How do you talk about a curse?

soapdish · Feb 15, 2009

I can’t seem to find a way to word the following that doesn’t sound awkward to me.

I have started out with a simple: I was cursed.

This sounds fine to me. But when I go on to talk later about the “curse”, I can’t seem to phrase it right.

I am trying to demonstrate the first time the curse comes into action and I have said:

“This was the first time the curse struck.” Ugh, that sounds terrible to me. Is that right? Do curses strike? Is that even the right verb?

It doesn’t sound right to me, but I can’t seem to phrase it any other way. I think I am too tired of staring at the damn word on my screen now….

Help from someone in a genre that uses curses would be greatly appreciated. (or from anyone as well.)

alleycat · Feb 15, 2009

Maybe . . . "This was the first time I was affected by the curse."

"the curse struck" sounds awful to me as well. Maybe "This was the first time I was struck by the curse". Maybe.

Kathleen42 · Feb 15, 2009

soapdish said:
“This was the first time the curse struck.” Ugh, that sounds terrible to me. Is that right? Do curses strike? Is that even the right verb?

This is going to sound sarcastic but it's not meant to be. I wonder if part of the reason it sounds odd is that menstruation is sometimes referred to as "the curse".

Then again, I may just have watched that Gingersnaps movie one too many times.

Sadly, I have no suggestions.

Matera the Mad · Feb 15, 2009

Yes, curses strike. They have been known to hang over characters' heads, blight their lives, and anything else negative you can think of. But their effects can be referred to without speaking of the curse as an active agent. Occasional use of synonyms might be good too. Evil affliction, malediction, nemesis, bla bla, just to keep from overusing one word. I have a character who believes that he is cursed, but I don't use the actual word much.

GregB · Feb 15, 2009

If you're writing in first person, consider personifying it. Your character has presumably been living with it for a while, so this might be a natural thing to do. People who talk about their chronic illnesses and disabilities do this all the time.

Otherwise, just put some voice into it. That's one of the great advantages of first person POV.

"The first time the curse bent me over, I was..."

2Wheels · Feb 15, 2009

What about something like "the first time the curse made its presence known to me ...." or "the first time the curse exerted its unwelcome effects ..."

soapdish · Feb 15, 2009

part of the reason it sounds odd is that menstruation is sometimes referred to as "the curse".

No you are totally right.

That could be part of it.

Maybe I should just skip saying the “curse struck” and just show the curse in action and hope it all makes sense.

If you're writing in first person, consider personifying it

That makes exellent sense, and I like your example--thank you.

I at least want to bring the notion of the curse in again at the end because it is in the very opening and I am going for a bookend sort of thing.

I had hoped to wrap it up with something to the effect of : "I deserved the curse, the one I presumably still have, though I am not really sure because it never struck again."

But GOD! That sounds awful too!

Maybe if I personify it it will start to clear up.

scratchingcat · Feb 15, 2009

How about: I was minding my own business and then it happened.

Followed by exactly what happened when that particular curse struck the protagonist.

Darzian · Feb 16, 2009

soapdish said:
“This was the first time the curse struck.” Ugh, that sounds terrible to me. Is that right? Do curses strike? Is that even the right verb?

The deadly power of the curse was revealed to me at that moment.

?

Or something similar.

I second the personalization idea. It may even be better to call the curse 'it.'

soapdish · Feb 16, 2009

Ooh "it", that actually might work well...
Simple, but maybe it will get the point across.
Thanks for all the great suggestions! : )

DeleyanLee · Feb 16, 2009

What occurs to me is to show what happened and then have it identified as the curse.

That ol' Show Not Tell thing, y'know.

How do you talk about a curse?

soapdish

writing

alleycat

Still around

Kathleen42

crushing on fictional characters

Matera the Mad

Bartender, gimme a Linux Mint

GregB

practical experience, FTW

2Wheels

Anachronista

soapdish

writing

scratchingcat

Darzian

To-to-to-ron-to

soapdish

writing

DeleyanLee

Writing Anarchist