She's Ba-ack!
To Blog or Not to Blog, Part 4
Or, Answering Donna's questions, one little bit at a time.
Make Me Laugh, Clown, on a Daily Freaking Basis!
So you want to do a humor blog. (But…WHY?) You’re writing the humor, they’re all laughing, you’ve got some stuff published or at least not returned in your SASE torn to bits. So, how to? (And the whole class goes “FINALLY”.)
Well, there are ways. One way is this -- I've posted most of my Humor Clinic pieces to my blog. If they were funny here (yes, yes, open to debate) then they are funny THERE.
But, you haven’t done the homework and you don’t think your stuff was funny enough here and…
Let me quote from the Gods of Marketing: Just do it.
Remember, first and foremost, that your blog is a marketing tool. (I know, shocker. I’ve said that in every lecture. Wonder why…) Not every Jack in the Box ad is hilarious. Not every Geico ad makes you want to claw your eyes out. Some ads to better than others, but the overall brand is being supported. Have a Coke and a Smile, and then get to work.
Because that’s what you’re building here, your brand.
Yes, your brand. You are a brand, at least if you plan and act correctly, and brands have name recognition, stand for something, and make money. J.K. Rowling, Stephen King, David Sedaris, Dave Barry -- they aren’t writers or authors any more, they’re brands. And everything they do should, and usually does, support that brand. BTW, they’re also RICH. Because brands make money, as long as the brand is supported correctly and behaving in a way the consumer expects the brand to behave (ie: if you are a humorist, you’d better be funny).
First off, of course, let me point back to Lecture 1 and remind you that you are NOT doing a stream-of-consciousness blog. I promise you, your stream of consciousness is NOT funny. Not funny at all. For a variety of reasons.
One of those reasons is that you don’t edit your stream of consciousness. But you should edit your blog posts. Why? They are posting for anyone in the world to see, including the top agents out there, should you be so lucky. Spelling, grammar, context, syntax and an actual topic are all requirements. If you wouldn’t present it to the head of a Fortune 500 company because it’s so crappy, don’t post it to your blog.
You should put the same loving care into a blog post as you do any other piece you want to have published. Because the moment it’s on your blog…it IS published.
Your blog represents you to everyone who reads it. Like the old clean underwear wheeze, if your blog is misspelled, lacking in wit or interest, totally narcissistic without any benefit to the reader therein, or, still worst of all, boring and/or unreadable, then your blog is a waste of time to the nth degree. Most blogs are a horrifying combination of these errors, making them truly miserable places to visit once, let alone repeatedly.
I mentioned in Lecture 3 that I’d get into why complaining about the writing process -- agents and editors, in particular -- is a bad choice for your blog. Here’s why: the person you insult today could be making a decision about your future tomorrow. If you call Agent A a stupid idiot because she passed on your deathless prose, then, when you finally learn to write a book that will pass muster (oh yes, it’s usually us, not them, who need to get better at what we do), if Agent A has seen her name dragged through the mud of your blog (and, trust, me, people Google themselves ALL the time), then she’s not only going to pass on your now good book, she’s going to mention to all her friends in the tight-knit agent community that you are a world class jerk and probably more work than you’re worth.
Same with insulting Publication B because they didn’t see your genius. When you finally send in a great article, and Senior Editor at Publication B does a Google search to see how many readers pubbing your piece might drag, and then discovers you’ve called his publication a worthless rag, or worse, guess what? Your piece isn’t going to be selected, no matter how great, because Editor B knows that others will Google you to find more of your stuff, and will find your insulting blog post, denigrating his beloved pub.
As with anything in writing, think about it before you post it. Consider how many times you see someone on AW pull their post down, because it wasn’t funny, insulted someone else, was so off-topic as to be rude, etc. Now imagine that every one of those deleted posts were on YOUR blog with YOUR name attached to them. Not a pretty picture is it? Especially in a tool you should be using to market yourself and your works.
So, how to just do it?
First off, going to give big props to our own AmyDoodle, who asked us to take a look at her blog and see if she’s doing it right. She IS. For those who didn’t go take a look-see, go right now, and check it out. It’s funny, written in her voice, and NOT stream-of-consciousness. (Link to her blog is in Amy’s sig, on all of her posts.)
My blog is this way, too. (Link to my blog is in my sig line, on all of my posts. Those spotting a trend can feel superior and like they have a inkling as to part of what the next lecture will cover.) Whether or not you, personally, find my or Amy’s blogs to be places you’d want to hang out or not is probably based a lot on if you find either one of us funny, or at least intermittently funny. But both of our blogs are supporting our humor writing by being humorous.
And that brings us to this week’s homework. (Oh, the power, the POWER!) Create a blog post in the Homework thread. Choose from one of the topics listed below. Make sure that it is, above all, FUNNY, at least to you. Make sure that you edit it at least three times before you post it (really). Make sure it’s also reasonably short -- as this lecture series alone can prove, if it’s too long, it becomes work to read, not fun. After all, the mind can only take in what the butt can endure. Finally, make sure you’ll be willing to have it posted for the world to see (points for whoever can guess the NEXT lecture’s homework).
Blog Topic Prompts:
-- The baseball Playoffs/The World Series
-- A current TV show
-- A current movie
-- A pet peeve, with peeve and reasons for peeve clearly stated
-- The state of this season’s NFL
-- The weather
-- Children/Teenagers/Spouses/Parents/Other Family Units, pick one and talk about them
-- Any celebrity you think has been over-publicized
-- Any celebrity you think has been under-publicized
-- An unrequited affection
Next lecture will *gasp* wrap up with technical details. Like, where do you go TO blog, why should you be in more than one spot and how can you make that work, and why tagging is the be-all, end-all of the entire damned process.
Until then, happy proto-blogging!
