I am a newbie

Man, that's so freaky. I went to Abertay University as well - I graduated in 2003, Ba Hons Computer Arts. I thought for a mad second you were gonna be on the same course which would have weirded me out a little too much.

Anyway, welcome. Sure you'll enjoy yourself here. Unfortunately I'm just about to log off because I'm out of town for the next few days so won't be able to read your work until I get back. I see you've found the Share Your Work section so hopefully you'll get some responses in the meantime and I'll say hi again once I get back.

Best advice until then is to just read as many scripts as you can find.

nathanpayne said:

Hello,

I am a newbie who wants to know how to write a good script. I have my first draft of my introduction completed (download here) and I in all honesty like it but don't think it is of a good standard. I just want to know how to make the dialogue flow better and also anything else that you think is useful for me to know then please reply.

Thank you all in advance.
Nathan P.

Click to expand...

Okay, I checked out just the first page of what you linked to and I can tell you this right off the bat:

There is a universal standard format for screenplays. There are many dedicated screenwriting programs that have that format already built in. Some you can buy. Some you can download for free.

I think there's a link somewhere on this site that can give you that info. If not, a web search can easily take you to that info.

You must learn and use standard format.

Second, a very common error that beginners engage in is what is known as "directing on the page" -- you're committing that crime big time.

Don't describe shots. Don't describe camera moves, except in the very rare circumstances where such things are essential for some critical story reason (say a camera move or something is going to conceal or reveal the identify of some key previously concealed character).

Otherwise, just describe what's happening and do it in a way that is both concise and vivid. The general rule is that no block of text should be much more than five lines long.

Draw us into the events of the story quickly. Involve us in what is happening. Don't start talking about cameras moving here, revealing this, you hear something off screen.

You want to give the reader the *impression* that he is watching the movie in his head -- but it is futile effort to attempt to overload a screenplay with "pan left, zoom in" kinds of descriptions in the hopes of micro-managing how the final image is going to appear on the screen.

All that accomplishes is to make for a difficult and a clumsy read.

So -- get the format down. No directing on the page. When you've done that, then you'll be in a better position to deal with your larger story and dialogue issues.

NMS

Read scripts, a lot of them, study them, get a free script writing program, buy a book on script writing if you want to, there are plenty recommended around here.

Then practice, practice, practice, all the while reading and studying, post your work on the Share Your Work section of this forum, no more than ten pages, and work and rework your stuff. It's hard work, it's a different animal than any other form of writing but closer to playwriting stuff. It can be a lot of fun and it gets you to think of stories in a different way. It isn't a get rich quick kind of deal, as with any writing, the chances of getting paid for your work are extremely slim. The harder you work and truly improve your writing the better chances you'll have which still suck.

It can be done but it isn't a cake walk.

Good luck.

Welcome and enjoy.

Wow. Lots of problems. Nothing that can't be fixed.

First, get yourself a script format book, because even if you down load the free software that gives you the format, you still need to udnerstand what it is you are doing when you use it.
"The Complete Guide to Standard Script Formats" is the one I started with and I'm willing to bet it is still the best one.

In your formatting right now, you are mixing up play formatting and screenplay formatting. They are different. And screenplay formatting is very exacting.

There isn't room or time to go through all of the rules and format requirements here, but once you learn it, formatting is in and of itself farily simple.

Right now, you are mashing you scenes together and not doing your scene breaks and title slug properly. Forget scene numbers for now. You don't need them inthe writing draft. That's for production.

You can't tell us in the action description what someone is saying. "...seems to be telling the viewers..." "...the boy claims that he has barricaded himself...."

There is no use in telling us what someone is thinking. If we can't see it or hear it we can't know it. "...Thinking that it is just some movie..."

EXample of directing:

Your last pharagraph. (Among others)

Both men run up the stairs.

THE BACK DOOR. Heavy, hard BANGING. The door jam splinters. BANG!

The lock breaks and the door flies open.

THE WINDOW MAN stumbles in. Grunts loudly.

Forget about the credits. Tell you story. That's it for now.