Prologue
“Most agents hate prologues. Just make the first chapter relevant and well written."*Andrea Brown, Andrea Brown Literary Agency
On a dark and stormy night (a night that could be spent in pleasure),
"A cheesy hook drives me nuts. They say 'Open with a hook!' to grab the reader. That's true, but there's a fine line between an intriguing hook and one that's just silly. An example of a silly hook would be opening with a line of overtly sexual dialogue. Or opening with a hook that's just too convoluted to be truly interesting."*Daniel Lazar, Writers House
instead of in the kitchen of this spooky old house,
"Anything*cliché*such as ‘It was a dark and stormy night’ will turn me off” *Jennie Dunham, Dunham Literary*
I, gentle reader, being stranded in this old house in flight from the approaching storm ,
"I hate when a narrator or*author addresses the reader*(e.g., 'Gentle reader')."*Jennie Dunham, Dunham Literary
got lost in my reflection in the window. My wonderful chest,
Some things that drive me frantic include The Character Describes Himself By Looking in a [mirror/puddle/polished wood on the top of the bar] and Describing What He Sees. This goes double if the character is female and goes on to a complete and loving description of her breasts.” James MacDonald
dark eyes, thin waist, stripes,
"I hate seeing a 'run-down list:' Names, hair color, eye color, height, even weight sometimes.* Other things that bother me is over-describing the scenery or area where the story starts.* Usually a manuscript can lose the first 3-5 chapters and start there.*Miriam Hees (editor), Blooming Tree Press
my zig-zag shaped antennas.
"Slow writing with a lot of description puts me off very quickly. I like a first chapter that moves quickly and draws me in so I'm immediately hooked."*Andrea Hurst, Andrea Hurst Literary Management
My parents didn’t call me “Izzy” for nothing. I was a bee, and proud of it.
"I’m really turned off by a protagonist named Isabelle who goes by 'Izzy.' No. Really. I am."*Stephany Evans, FinePrint Literary Management.
But let me tell you this, dear reader:
“I recently read a ms when the second line was something like, 'Let me tell you this, Dear Reader...' What do you think of that?"*Sheree Bykofsky, Sheree Bykofsky Literary
I am not a fan of self reflection, (although a few lingering moments might be forgiven)
I’m also usually not a fan of prologues, preferring to find myself in the midst of a moving plot on page 1 rather than being kept outside of it, or eased into it."*Michelle Andelman, Andrea Brown Literary Agency
no matter what shape or form I take on. My name is Isabell,
"I don't like an opening line that's 'My name is...,' introducing the narrator to the reader so blatantly. I might be prompted to groan before reading on a bit further to see if the narration gets any less stale. There are far better ways in Chapter 1 to establish an instant connection between narrator and reader.*Michelle Andelman, Andrea Brown Literary Agency
and I am a selfless liberal and eco warrior, a mutant.
I don't like having a character immediately tell me how much he/she hates the world for whatever reason.* In other words, tell me your issues on politics, the environment, etc. through your character.* That is a real turn off to me."*Miriam Hees (editor), Blooming Tree Press
Nobody will ever know of the great battles that I fight against the other races.
"I know this may sound obvious, but too much 'telling' vs. 'showing' in the first chapter is a definite warning sign for me – the first chapter should present a compelling scene, not a road map for the rest of the book. The goal is to make the reader curious about your characters, fill their heads with questions that must be answered, not fill them in on exactly where, when, who and how.* Don’t ever describe eye color either..."*Emily Sylvan Kim, Prospect Agency
I sighed and looked out of the window. I didn’t know what else to do.
"Characters that are moving around doing little things, but essentially nothing.*Washing dishes & thinking, staring out the window & thinking, tying shoes, thinking ... Authors often do this to transmit information, but the result is action in a literal sense but no real energy in a*narrative sense. The best rule of thumb is always to start the story where the story starts."*Dan Lazar, Writers House
I looked into the darkness at the clouds and listened to the stormy wind,
"Avoid any description of the weather."*Denise Marcil, Denise Marcil Literary Agency
when suddenly, I woke up.
Long prologues that often don't have anything to do with the story. So common in Fantasy again.* Opening scenes that our all dialogue without any context. I could probably go on..."*Kristin Nelson, Nelson Literary
Chapter 1
It had all been a dream. I had dreamed I was a bee.
"I dislike opening scenes that you think are real (I rep adult genre fiction), then the protagonist wakes up. It makes me feel cheated.* And so many writers use this hackneyed device.*Laurie McLean, Larsen/Pomada Literary Agents
I shook my head. I didn’t understand this reincarnation (I would find that out later)
I also hate when an author starts something and then says '(the main character) would find out later.'**Cherry Weiner, Cherry Weiner Literay
Shaking my head made it hurt. I remembered the long night in the metro bars
"I do in fact hate it when someone wakes up from a dream in Chapter 1,*Michelle Brower, Wendy Sherman Associates.
and squinted into the sunlight of the three suns over Omega462.
Squinting into the sunlight with a hangover in a crime novel. Good grief -- been done a million times.*Chip MacGregor, MacGregor Literary
The landscape was sort of like a desert on earth. Red dust was swirling.
A sci-fi novel that spends the first two pages describing the strange landscape.*Chip MacGregor, MacGregor Literary
The sky was blue and cloudless.
'The Weather' is always a problem” Elizabeth Pomada, Larsen-Pomada Literary Agents
Suddenly, I heard the swords. I turned and realized that I was in battle. I had been knocked out by the monk. I had liked him initially.
I dislike lengthy paragraphs of world building and scene setting up front.* I usually crave action close to the beginning of the book (and so do readers)."*Laurie McLean, Larsen/Pomada Literary Agents*
We used to gather herbs together, we even peed side by side, and now, he tried to kill me.
"Here are things I can't stand: Cliché openings in Fantasy can include an opening scene set in a battle (and my peeve is that I don't know any of the characters yet so why should I care about this battle) or with a pastoral scene where the protagonist is gathering herbs (I didn't realize how common this is).* Opening chapters where a main protagonist is in the middle of a bodily function (jerking off, vomiting, peeing, or what have you) is usually a firm NO right from the get-go. Gross.*Kristin Nelson, Nelson Literary*
As the sword of the monk cut through me, I suddenly understood the dream. I would be a bee in my next incarnation.
"I don't like it when the main character dies at the end of Chapter 1. Why did I just spend all this time with this character? I feel cheated."*Cricket Freeman, The August Agency
As the monk leaned over the body of the woman, he hardly knew,
"Sometimes a reasonably good writer will create an interesting character and describe him in a compelling way, but then he’ll turn out to be some unimportant bit player.*Ellen Pepus, Ellen Pepus Literary Agency*
he felt nothing. He reflected about their moments together. He throught fondly of the voluptuous, precious herbs, but she left no impression on his inner self.
"I hate reading purple prose, taking the time to set up-- to describe something so beautifully and that has nothing to do with the actual story.*Cherry Weiner, Cherry Weiner Litera
Suddenly he was tired of fighting. He retreated to meditate.
and I dislike an overly long prologue.* The worst thing that you can do is let that crucial chapter be boring - that’s the chapter that has to grab my interest!"*Michelle Brower, Wendy Sherman Associates
But as he was sitting in his cell, all he thought about was sex and violence
I hate gratuitous sex and violence anywhere in the manuscript.* If it is not crucial to the story then I don't want to see it in there, in any chapters."*Cherry Weiner, Cherry Weiner Literay
He replayed the rape of the village girl in the chapel by his brothers.
A rape scene in a Christian novel, especially in the first chapter.*Chip MacGregor, MacGregor Literary
“You go girl”, they had said.
A trite statement ("Get with the program" or "Houston, we have a problem" or "You go girl" or "Earth to Michael" or "Are we all on the same page?"), said by a weenie sales guy, usually in the opening paragraph.*Chip MacGregor, MacGregor Literary
“Are we all on the same page?” he wondered. He didn’t think he would see this as he came from his small town, to attend his uncle's funeral. It had started with the phonecall, then the hunchback who had been lurking in the shadows of the columns planted the bomb, and war began.
Other annoying, unoriginal things I see too often: some young person going home to a small town for a funeral, someone getting a phone call about a death, a description of a psycho lurking in the shadows, or a terrorist planting a bomb."Ellen Pepus, Ellen Pepus Literary Agency*
And now, the glittering, flickering sun rose in the hostile, hazy sky, shedding its fearful light across the deserted, crumbled, broken land.
*"The [adjective] [adjective] sun rose in the [adjective] [adjective] sky, shedding its [adjective] light across the [adjective] [adjective] [adjective] land."*Chip MacGregor, MacGregor Literary
Years later, he would look back and laugh but, here and then, life was kind of hard.
'Years later, Monica would look back and laugh...'*Chip MacGregor, MacGregor Literary
