Being yanked further and further down the rabbit hole

Hapax Legomenon · Feb 13, 2014

I do not have the problem of not wanting to write. I'm extremely prolific. However, I do have a problem.

Every single time I finish a rough draft, I decide to start it again from scratch. The explanation is that "Oh I didn't know what I was doing this time. Now I know what I'm doing." My current WIP is a better, or at least more interesting, I think, version of something I wrote last fall -- however many elements are completely changed and I don't think anything is recognizeable aside from the names and some of the characterizations. However, this version does have a plot, unlike the other one.

As I'm writing, I'm realizing that half of what I've already written will need to be cut. If I actually get to 100,000 words, I'll be left with about 50,000 that's actually useable, and that's way too short for the genre. It's really, really unmotivating to know that nearly a majority of what I've written and what I'm going to write will have to be deleted, and after all that, I'm just not going to use the entire thing, and decide to start over again.

I don't know what to do. "Keep writing" is not good enough anymore.

Deleted member 42 · Feb 13, 2014

Consider revising rather than starting from scratch.

Hapax Legomenon · Feb 13, 2014

That doesn't really help when you know what you've written has no potential whatsoever.

summontherats · Feb 13, 2014

I have done this so many times. I finish a manuscript, decide it's awful, and then come up with a plan to rewrite it. I've rewritten about 2... maybe 3 novels this way?

I was planning to do it again. My WIP wasn't getting agent attention, so I came up with a plan to rewrite 1/2 of it, change the villain, remove one character entirely, and redo the ending.

The only thing that stopped me was a new beta. I waited until he was done and dumped my master plan on him. He just stared and said, "If you want to write a new story, write a new one."

He was very thorough, very aggressive with his edits, but it mostly came down to clarifying the theme and straightening out the beginning. Certainly not the huge overhaul I had planned.

So maybe outside opinions will help you keep perspective?

Hapax Legomenon · Feb 13, 2014

I feel like inflicting my work on an outsider is unfair to them...

Antonin · Feb 18, 2014

Haphazard said:
I feel like inflicting my work on an outsider is unfair to them...

Nah, not if they know what they're getting into.

There's a chance that you might be acting too hard on yourself.

Fruitbat · Feb 18, 2014

Haphazard said:
I do not have the problem of not wanting to write. I'm extremely prolific. However, I do have a problem.

Every single time I finish a rough draft, I decide to start it again from scratch. The explanation is that "Oh I didn't know what I was doing this time. Now I know what I'm doing." My current WIP is a better, or at least more interesting, I think, version of something I wrote last fall -- however many elements are completely changed and I don't think anything is recognizeable aside from the names and some of the characterizations. However, this version does have a plot, unlike the other one.

As I'm writing, I'm realizing that half of what I've already written will need to be cut. If I actually get to 100,000 words, I'll be left with about 50,000 that's actually useable, and that's way too short for the genre. It's really, really unmotivating to know that nearly a majority of what I've written and what I'm going to write will have to be deleted, and after all that, I'm just not going to use the entire thing, and decide to start over again.

I don't know what to do. "Keep writing" is not good enough anymore.

Writing fiction well is hard. People think that just because they "wrote" all through school that they should be able to write publishable stories and novels right away. But really it takes years to master the craft.

I think there are a few things that help build skills, and writing more is one of them. Also, participating heavily in the critique process, both giving and receiving. Studying different aspects of fiction writing, through classes or how-to books. Reading in your chosen genre. And, if possible, volunteer as a reader at a magazine or as a judge in amateur contests- become familiar with the slush piles and see what sinks and what stands out through an editor's eyes.

When you look at things you wrote a few months ago and the latest attempt was better, that means you're making progress.

Hapax Legomenon · Feb 18, 2014

Yeah after seven years of that I haven't gotten any better so...

Lauram6123 · Feb 18, 2014

Haphazard said:
Yeah after seven years of that I haven't gotten any better so...

My heart aches for you...you sound so down.

Think about it this way. Tarantino or Scorsese shoot hours of film with no intention of using it in the final cut. The story is found in the editing room. I think writing a novel can be much the same way. That's why Hemingway said write drunk and edit sober. Just let it flow and don't be afraid to junk whatever doesn't work.

That being said, I've gone through my own bouts of "what's the point" so I understand what your feeling.

For me, reading books about writing and beta reading have really proven to be inspiring.

Critiquing other people's prose, storylines, and characters have given me a new perception of my own work that has really proven to be valuable and inspiring.

Hapax Legomenon · Feb 18, 2014

I don't think I have anything of value to add to anything I edit... my input is just worthless, pretty much.

mccardey · Feb 18, 2014

Haphazard said:
I don't think I have anything of value to add to anything I edit... my input is just worthless, pretty much.

Goodness, somebody needs a hug. :Hug2:

ETA: I sent a PM. It also has a hug. Just warning you.

summontherats · Feb 19, 2014

Haphazard said:
I don't think I have anything of value to add to anything I edit... my input is just worthless, pretty much.

Then it's time to look at why you feel that way. The problem isn't your writing right now.

When you're depressed, everything seems pointless. All you can think are thoughts that make you feel worse--that you have no potential, that you've never improved, that your stuff isn't worth editing or reading or fixing. It's highly unlikely that most of that is even slightly true. But of course, you don't think that when you're sad. You just tell yourself that you're the only person on earth who can never get better, and that's reason to be even more depressed. And then you tell yourself that you're being brutally honest--because being honest about your faults is good!--and you beat yourself down farther.

Just remember, that's sadness talking, and it's only saying things that will cut the deepest.

Try reading something like Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy. (I'm mentioning this one in particular because I read it last year, when I was terribly sad, and I found it extremely informative.) Or do some self-analysis and figure out what you need. No one can write if all they feel is shame and self-loathing.

Being yanked further and further down the rabbit hole

Hapax Legomenon

Deleted member 42

Hapax Legomenon

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Hapax Legomenon

Antonin

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Hapax Legomenon

Lauram6123

Hapax Legomenon

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