I'm lethargic and out of sorts...

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...but not depressed. I know what that feels like. I'm just blue.

I know why, I can't do anything about it, so I'll just have to wait til it passes.

So I thought I'd see if fellow AWs could do their party tricks to raise a smile. :D

Yup yup yup, it's one of those, "I'm t!tted off about something, cheer me up!" threads.
 

poetinahat

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Okay, dear Scarlet, prepare yourself for the most beautiful armpit ocarina rendition of "Every Breath You Take" you're ever likely to hear.

Ann-a one,ann-a two...

pblp-pblp pbbbblllhp plbbhp plbhhbmpblllbbbhppppp...
 

Maryn

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Well, let's see.

I like your new avatar picture. There's something Lauren Bacall-ish about those eyes--like they know something and see right through you.

Okay, that wasn't exactly cheery, just an observation. We need overt humor! (Maryn opens the file labeled HUMOR.) Ah, here we go.

The Twenty Least-Popular Smurfs

Soccer Hooligan Smurf

Heartbreak of Psoriasis Smurf

Anthrax Mailer Smurf

Goth-Poser Smurf

NAMBLA Chapter President Smurf

Painful Rectal Itchy Smurf

Sleeps-With-All-Your-Friends Smurfette

Smurfed Out of His #$%@ing Mind Smurf

L. Ron Smurf, author of "Smurfanetics"

Frequently Reassigned Priest Smurf

Smegma Smurf

Cop-Taunting Shirtless Smurf

Near-Suicidal Former Child Actor Smurf

Fey Magician Smurf

Constant Unfulfilled Promises of Oral Sex Smurf

Nick Nolte Mug Shot Smurf

Teenage Angst-Ridden Loner with a Penchant for Firearms Smurf

Grammar Nazi Smurf

White Middle-Class Mall Rat Trying to Act All Black Smurf

and the Number 1 Least-Loved Smurf...

Testicles-Big-as-Your-Head Smurf

Maryn, noting your pretty smile
 
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Yup, that did it. Anything rectal makes me laugh. :D

You'll note between the time I started this thread and now, my hair got longer and blonder. Thus appears the hairdo I got on Thursday.
 

poetinahat

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Holy Moses. If Maryn hasn't done the trick, you're beyond hope. I'm all cheered up now after you slammed my adopted people.

Excuse me while I just go somewhere to laugh a while.

Oh, and don't touch the ocarina while I'm gone. It's a Sagittarivarius, for people who like fiddling with astrology.
 
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Dear God! :O

The next time I get a boyfriend, if he tries the old, "It'll cure your hiccups if you let me," line...
 

aadams73

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No kidding. Last night night my dog had hiccups, and my husband said to her, "mommy has a new cure for your hiccups." Bastard.
 

poetinahat

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Thanks, all of you, for confirming a bit of speculation:

Women's dirty jokes are *way* dirtier than men's dirty jokes. My spies from the Gay Intelligence were correct.
 
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No one's allowed to be happy in this thread, poet. At least until I say so.

I need chocolate.
 

aadams73

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Shhh...don't tell anyone.

(I recall a time in college when I painted a mental picture so gross that my male friends couldn't finish their lunch)
 

TeddyG

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Poet...you are surprised by the ole 73 and her sense of humor?
Hah! I dont even want to allude to what she was talking about in the wine thread.....my virgin ears could not take it again.

Now scarlet....
in good ole Teddy style....

VA VA VOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM
VROOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM
if that av is you....i am so drooling!

(shuddup aadams...shuddup...no comments from the peanut gallery)
 
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Yes it is me. :D

A 'friend' threatened to give me a Frisco Wristwatch on the strength of seeing my new 'do'.
 

aadams73

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A Frisco Wristwatch? Please, oh please, tell me that is nothing like a Dirty Sanchez or a Donkey Punch.
 

aadams73

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TeddyG said:
Poet...you are surprised by the ole 73 and her sense of humor?
Hah! I dont even want to allude to what she was talking about in the wine thread.....my virgin ears could not take it again.

HA! I am a sweet and clean-minded woman. And I couldn't even type that with a straight face.
 
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aadams73 said:
A Frisco Wristwatch? Please, oh please, tell me that is nothing like a Dirty Sanchez or a Donkey Punch.

Ask yourself what Frisco is famous for - along with Sydney, Amsterdam and various other places.

Then think, "Right up to the wristwatch, baby."

And cringe.
 

aadams73

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scarletpeaches said:
Ask yourself what Frisco is famous for - along with Sydney, Amsterdam and various other places.

Then think, "Right up to the wristwatch, baby."

And cringe.

Ouch!!!

Gawd, I hope you said no.
 

poetinahat

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Um, your 'friend' isn't Flavor Flav, by any chance?
 

jst5150

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No one's mentioned the 'Cleveland Steamer'?

Wow. How'd we get his far without that?

Or maybe, for Scarlet, the reason why the Allman Brothers album is called "Eat a Peach."

Elvin warrior poem calls ...
 
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aadams73 said:
Ouch!!!

Gawd, I hope you said no.

Damn straight.

And poet - no he isn't, but I wouldn't even if he was.

Joaquin Phoenix on the other hand...

D'y'know, said 'friend' phoned me while I was watching Gladiator last night. He. Must. Be. Punished.
 
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jst5150 said:
No one's mentioned the 'Cleveland Steamer'?

Wow. How'd we get his far without that?

Or maybe, for Scarlet, the reason why the Allman Brothers album is called "Eat a Peach."

Elvin warrior poem calls ...

Explain.
 

aadams73

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jst5150 said:
No one's mentioned the 'Cleveland Steamer'?

Or maybe, for Scarlet, the reason why the Allman Brothers album is called "Eat a Peach."

:D

This thread went south fast. Which is what Scarlet wanted.
 
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