Exactly. Politics and civil society are polar opposites; each can gain only at the other's expense. One is about control, the other about free choice. People who don't like barbeque can always order a pizza, or bring a salad. Nobody forces them to eat what the majority chose, or second-guesses what they choose to put on their plate. Run your next party like FedGov and see how that goes over.
I don't see how politics and civil society can be separated. Its the same realm of discourse. All societies are about control and all of politics is as much about inclusion and mobilization as it is about control.