How to create bubbles with a pencil, while inflated.

Devil Ledbetter

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And other technical instructions.

It's Friday and I'm losing my mind. I'm editing some product instructions which were written as though there is a world-wide verb shortage. The author doesn't understand how to proceed when the subject of the sentence is an understood "you." The results are funny enough to share.


  • Seal the edges of the plywood to seal the endgrain.
  • Locate the exact location while inflated.
  • Mark point where bubbles are created with a pencil.
  • Make a patch of the same material as the inflatable boat is made of and of a similar thickness.
  • Allow to cure 24 hours before inflating to recommend pressure.

I always have trouble locating the exact location of things when I'm inflated, even when I'm inflated to recommend pressure.
 

Maryn

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Oh, that's pretty good. I like to save product manuals for items that don't need them, because the fractured English is just hilarious. Come on, China, we know you've got English speakers there--some of them are us!

Maryn, whose favorite is

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Do not to use in window​
 

Devil Ledbetter

Come on you stranger, you legend,
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you martyr and shine.
Oh, that's pretty good. I like to save product manuals for items that don't need them, because the fractured English is just hilarious. Come on, China, we know you've got English speakers there--some of them are us!

Maryn, whose favorite is

WINDOW FAN
Do not to use in window​
Except the author's first language is English in this case.

He may have a future teaching Honors English at my daughter's middle school.