, it is up.

The current one is posted at the very top, can't miss it :D

*But only if you have time.

Thankx:Hug2:
 

Kyla Laufreyson

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I have time before I have to leave for my concert...45 minutes to kill. So I'll try seeing if I can do anything with it.
 

lisalulu09

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It is so tempting to go to bed... just because I'm stuck. I'm not that tired yet.

ETA: I'm going to go now.
 
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MysteryRiter

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Good luck! I'm going through sorta the same thing with my high school applications but it's not AS big of a deal.
Well, today I got my first request. Ever. I guess it's a little pitiful to have never gotten a request but still...
It's a full request from an agent who reps a #1 nyt bestseller and other award winning books! Woot! Woot! Even if it is pathetic for me to be celebrating this, I am anyway. :D

:partyguy:
 

Missus Akasha

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Hello, Bookgirl! :)

If anyone can help, I need advice about something. I've got this character who is basically the personification of Sloth. I have been debating on whether he and my lead female should be a couple down the line. She is the personification of Wrath.

The only problem is that because he is Sloth, he has apathy and its always switched on. That aspect will be changed later on. He feels bits and pieces of emotions, but for the most part, he doesn't feel anything at all except pain if inflicted. Which as a child, he asks his twin brother, Vanity, to cut him so he could feel something, anything. Vanity, however, decides to head straight for his face mostly because V wanted to remain the handsomer of the two. Sloth didn't have the feelings to care. So now he has a scar slashed across his face.

All in all, how in the world can I writer the POV of a character who represents Sloth and has apathy without making the writing boring? Moreso, how could they ultimately end up together? Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated.
 
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Kyla Laufreyson

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Hmm....I have something of a similar situation that will arise in the future. It's a character who has trouble feeling emotion and such. He's even the LI. I plan to handle that by having him WANT to feel. He wants to learn. And as he's learning about emotion itself, he realizes he's actually gaining them and that one of them is love for the person who is helping him learn.

I have no idea if that does you any good, but yeah.

And and and, this is not writing related at all but I want to share because I'm just so happy. I had to go to a Jazz concert today and I invited my friend to go with me and I like him and such...and I ended up texting him after to TELL him that I like him. He said he likes me too. I'm legitimately over the moon right now.
 

Missus Akasha

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That's wonderful, Ari! :)

I am just trying to depict a decent portrayal of Sloth without being emo or corny about it. The only two people that he feels or felt anything for is his brother, Vanity, and his mother who is now dead. He has a pendant necklace that was once hers and keeps it to him.

With the lead female in the picture, he begins to feel an inkling of something, but it's not enough to fully break the apathy. So he will have to do something else to be able to switch it on and off. He has other powers too which are paralyze inducement and time manipulation. If he is overwhelmed with Sloth then anyone he touches will become instantly paralyzed without any control and his apathy will be remained switched on.
 

Kyla Laufreyson

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My family might question me if I start actually dancing :D

ETA: I would just give him twinges of feeling as much as you can. And instead of emo, just shoot for monotone. Monotone is excellent for apathy.

ETA again: I'm off. I'm falling asleep at my laptop. Talk to y'all tomorrow :)
 
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amlptj

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Think about the TV show Bones. Dr. Brennen cant really feel emotions, she like a human robot shut off from the world. If you want to get a real feel for apathy maybe you should look into books written by people with or to help people with Asperger syndrome.
 
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