Poems That Change Our Perceptions - Small Servings

I MOVE ON FOUR WITH THE RISING OF THE SUN,
THEN ON TWO WHEN THE DAY IS IN THE MIDDLE,
THEN ON THREE WHEN THE DAY IS FINALLY DONE,
SO COME YOU NOW AND TRY TO SOLVE THIS RIDDLE.

AT BIRTH I AM OH SO NEEDY, YOUNG AND WEAK,
IN YOUTH I GREET LIFE WITH GREAT RESOLVE,
IN TWILIGHT YEARS 'TIS FOR PEACE THAT I SEEK,
CONSIDER THE CLUES, THE RIDDLE YOU'LL SOLVE!

See if any of you can guess the answer to this verse!

Clue:

Based on a story from long ago and far away,
The riddle give the clues but does not say,
That it's a little tough they is no deny'in'
Just think head of man and body of lion,
An ancient question, simply rewritten,
Speaker alone and lonely in the hot sand sittin'.

D'racae'lyn

This is of my devising based on something I read as a child.

waking up cold,
I suspect the seasons
are playing a trick
on me

Thank you cassie, but which one should I put it in? And you seem to know your way around here pretty well, how would you advise someone who has next to no formal knowledge of accepted English sentence structure to critique others without offending anyone. My own writings come from my heart, not from a conscious knowledge of English grammar rules. They are couched exactly in the words as I truly speak when I soul speak and it is very difficult for me to do aught else, for I do not frequent the "real world" enough to be conversant with acceptable speech patterns other than from what I read.

Help, any advice would be welcome, as I desperately want to not only be accepted but also, even more importantly, learn to "speak the words of my heart" in a way that the world at large will find acceptable.

D'racae'lyn

I do not remember where it is, but I revamped something that I had written last father's Day and I posted it here on this site. One of the other members suggested I make it more of a "reader interactive" story rather than simply stating facts. Long and short of it, I did in fact and truth rewrite it. And strangely, although that is the first time that I have ever tried to consciously harness my writing ability, it actually turned out half way decent. It is under the heading called something like "victor or victim of fate's mercurial whims". If you have time could you take a look at both versions and give me your opinion whether I achieved, or at the very least partially grasped, the concept behind the advise the other site member gave me, and which is also on that page? I do not want to try to criticize others until I can be sure I know what I am talking about. I hate it when people get upset with me, it makes me depressed and I deal with that enough with my illness. I think it might be in the poetry section.

World speak lies but a moment on the ears and then is quickly forgotten, but soul speak dwells forever within the heart and is eternally remembered.

D'racae'lyn

Cassie, the thing that I revamped is called THE WHITE ROSE.

The small version with the image is the original, the other is the revamp.

D'racae'lyn

d_racae_lyn said:

I MOVE ON FOUR WITH THE RISING OF THE SUN,
THEN ON TWO WHEN THE DAY IS IN THE MIDDLE,
THEN ON THREE WHEN THE DAY IS FINALLY DONE,
SO COME YOU NOW AND TRY TO SOLVE THIS RIDDLE.

AT BIRTH I AM OH SO NEEDY, YOUNG AND WEAK,
IN YOUTH I GREET LIFE WITH GREAT RESOLVE,
IN TWILIGHT YEARS 'TIS FOR PEACE THAT I SEEK,
CONSIDER THE CLUES, THE RIDDLE YOU'LL SOLVE!

See if any of you can guess the answer to this verse!

Clue:

Based on a story from long ago and far away,
The riddle give the clues but does not say,
That it's a little tough they is no deny'in'
Just think head of man and body of lion,
An ancient question, simply rewritten,
Speaker alone and lonely in the hot sand sittin'.

D'racae'lyn

This is of my devising based on something I read as a child.

Click to expand...

The source of this riddle, methinks,
is surely the ancient Sphinx.
And answer I can,
I say it is Man;
now I think I shall catch forty winks.

Dear Midlifemark, you got it in one and it tickles me pink that you answered in rhyme!

it made me smile for the first time in over two weeks. you aren't really inspired to smile when you are fighting both mania and depression at the same time. sort of like being torn between two worlds.

D'racae'lyn

Mark hasn't started a Newbie thread yet, so I'm going to spill the beans a bit: he's a fellow pilot who participates in a pilots forum that I also post in from time to time. Over there, he's known as an all-round nice guy and the man with the most talent with verse -- by far.

And, Mark, welcome to AW! You now have a rep point. Click on "User CP" in the top tool bar to check it out.

Don't blow my cover, Brian, everybody thinks I write clean limericks!

You do! Sometimes.

To MidlifeMark and Qbynewbie

Way high up in the azure sky
On wings of dreams you often fly
Up there of earthly cares you're free
No boundaries far as eye can see
Join the eagle in its flight
Up among the clouds so light
All the cares of weary mankind
When you fly are left behind
Up there you hear the muse's voice
You'd never land if you had choice.

Wishing you both a dragon's blessing.....

MAY YOU HAVE CALM WINDS AND CLEAR SKIES FOREVER

D'racae'lyn

PS...just a spur of the moment composition in honor of you both. and sometime when you are flying, think of me kindly, that mayhaps my soul might also for a short time fly free of earthly cares.

How wonderful! Thank you very much for a very special poem. I'm going to post it on the pilots forum.

And the next time I go flying, I will take your name on a piece of paper and when I am high above the earth I will let it go free.

Thank you for such an unexpected, completely thoughtful gesture.

I can't fly without fuel in my tanks.
I can't make a smooth turn without banks.
But it all is made whole
When you add in the soul,
As you did in your lovely verse. Thanks!

Not really sure how this works, but I'll give it a shot. (Hopefully you won't shoot back if it's wrong )

From the corner of my eye,
a shadow on the wall,
is all that's left;
a memory of past sorrow
that follows always in my path.

MidlifeMark said:

The source of this riddle, methinks,
is surely the ancient Sphinx.
And answer I can,
I say it is Man;
now I think I shall catch forty winks.

Click to expand...

Mark beat me to the answer, so I'll add to clarify....

on all fours he'll crawl
when man is quite small
rise to two legs in time
to walk through his prime
but as older became
required a thin cane....

bad rhyme, but there you have it.

Now back to our regularly scheduled thread.

Bookshelf:

Competition between the strength of oak
And the weight of my hardback collection of
The complete works of Alexander Dumas

this walnut meat
resembles
a small, weathered
pelvis

as it is
crushed between my teeth
and as its shards
dissolve in my mouth
i imagine the taste
of x-ray

and i wonder
whether this xmas
i shall enjoy the taste
of the nutmeg