Thanks you all. Komnena, Hubby's friend's main concern has been what is best for their two children. Now I don't know what he may say just to my husband, but in my presence he has not said one bad thing about her and has said he just wants to make sure the kids stay in a good school and have some kind of normal. He also was blindsided by her leaving, which means she never followed my advice. They went to counseling a few years ago and he thought they were fine. And she didn't even tell him to his face. He said he asked her on a weekend what was bothering her and she just said she was tired, then she called him at work on that Monday from her mother's house to tell him she left.
Fizz, thanks, I know you have first hand experience. I haven't been in contact with her since she left him. HE's been at our house a lot, which is actually nice because in the last couple years he hasn't had much chance to hang out with hubby. He is calling my hubby more often to. What angers me in addition to the way she is treating him, is that I went out of my way to be her friend all this time and at first, before I knew how she was going to be in this process, I thought I would still try. But she hasn't spoken to me at all, and I know it is becuase I advised her to work on it and she isn't. She's run to her shallow little girl friends who feed her ego. So I am more than happy to support my hubby's friend and cut her off.
And Russ, I know that about relationships, but the thing is, I know her side of the story from before she left, when she would call me crying. As I said, they were never "meant to be" but he's a nice guy who works hard and means well. Leaving him is fine, twisting the knife as she does it is not.