Head hopping in Published Fiction

blacbird said:

And that's doesn't cause a bad moon to rise in your writing experience? Any time I have to stop and read something twice bothers me. If I have to do it repeatedly, it really irritates me, and once irritated, I begin to look around for other things to read.

caw

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Yes, I did find it irritating. I finished the book, but I much preferred Bel Canto to Run.

I actually don't mind frequent POV shifts, because that isn't how I define "head-hopping." To me, head-hopping occurs when the reader ISN'T CLEAR on who is speaking. It's not just an issue of "Bob thought this" and then "Tom thought that" but more this sort of thing:

"Do you want to go to the store with me?" Lips twisted with loathing, he walked away.

So who made the motions? The speaker or the listener? It could be either the way it's written, and since the words don't really match the facial or body movements, you're left scratching your head. THAT'S head-hopping to me and it's what editors loathe.

But with proper attribution of:

"Do you want to go to the store with me?" He barely noticed Tom's lips twisting with loathing as he walked away.

Now it's obviously in Bob's POV. He's NOTICING the actions rather than making them.

JMHO, of course. But unclear actions are what make head-hopping for me, not merely frequent POV shifts.

Seeing as I am an unpublished author, I am going to make a concerted effort to avoid "POV violations". But I do believe head-hopping can be pulled off well (there is a chapter in A Canticle for Leibowitz where Miller does exactly what Bart is referring to and does it so masterfully it took my breath away) if by head-hopping we mean more than one POV within a single scene. Doing it well means keeping everything crystal clear and very smooth so only people consciously looking for rule-breaking would ever notice. And it would also mean that the passage in question is enriched by it.

Any time a reader has to read a passage twice in order to understand it, I consider the author to be at fault. If I'm the reader and I'm very tired or distracted, I admit the possibility that maybe this time, I'm at fault.

CheshireCat said:

Shifting POV, like any other writing tool, works when it works.

It's neither an example of bad writing nor good writing, in and of itself. If done well, it serves a purpose and is seamless from the reader's POV; if done badly, it's jarring and confuses the reader as to who's thinking or speaking.

The trick is to learn how to use it well -- not remove it from your toolbox because it's difficult to deal with.

IMO, of course.

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I could not agree with you more if you added pie.

And I love pie.

In the first chapter of my current book I head hop around 6 times as a literary tool: it shows the connection between the people in the community I'm writing about. This works because the last head hop goes back to the first, completing the chain. In the mean time the chapter is full of funny, engaging scenes, that keep them from thinking about boring things like literary devices

If a book features an obvious narrator who tells the reader what each character is thinking, what is this called?

seun said:

If a book features an obvious narrator who tells the reader what each character is thinking, what is this called?

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Omniscient.

Thanks. Thought it might be but didn't want to get it wrong and look like a prat.

I don't see this as "head-hopping" at all--I see this as omniscient narration. Being omniscient, the narrator knows what each of the characters is thinking.

"Head-hopping" to me is when the narrative changes point of view AND there is no continuing third-person omniscient thread.

There are two kinds of omniscient narrator--the omniscient narrator who always hovers above the shoulder/in the mind of one character (I like to call this the "guardian angel" omniscient narrator) and the omniscient narrator who floats above the whole story with perspective on all the characters (I like to call this the "recording angel" omniscient narrator).

If the narrative has perspective on multiple characters, there's nothing wrong with showing multiple characters' thoughts and feelings.

lfraser said:

Just as a for-instance, I'm reading Terry Pratchett at the moment. He head hops his way through his narrative, and it never feels like a mis-step. In fact, the shifting perspectives keep the stories moving along at a fast and entertaining clip.

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ohmygodIlooooveTerryPratchett.

That is all.

IceCreamEmpress said:

I don't see this as "head-hopping" at all--I see this as omniscient narration. Being omniscient, the narrator knows what each of the characters is thinking.

"Head-hopping" to me is when the narrative changes point of view AND there is no continuing third-person omniscient thread.

There are two kinds of omniscient narrator--the omniscient narrator who always hovers above the shoulder/in the mind of one character (I like to call this the "guardian angel" omniscient narrator) and the omniscient narrator who floats above the whole story with perspective on all the characters (I like to call this the "recording angel" omniscient narrator).

If the narrative has perspective on multiple characters, there's nothing wrong with showing multiple characters' thoughts and feelings.

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This is actually called "limited," not "omniscient." If your POV is the 3rd person (he/she), then it is 3rd person limited.

Birol said:

This is actually called "limited," not "omniscient." If your POV is the 3rd person (he/she), then it is 3rd person limited.

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No, I'm thinking of an omniscient narrator who nonetheless gets inside the head of only one character.

In other words, the omniscient narrator relates EVENTS that the focus character wouldn't physically be able to know about, but only relates the thoughts and feelings of that character.


I see why my post was confusing on this. I should have said "internal perspective" rather than "perspective". The guardian angel narrator knows and relates the actions of all the characters, whether the protagonist is aware of them or not, but only knows and relates the thoughts and feelings of the protagonist.