Hello everyone,
I already know the answer to my question (the author has penned a lot of non-fiction books), but just wanted to bring this issue to everyone's attention. I'm talking about "Suspect" the first book of Michael Robotham fiction. While we are taught by almost everyone to start the story with a catchy line, to grasp the reader's attention and all the good advice, read for yourself to see how this story starts...
Personally, I agree. It didn't grab me, and I found the opening kind of awkward. But then I'm notoriously picky, so I don't know. I've also never heard of this guy before and have no idea what else he writes, so I'm kind of a blank slate there.
Here are my thoughts...
From the pitched slate roof of the Royal Marsden Hospital, if you look
This was awkward to me...the "from" needs a verb before it, like "Peering from" or "Standing on" instead of just an ambiguous preposition. between the chimney pots and TV aerials, you see more chimney pots and TV aerials. It's like that scene from
Mary Poppins where all the chimney sweeps dance across the rooftops twirling their brooms.
I thought the reference was a bit of a cheap way to get by with description without having to describe anything; it's a major turn-off for me to get that kind of thing this early, but that may be just me...
From up here I can just see the dome of the Royal Albert Hall. On a clear day I could probably see all the way to Hampstead Heath, although I doubt if the air in London ever gets that clear.
Nothing wrong here.
Just my opinion. I'm not all that into thrillers, and don't care if there's immediate action or not. But like I said, I'm notoriously picky as far as style goes.
ETA: I read more of the excerpt, and I liked the rest of it better. Personally, I'd just lose the very first paragraph and call it a day.
