Teens Writing for Teens, the 5th

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lvae

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Hi guys! :) I've been MIA for a while... how have things been going?
Adding to the soundtrack convo - I love listening to Hans Zimmer soundtracks. They always sound so epic, and they're always so easy to find in the library. The Batman theme in particular is one of my favourites.

ETA: lol zoom!
 

micahcannibal

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I need opinions on my story Hell and how to do chapter one.

I have two ways I can do it but I am not sure so I want the opinions of you guys :)

Basically there are two ways to draw the readers into wanting to know the mystery of what happened and what is going to happen.

Idea A:

Start of with a short narriation.
Before that night, my biggest fear was someone discovering I was gay and having a relationship with the most popular boy at our Private school.

After that night, that wasn't my biggest fear.

I feared for my life...and the lives of my family and friends.

Life changed for us in Harmony on 11/11/11 at 11:11 pm.

I remembered that i had been with Kyle that night. I had planned to lose my virginity but i wound up getting my heartbroken. The last words i remember before i blacked out were...I don't love you.

A young boy was ready to take his life...He stood in the room with the gun in his mouth, finger on the trigger...ready to blow his brains out right there on the floor...But he blacked out.

A group of boys were partying it up and drinking underage, heading home when they hit a young boy and proceeded to drive away without calling for help...as he laid dying and watching them leave...he blacked out...they blacked out.

The blackouts were all connected...and when we woke up, our parents...our teachers...the leaders were gone...Internet was not working....Phones were not working.

Life forever changed that night....and it was only the beginning.


This would be the prologue and then Chapter one will start telling the story of what happens when the characters awoke and how they handle everything.
This basically jumps right into the action but it doesn't give you a chance to really get to know the characters fully BEFORE the action happens(the supernatural pwoers and the social issues, and the creature)


OR

Idea B

No prologue

A chapter needs a beginning, middle, and end(ABC FORMAT)
Instead i'd start the chapter with CAB fomat(End, Beginning, Middle)

SO i'd start Chapter one with the Ending--- this would make the reader want to know how and why the hell this happened.

I.e. The Chapter would begin with the characters awaking from the blackout....discovering the horror of their family being missing

The middle of the chapter would actually be the beginning aka the present(What the characters were doing PRIOR to the Blackout...I.e. the suidal character was considering how he was goign to kill himself)

and the end of the chapter would be the middle of the chapter(basically leading into the eclipse and the blackouts, thus explaining what happened in the beginning of the chapter).

This basically allows you to Get to know the characters however this could potentially be harder to grasp the readers attention in the first chapter because I am spending the chapter setting up introductions for the characters and action doesn't appear until towards the end of the chapter.



So which do you guys like?
Idea A or Idea B?
and any suggestions for whichever one you like?

And if you have a different suggestion as to how to start the story off, then
by all means let me know.
 
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Taylor_Writes

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Half of My Heart sort of fits my MC. Well, some of the lyrics do.
 

KarlaErikaCal

YA romance writer in love with love
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Micah - To be completely honest, I'm not sure I like either. I'd avoid a prologue because a lot of agents and editors don't like them and yours, I think, is too tell-y. And I feel like the second one would confuse readers.
 

MargoWest

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Micah, I see what you're getting at - if you do that, I'd suggest picking the most shocking point of your book, starting with a line or two describing it, then backing up and having the characters show how they got there.
 

lvae

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I can't see most people's avatars right now :(
Micah, try start with action, maybe in the middle of a scene where your mc is forced to deal with a problem arising from his circumstances. It's hard to pull a reflective first page IMO. Starting with action is more attention catching
 

Marzipan

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I almost remember her old-old avatar. Almost lol

Soooo my Mother-in-law is beta reading for me and I'm happy because she likes it. She has a masters in English and reads a lot of YA.
 

Taylor_Writes

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Nice...

I'm wondering two things...

1) What on earth could the school be guarding that is very important and blah blah blah?

2) If I made a wozarding sport that involved broomsticks, would it be too similar to Quidditch? She won't be joining the first year, but the second year, probably.

Aye... I don't know who to spell the rest.
 

KarlaErikaCal

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Haha OHHH okay lol

Kidd, I don't even remember my old, old avvie. I have had a couple lol
 

KarlaErikaCal

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Kidd - Is it for Grimace? And that's cool she likes YA :D
 

Marzipan

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Karla: Yep. For Grimace. I'm REALLY ready to query that puppy, i've been working on it for years now but it's very close to being finished.




Lol. If I thought about it long enough I would remember what it was. It was before your user name changed so A LONNNNG time ago.

Poll: Would you know what Extacy looked like if you saw it Yes or No. Could you personally mistake it for candy? Yes or No.

My MC takes Extacy when it is offered to her at a party because she mistakes it for a sweet tart. I was curious if any of you weren't familiar with what it looks like to find out how realistic that part of the scene would be.
 

Taylor_Writes

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I always thought it was spelled ecstasy. Hah.

No, I don't think I would recognize it. Well, I can't remember. It's been a while since I did. D.A.R.E.

But I know to never candy from strangers X]
 

Marzipan

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That is the problem. He isn't a stranger XD

It's spelled 'extacy' when referring to the drug and 'ecstasy' when referring to the state of being.
 

KarlaErikaCal

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The spelling of the drug is technically ecstacy. I think people have certain spellings/nicknames.
 

KarlaErikaCal

YA romance writer in love with love
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I think most people vanish without saying anything.
 

Marzipan

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Take a bath.

When I'm really stuck I just hop in the tub and take a hot bath, 80% of the time I can usually work out what I need to do with a story/chapter/scene.


Speaking of which. I need one. BBL
 
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