At first I thought candy was a metaphore.
Candy is for squirreling away, not displaying.
Wait, now is it a metaphor?
Are you sure she was 27 and not, maybe, 7?
*backpedals out of cube. squints down grey-on-grey-on-grey hall*
She might be 87. Everything in here kind of blends together.
Hallmark probably makes a "heard about your audit" card. I'd go ahead and ship one their way. I'm all about passive aggressive action.
Oh, that'd be perfect.
On the front, there will be a picture of a person making a sympathetic face, and it will say "I heard about your audit..."
and then when you open it, it plays cackling laughter, then bursts into flames.
It's one of those multi-media cards.