Learn Writing with Uncle Jim, Volume 1

Re: synopsis

Uncle Jim wrote:

Think you can add that material in one paragraph in the Chapter One part of the synopsis?

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Maybe. It would be a structural stretch, because Chapter One takes place in a different setting than the rest of the book, and only introduces one of the characters. Perhaps one paragraph just before Chapter One would be just right.

And Jeffspock wrote:

Typo: Page 15, first line, "Teh centaurs" instead of "The centaurs"

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Thanks! So people are actually reading the thing. Wow. >8->


Have Fun,
- Steve Eley

Re: Synopsis - length thereof

pianoman5 wrote:

In my experience, the recommended length of a synopsis is extremely variable, and is determined solely by the party asking for it.
...
A 10 page single spaced document, in my view, is not a synopsis - it's more like an outline.

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I see. If you ever ask me for a synopsis, I'll be sure to keep it short. >8->

From what I've seen the two terms are used fairly interchangeably. In writing this thing, which is specifically going to be used to query Tor and in response to anyone else who asks for three-chapters-and-an-outline, I took my cue from Donald Maass's book The Career Novelist. He was pretty ambiguous about length too: IIRC, his advice was "Five pages is probably too short, and fifty pages is probably too long."


Have Fun,
- Steve Eley

Re: synopsis

Thanks! So people are actually reading the thing. Wow. >8->

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Of course! You had me on tenterhooks as to what happened next. You'll have to tell the board when you get it published.

Another tiny typo for you: on page 5, second paragraph, you have "Sitter claims that intererence" when presumably you mean "Sitter claims that interference".

Re: synopsis

This is more a chapter by chapter synopsis, which is nice to have. However, some publishers want a more "general," narrative synopsis that is 2-10 pages long.

synopsis

<blockquote><strong><em>Quote:</em></strong><hr>Jode is awkard with attraction for her<hr></blockquote>

Found a typo in chapter 16, assuming the intended word is 'awkward.'

Re: Synopsis - length thereof

Oooh, thanks for the synopsis. I was interested and excited just reading that, never mind the actual novel.

However, my anal retentiveness picked up the following:

Chapter Two: with a warning that she should leave by the morning. The rhyming words are awkward.
Chapter Four: by stars tat do not move Typo
Chapter Five: a hole into anotherRealm Missing space
Chapter Nine: the city on the facade of a plague Facade of a plague?
Chapter Ten: father and son and the way to Nerratt. On the way, right?
Chapter Ten: and Ilys race into the city He and Ilys, I think.
Chapter Fifteen: Back inEdghill, Missing space
Chapter Thirty-Seven She maunds a strong display Maunds?
Chapter Thirty-Seven andtakes her seat Missing space
Chapter Thirty-Nine some of their languae, Typo
Chapter Forty and is unswayed even Rothain's vivid description Missing a "by," I think

Re: Synopsis - length thereof

Man, you guys are good. I guess it's like Linus Torvalds (the creator of Linux) always says: "With enough eyeballs, all bugs are shallow."

You have my sincere appreciation, and I'll fix all of those. Thanks!

(And if anybody's going to WorldCon, let me know and I'll buy you a beer there, or whatever you drink in lieu of beer.) >8->


Have Fun,
- Steve Eley

Re: synopsis

So. There's a very helpful exercise where you go through your ms and cross out every form of the verb "to be." No was, been, etc. Of course you can't do this with absolutely everything, but I think it can be very useful to identify some problems.

Okay then. How would one revise a sentence such as "She had been missing for three days"? "She was missing for three days" still has a 'to be' form - but this sounds as if 'she' is found, whereas in the first form she's still missing. I suppose 'missing' is just one of those verbs, but I'm curious as to what other people think of this scenario? :huh

Re: synopsis

The entire neighborhood searched for three days but could not find her.

or

Three days ago, she had vanished. The entire neighborhood missed her.

or

She fired at the target for three days, missing every time.

JB

Re: To be or not to be...

mac,

What's the context? Before I could edit that sentence, I'd have to know what words surrounded the sentence. For example, perhaps it could be mostly omitted:

"Three days later, they found her body, dangling by a bootlace half-way down the cliff."

(Okay, so it's not great, but it doesn't use any form of "to be")

Sometimes, reversing the sentence might work.

"She was overwhelmed by terror," becomes, "Terror overwhelmed her."

On the other hand, editing out all forms of "to be" would be (see, I just used it!) very awkward, and that would detract from the final ms.

Just some thoughts...

Ruth

Re: Synopsis - length thereof

On the other hand, editing out all forms of "to be" would be (see, I just used it!) very awkward, and that would detract from the final ms.

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A good point, Ruth. Examining your manuscript for these 'to be' instances should give you the opportunity to decide if it is the best way. On occasion it might.

Re: synopsis

Context. Hm. Context could be useful. But actually, the sentence simliar to this one stands alone - an "opener" if you would - so it really doesn't have anything attached.

I believe this is one of those occassions which Chunky and I mentioned where you should stick with 'to be'. I should have explained further that in said exercise you go through again and stick all of the necessary forms back in. But it's still fun to play around with, right? Word games. (;

Re: synopsis

It's a good idea to go through your ms and weed out the unnecessary "to be" words (including "there is," "was doing something," etc.), "very," "quite" and examine every adverb and redundant adjectives ("She is beautiful and ravishing").

However, if you just blindly take things out, your prose may lose that "natural" feeling. Keep what works and take out what doesn't. Be a smart editor, not a robot.

Re: synopsis

I'd use "She had been missing for three days," or possibly "She'd been missing for three days." It's a good, serviceable, informative sentence. You read it without a bobble, pick up all the necessary information, and move on. I haven't seen any alternatives suggested here that don't add friction to the reading process.

I don't know where the idea comes from that "to be" verbs are inherently bad. If you'll go look at some notable English stylists, you'll find they use "to be" verbs all the time. I'll grant that you can frequently make your sentences shorter, sharper, and more precise by using specific rather than generic verbs. If you're looking to do that, "to be" verbs are definitely going to be on the "examine for possible alternatives" list. However, make, use, say, go, and a bunch of other verbs should also be on that list. You have to use your judgement.

editing ms

Other things to watch out for are phrases like: see, hear, witness, feel, realize, remember, etc.:

"I heard the door banging shut..." -- replace with "The door banged shut."
"I saw Joe come through the door..." -- "Joe came through the door."
"I remember my father gave me a shovel..." -- "My father gave me a shovel..."

Of course, examine each sentence and make your decison. Sometimes it's better to leave them in.

Re: editing ms

Three days later she still hadn't turned up....

<hr>

Need I mention that in the right story, at the right place any one of those sentences could be the absolutely right one?

This is not a science, measured with stopwatch and micrometer. This is an art, an art where the one rule is "It works."

Happy Bloomsday

Happy Bloomsday.

*hangs head*

I'm really bad. I've never read James Joyce, and the only reason I knew it was Bloomsday yesterday was because of some blurb on the BBC website. (Although I did ponder snagging Ulysses when I was last in Barnes and Noble, because they have classics 3 for the price of 2 right now, and I also wanted copies of Crime and Punishment and The Art of War. )

Re: Happy Bloomsday

To all:

I had to ask my fifteen-year-old daughter what "Bloomsday" was.

I've posted two versions of a short (four paragraph) opening scene from my novel in the Share Your Work forum. It's here:

p197.ezboard.com/fabsolutewritefrm31.showMessage?topicID=331.topic

I'd appreciate it if some of you folks could take the time to give me some feedback on it. I promise, I've got thick skin.

Thanks,

Ruth

Writing Target Missed

I feel very guilty as I have not written a word this whole week:head :smack :gone

How do you guys manage not to let external (or internal) events interfere and take over your writing?

Re: Happy Bloomsday

How do you guys manage not to let external (or internal) events interfere and take over your writing?

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:rollin :lol :rofl

so funny... whew... I can't breathe...

Re: *hangs head*

How do you guys manage not to let external (or internal) events interfere and take over your writing?

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To translate maestro's rather incoherent reply:

We don't "not manage to let external (or internal) events interfere and take over [our] writing." (Please note the double negative here...)

But I think Uncle Jim would say that the way to take back control is to sit down in the chair and write.

oh boy

if you figure that out let me know--everything tries to interfere. The first thing is to tell everyone around you--this is my career choice, and I must work at least X number of hours everyday at it, no matter what.

Then you set those hours and just as though you were going to a job outside of the house --you place butt in chair and write. Do things interfere with a job outside the house? You bet. But if you let them keep you from going to work or doing your job you won't have the job, same with writing.

Set a time and go to "work."

Shawn

Shawn has it right

Shawn has it. You have to treat it as a second job and don't let other people treat your writing time as a resource.

IMHO...

It helps to get some success in early - e.g. a short story in print, or a short novella for a small publisher. That validates your grand project and makes it seem less like you're throwing time away that could be spent with kith and kin.

However, the big thing is to do a very thorough life laundry.
You need to make space for writing without compromising the things that matter. Cut the faffing and the frittering, but not the time spent on your nearest and dearest. :kiss

That can mean dropping hobbies, dependent or non-entertaining friends, not watching TV except for a couple of carefully chosen shows (e.g. I've kept up with Buffy and SG1), not wasting time on the internet, and not getting drawn into activities parallel to writing such as reading groups and fandom etc.

For example, I used to do almost anything to secure company at lunchtime. Now I limit myself to one lunchtime coffee with a mate per week. Other days find me in the local pub, hunched over my laptop. I can manage about 700 words in the time. (It helps me to work from an outline since I can tweak this in odd moments, and think about it without access to a computer.)

It can also mean meeting your general needs in ways that help your writing. I need exercise to fight off the middle aged flab, and to keep my brain going. I also need a social circle of like minded people which exists without too much input from me. So I do western martial arts and battle reenactment. I have mates who talk about swords and armour, am fairly fit, and can write about medieval combat from the inside (I'm off this weekend to spend two days fighting in plate armour). If I wrote military SF, I'd take up paint wars and orienteering instead.

If some of this seems a little selfish, then too bad. When you're old and wrinkly, you won't remember the names of most of your friends, or the TV shows you watched, or the bulletin boards you haunted. But you will be able to point to a creaking shelf of paperback novels with your name on each spine.

You might want to read
www.sff.net/people/jennif...egarb.html

Good luck!

Re: Happy Bloomsday

Well... to me, life is about balance. If you work too hard, you will eventually burn out. I was a very successful IT consultant and I burned out... I don't want that to happen to my writing.

The greatest gift to a writer is his/her ability to observe life. The fuller his/her life is, the richer the stories are. It's about experiences. It's great to travel far and wide, to meet different people, to taste different food, to experience different cultures, to have a passion outside of your work...

You must balance your work (writing) with living (hobbies, friends, life style, family, etc.).