Help dealing with fear.

Ludicrum · Mar 8, 2011

Kitty27 said:
the worst enemy of them all aka that damned inner critic that savages you before you can even get started.

For me it's the opposite. While I am full of doubts, my inner critic and I are on good terms. He never pops in while I'm writing, though he occasionally raises an eyebrow after I've either finished writing or take a break. A stern look from me sends him scurrying back to his corner, though, and I happily ignore his grumbling.

When I was 17 I had absolutely no idea what I was getting into and no concept of failure. That absolute confidence and burning interest in writing spurred me to completing my first two manuscripts, and has been a HUGE part of my development as a writer. I remember when I scrapped my first novel nearly 100,000 words in and rewrote it from scratch without even batting an eye. When I told an online writer friend this, he thought I was absolutely bonkers and asked how I could do it. I didn't understand the question, because doing so was just that natural to me. The second version was much better than the first.

I miss those days; I'd write all day and be positively thrilled with what I was doing. Those days may be gone, but I couldn't be the writer I am now without the things I learned from that intense period.

Ludicrum · Mar 8, 2011

DeaK said:
In short: writing helps make the fears go away.

I hope so. I'm experimenting with ways to focus on writing more regularly. All those fears I describe seem to vanish once I get lost in my work, and I feel surprisingly refreshed after I've completed a good day's writing/editing. If I can pull this off more often, perhaps my doubts will be rendered a moot issue.

(like, I can't get better at writing – which I know I can, because I have)

Fortunately I kept the first thing I ever wrote. It's in a binder in my closet. It was the first few chapters of a fantasy story I never finished, and it is positively atrocious. I showed it to my high school guidance councilor when I talked to him about my career goals. That councilor could barely contain his laughter as he read it and came damn close to outright laughing in my face. It was that terrible.

So I occasionally look at that first piece as proof positive that I've come a long way as a writer.

Ludicrum · Mar 8, 2011

elmoie said:
My biggest fear is that I will fail and be doomed to a life of doing something I hate.

That, right there, is the very essence of my post distilled into a single sentence.

It's the thing I'm most afraid of. Probably because I see my siblings and friends working jobs that they hate; how it leaves them bitter and irritable and not at all like the carefree people they were before life's expectations crushed the life out of them. My biggest fear is becoming like them.

Which is not to say that I expect things to be easy, far from it. I remember reading in some book (forgot which one) that when one does work that he loves it's still work. Hard work. But, if you love it, you can suffer the down side gladly and be eminently satisfied, because you're doing what you love. THAT is what I want.

Ludicrum · Mar 8, 2011

I just want to say thanks to everyone who offered their advice and support. I actually do feel better about my prospects now than I did before posting this.

For quite a while I was the only writer I knew, so before now I had no basis for comparison by which to judge my fears, and that made them seem all the more threatening. Listening to you guys, it doesn't seem so bad anymore.

@AlwaysJuly: Thanks for your post as well. I took a lot of encouragement from that. If a friggen Marine can get butterflies about writing, I have nothing to complain about.

@Jamesaritchie: Such clarity of purpose takes time to develop. I will try to take your words to heart, and hopefully someday I can approach life in general with that mindset.

@NeuroFizz: You are absolutely right! Better to try and fail than back away and always wonder what could have been.

Fruitbat · Mar 8, 2011

Ludicrum I can't tell from your posts if your fear is the garden variety insecurity about writing, a response to being surrounded by the wrong people, or if you're talking about an actual anxiety disorder level of fear.

I don't find writing scary at all because it is something I do alone. There's no potential audience unless I say so. It's time I'd be watching television otherwise. It is one of the lowest risk things in my life or mind. Unless you are giving up your day job and hoping it will support you, I don't get "scary" at all. But apparently others do, so jmho.

If it's other people who instill this doubt (you said they are "against" you writing, which I found strange) then imo that means they should not be included in your hopes or activities. My advice, do not tell such people any of your business. Those who can't be trusted to be on your side need to be left outside of anything important to you, no matter what their relation to you.

Beyond that, I think there is anxiety that fits a situation (job interview, worry about money, doubts about a spouse...) and anxiety that doesn't (afraid to go outside when there's nothing wrong outside, afraid to be around other people when those other people aren't a threat, etc.) The second kind requires therapy or medication to get rid of, imo.

So anyway, I don't quite understand which of these issues it is, or something else entirely. Good luck.

sneakysnail · Mar 8, 2011

Oh My God ... I love this place. What an amazingly (is that a word) funny group of people. Yup, I too have all those fears. I am just to afraid to say them out loud. HA! I was so glad to find your post.
Yippie!! I am not crazy.

Feel better
Renee

BigWords · Mar 9, 2011

Read this, then try to calm down. Everyone, sooner or later, gets spooked at the attention their writing is getting. Even bestsellers get freaked. The trick is to keep all negative thoughts off in the corner where they can do no harm - easier said than done, I know...

c.m.n. · Mar 9, 2011

Ludicrum said:
Fear of Being Unworthy

I have this little voice in the back of my head that constantly whispers "what if you're just not good enough?" I ignore it and keep writing/editing, and then that same voice asks "what gives you the gall to dare presume to be a writer?"

"What makes you so special? You think you can measure up to those people who are obviously more skilled, talented, devoted, and just plain BETTER than you? You'll never make it; it's stupid of you to even try."

This doesn't stop me from working, but when this anxiety gets bad it does slow me down and cause me to procrastinate.

This. Right there. Is what I've been going through a lot since decided to try and get published.
I'm only on my 1st rough, but this anxiety does cause me to slow down.

But I do think all of your fears are common. With most of us, that is.

When the anxiety is taking it's toll on me, I'll save my WIP and take a break. Think of something else, work on something else, read a book and just spending time away.

Once I'm ready to start again, I'm in the right mind frame. I write how I want and I've calmed down my thoughts.

Help dealing with fear.

Ludicrum

Ludicrum

Ludicrum

Ludicrum

Fruitbat

.

sneakysnail

I'm about to say something stupid

BigWords

Geekzilla

c.m.n.

Beary cute ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)