Learn Writing with Uncle Jim, Volume 1

Re: Analysing The Ingredients For A Real Page-Turner

Grisham is so huge that he can probably write toilet limericks and people will still buy his book.

If you pay attention, you will see that he's getting away from the courtroom suspense genre: A Painted House, Skipping Christmas, The Bleacher... do we see a trend?

In a Painted House, he tells the story with a VERY languid pace. The first few chapters, almost nothing happens and very little suspense.

It's very risky. Because he is Grisham, people give him a chance. I had to start the book a few times (because I have short attention span and the beginning of A Painted House was SO slow)... but once I was at about page 60 I got into it and it worked, because by then I already cared about the characters.

But Grisham can afford to do that, because he is Grisham. For a new writer, you need a hook or something that tickle your curiosity right from the start, even for a literary fiction! When Grisham was relativelynew (A Time To Kill, The Firm, etc.) he did the "hook" thing.


I'm still learning how to do it. I tend to end the book much stronger than I start it. For me it's still not second nature to know how to hook a reader right from the start, but I'm getting there.

Re: The Summons

Uncle Jim

In my terminology, a hook is something that gets us interested in the book itself and won't be resolved until we have read enough to be committed to the book. Matbe it is something trivial and the author will resolve it before the end of chapter one or maybe its central to the plao and won't be resolved until the end of the book. But it is a raises a question (and hopefully a bit of suspense). We need to read on while it is resolved and that gives the author time to build his characters and have us committed to the book.

Grisham doesn't start with something that needs to be resolved. He doesn't ask any questions that we need to keep reading to find the answers. All he does is chat about some interesting characters. He makes them so interesting our curiosity is engaged and we want to know more about the characters.

In your own words: The character's problems go from "Oooo, I'm standing next to a smelly bum," to "How do I get the smelly bum out of the office?" to "How do I avoid getting shot in the head?" all inside two pages.

"I am standing next to a smelly bum" doesn't raise anything that needs to be resolved. But it does engage our curiosity. What I consider the 'gosip factor' in us.

"How do I avoid getting shot in the head", accompanied with the bigger question "What the hell is going on here?" is one serious, whopping great hook that will definitely keep the reader committed while Grisham sets up whatever he wants to.

Grisham is a genious. (But he still needs to go to your course on 'How to Plot'. "Bleachers" was a washout and "The Last Juror" kind of 'lost the plot'. No pun intended. But I still read until I hit 'The End')

Nephew Jim

The Painted House

maestrowork

I've had 'The Painted House' for two years and have never managed to finish it. (Part of the problem is that I bought a copy with miniscule print.) Even after the fight and the killings, even after the 'naked girl in the river' I still haven't been able to finish it.

But I do enjoy reading it. I just never get committed enough to finish the book. I often pick it up and read a few pages. Just can't get interested enough to finish it.

Jim

Back to Pen Names

Uncle Jim

Sorry to keep returning to this stuff..

1. Way earlier, back when we were discussing little miss 'Misunderstood Authoress', you suggested she adopt a new Pen Name and change publisher. If she were using an agent (and she seemed to be) would she seek a different agent? If so, does the new agent get to know who she is?

2. If you use a different Pen Name for different genres, shouldn't you use a different agent as well?

3. Uncle Jim writes for different genres. Why is his YA work piblished under the same name as his adult stuff?

Re: Back to Pen Names

Have another pen name question:

I know how to indicate (on a manuscript) that a pen name is to be used. But if you write under a pen name, how is the work copyrighted?

If Jane Smith (her legal name) wants her novel to appear as:

The Story by Neville Sunderland,

how does the copyright notice inside read?

Copyright ©200x by Neville Sunderland
-or-
Copyright ©200x by Jane Smith

If it reads Neville Sunderland, is there some facility in the copyright law that points to Jane Smith for her protection, in case of (horrors) any litigation that may arrise?

Realizing that copyright law differs from country to country, I'm only interested in the U.S. Copyright Law. I also realize this question may have been answered somewhere before here, but I couldn't find it.

Re: Back to Pen Names

Quote:

If it reads Neville Sunderland, is there some facility in the copyright law that points to Jane Smith for her protection, in case of (horrors) any litigation that may arrise?
____________________________________________________

In the USA when you fill out the copyright form it has a place for your name and your pen name if you use one.

~~Tammy

Re: The Painted House

Look at a Richard Bachman's book. What does the copyright say? Is it Richard Bachman or Stephen King or some other enterprise?

Re: Back to Pen Names

Every copy I've ever seen has "Stephen King writing as Richard Bachman" in big letters on the front. I think that edition sold substantially more copies than the original one. I wouldn't be confident that you'd get a good result on this basis.

As an aside, under international copyright protocols I don't believe you need a copyright notice to get protection. Although I have seen text like "<xxx> has asserted his moral right to be identified as the author of this work," and I have no idea what exactly that achieves from a legal standpoint. I also don't know whether or not that's something uniquely British -- I also frequently see something similar ("The right of XXX to be identified as author of this work has been asserted in accordance with ss. 77 and 78 of the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988") which I know _is_ UK specific.

An interesting idea -- the book I just found that in is copyright to a company that is clearly owned by the author. Have you considered incorporating "(your pen name) LLC" ? There are potential downsides to this: I believe you'll only get copyright protection for 70 years, rather than until 70 years after you die... but 70 years ought to be long enough to make any profit you're going to; there may or may not be tax implications, I don't know anything about US tax law; there will _definitely_ be lots of paperwork.

Copyright

The problems with copyright tend to crop up after a writer's death.
If you use pen names you must have them very clearly identified with your legal name so that when you leave your copyrights to your family/ friends/whoever there can be no doubt that Bunny Muggins is also Funny Juggins and both are the pen names of Betty Smith. Make sure you have legal documents somewhere safe - like with your will - that prove your work written under those pen names is yours and then your heirs have no problems. This is true wherever you live.

Re: Analysing The Ingredients For A Real Page-Turner

Thanks Julie for the Revision checklist for my question a while back and Jim for your story (this is the kind of thing I'm trying to avoid, though I suspect the only way I'll find my "Final Revision Checklist" is by experience.) And yes, I need to read The Unstrung Harp

Now to the Grisham tales and this page turner question: "Does anyone want to take a whack at analysing those two excerpts in light of the breakout novel "page turner" checklist?"

I liked that both situations he set up had a multitude of possible directions to go. This grabbed my curiosity as a reader and had me thirsting for every little new clue that would tell me which scenerio the author has chosen. Each time he adds a new element some questions are answered but, depending upon the element, new questions are posed.

The Summons

What's in the letter?
What could be in a letter from a man like this?
What could be in a letter to his son?
What could it mean that this Judge is in Mississippi?

The Street Lawyer

Why is a bum in a commercial building?
Rubber Boots are they a clue?
Odor and appearance of a homeless person, why is a homeless person in a lawyer's elevator?
What could it mean that this is happening in D.C.?
Why is the bum ignoring him?
Why didn't the security guards stop him in the lobby?
Is the bum following him or is the lawyer just paranoid?
Surprise! Gunshots!
(I'm still trying to figure out what it was about the guy that hinted he may not be an ordinary bum.)
"Shut up!" .... composure. (He's not acting like a bum.)

Why is he here?
What does he want?
He's in control, so he has planned this, what events have brought him to this office?
Etc, etc.

Faye

Re: The Painted House

Good list, Faye. I think that's the thing about page turners: questions that the readers want to be answered. And not just any questions. The higher the stakes these questions pertain to, the better.

Sometimes I'm confused, though, about how much to hold back (to create that suspense) and how much to reveal. Sometimes my readers would ask me questions like: Who is she? Why did she say something like that? What is in the box? And when I say, "You'll find out if you read on," they'd roll their eyes and say I should explain it right there.

Is it that some people don't understand suspense and they're impatient when they have read on to "find out." Or is it because I wrote it poorly and didn't explain something enough?

Inanimate Objects

Help! I'm losing perspective. When is it appropriate to give an inanimate object control of the action?

Which of the following is acceptable?
The gun pressed into her ribs.
He pressed the gun into her ribs.:b :b

Re: The Painted House

Is it that some people don't understand suspense and they're impatient when they have read on to "find out." Or is it because I wrote it poorly and didn't explain something enough?

Click to expand...

I think it's hard to tell. Some readers aren't very sophisticated and will not want to be kept in a state of suspense. Because they know the work is not "finished" they'll try to make you change it to suit their momentary discomfort. A better reader will savor the suspense.

Then again, they may be genuinely confused to the point where they can't connect to the work. Their confusion prevents them from hitting their reader's trance.

But then, if this stuff was easy, I'd be able to do it.

Re: Analysing The Ingredients For A Real Page-Turner

Which of the following is acceptable?
The gun pressed into her ribs.
He pressed the gun into her ribs.

Click to expand...

I think #2 is 'correct' because a gun can't press itself into her ribs. In some situations, #1 could more accurately create the image you want, as in the person being focused on the physical sensation of the gun against her body, and not the person wielding it.

Re: The Painted House

Especially if the POV character can't see the person holding the gun.

Re: Inanimate Objects

In general, I'll pick a second choice, but as HConn mentioned, if the POV character (the woman) doesn't know who's holding the gun, the first choice is acceptable.

Re: Inanimate Objects

I think the solution to whether the gun presses or he presses it can't be decided by the choice of just these two sentences. It depends on how the scene is set up and who the POV character is:

Julie shrank back until she couldn't move any farther. She couldn't take her eyes from the gun in Jake's hand. Then he was there. His cheap aftershave lotion couldn't mask his foul breath. She looked up.

"Jake ... no ..."

"Nowhere to hide now, is there, Julie baby?" The door knob pressed into her back, the gun pressed into her ribs.

Click to expand...

or:

Handcock watched in horror as the thug approached his wife. In his hand was the Glock from the cabinet in the den.

"No, don't hurt her!"

"Shut up," the man said. "Another word from you and your wife won't see her the sun rise." He pressed the gun into her ribs.

Click to expand...

Re: Analysing The Ingredients For A Real Page-Turner

Good elaborations, Pthom. In each case, it's the POV character's emotional response to the circumstances that determines how the gun should be described.

Page Turners

Maestro

"Is it that some people don't understand suspense and they're impatient when they have read on to "find out." Or is it because I wrote it poorly and didn't explain something enough?"

This is a question all writer's must ask themselves at some time or another. I am beginning to think it's a question you want the editor to answer for you. If you're feeling like your piece of work has been honed and passed through beta readers enough and your gut says that this is the last question you're asking, then send it out and let the editors/agents tell you where to go next.

If you've reached this level in the writing, Maestro, congratulations! Do a victory dance! \/\/\/\/\/\/
(Sorry I can't use smileys right now)

Take Care,
Faye

Interesting Question

Julie

"Which of the following is acceptable?
The gun pressed into her ribs.
He pressed the gun into her ribs."

The first is passive in tone; the second is active.

If the assailant is confused and not in control the first may be a good choice. (He's distancing himself from the gun.)

If the assailant is asserting and controlling (like the man with the rubber boots above) then the second would be best.

Make sense?
Faye

Re: Inanimate Objects

For example, in your FIRST chapter, you introduce two characters. Because you're not giving their entire backstory, you are only letting the readers know about them through their interactions and dialogues. So far you let on:

1) they're lovers
2) one of them just killed someone
3) one is hiding a secret

So at this point, the readers are probably asking these questions:

1) who are they, and how did they meet, etc.?
2) who did he kill?
3) what is the secret?
4) why is she not telling him?
5) what is going to happen?

To me that's suspense. But sometimes you hear a comment from someone like "I don't understand this. So who is she?... " and question the author because they don't understand (for lack of backstory) why the two lovers act that way (with deceit) with each other.

In a way, it's like in real life. Some people love to hear the story as it's told and fill in the blanks on their own. Some like to ask all kind of background questions (What does she do? How did they meet? Age? Background? Etc.)

When you hear comments like that from your readers, do you:

1) congratulate yourself for creating suspense?
2) worry that they're so confused that they won't read on?
3) note their concerns and see if any of their questions are valid and if they ARE indeed answered (and not only until the END of the book)

For example, do you present the reason why one doesn't trust the other right off the beginning (that they have a trust issue because one has run out on the other before)? Or do you leave that as a suspense, then later reveal about the trust issue?

I ask these questions because suspense/page-turner is an interesting topic for me. People have said that at least the second 2/3 of my ms. is "suspenseful" but all the questions are answered at the end. I just wonder, is there a case when there's too much suspense that the readers would get turned off because they feel like they're in the dark all the time? Or when do you say, "What she does for a living is NOT important to the story."

I am often

frustrated with the --why did they do this, or when did they meet questions. If I told the whole story int he first chapter then why bother reading on.

I think some of the difference comes from reading for pleasure and beta reading. When we read for pleasure we read the book and enjoy it--(or not as the case may be) If we have questions we turn the page to get an answer. When we beta read or critique we note that, hey, I had a question here, or I wanted to know more about why this happened. So those questions are given to the writer--I wanted to know more in chapter one why they did this.

A general reader is going to have questions, if they didn't have unanswered questions then they would have no reason to read on--we just have to keep the difference in mind when we crit, beta read, or receive a crit.

Shawn

Re: Page Turners

I think it has to do with why people read suspense or mystery. There's the challenge of trying to figure it out. Also, the question of "honest" challenge comes into play. The author who whips out "the great-great-aunt Matilda" who really was the guy in the clown suit as the evil-doer irritates readers, IMHO.

Your ms

Maestro

You say "People have said that at least the second 2/3 of my ms. is "suspenseful" but all the questions are answered at the end."

Our discussion of page-turners here suggests that the first 1/3 ideally should be a page turner too. Are you concerned that yours is not? Are you throwing out the little tidbits that keep them asking more new questions? Is this what you are really concerned about? Is this what you think your beta readers may be trying to tell you? Is yours a suspense novel? Is your gut telling you it's not as good as it can be yet?

Faye

Re: Inanimate Objects

Faye,

I mean the first part was suspenseful enough too (questions that need answered, wondering what happens next to the protag, how the story unfolds, etc.) What I mean is that the plot turns in the second half are more unpredictable and the readers are more comfortable with the suspense elements by then (partially because they know the answers will be revealed sooner or later).

No, my story is not suspense/thriller/mystery. So it's actually quite interesting to hear someone say it's "suspenseful" and "not predictable" or "I didn't see that coming."

My questions come back to suspense in the beginning when people start asking "well, who is she? And when will we find out?"