Indecent Exposure at High Speeds

So the thing he'll be charged with is not reckless driving and endagering the public, but indecent exposure?

Maxinquaye said:

So the thing he'll be charged with is not reckless driving and endagering the public, but indecent exposure?

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That'd be the more serious charge, right. If you wanna double check me, look in the... wait for it... penal code.

WTF? How could he do that? How long is his penis, for god's sake?

I adopted the Tri-Cities (Kingsport, Bristol, and Johnson City, TN) as my home town. Since I moved to Atlanta, I occasionally see news stories coming from that area. This is one of the best.

I'm not even sure what to say on this. But the man has some sort of talent, I think. I'm not quite sure what sort that would be, but, I mean...it's one thing to masturbate with your significant other in the car with you - or to have him/her do it for you...long trips get much better this way - but to be doing it yourself on a highway, speeding, and looking over at the chick who supposedly initiated the whole thing?

Impressive. In some undefined way.

I had this happen to me while driving through Kentucky. The dude kept intentionally driving beside me while whacking off and eventually I got onto one side of a semi truck while he was on the other side (three lane highway) and stayed there using the truck as a barrier until the perv drove off ahead.

The guy was in a smaller pick-up truck, like an s-10 or Ranger, and I was in a cargo van, so I sat up higher and could see what the douche bag was doing. Ugh!

A charming habit of the lesser sex. There is apparently no place or situation where masturbation is off limits.

I fell asleep on the metro about two months ago and woke up to someone clawing at my chest and furiously masturbating. I complained about it on twitter and suddenly every one of my female friends had a "that one time a creep masturbated in public while following/staring at/harassing me" story.

I'm trying to visualize how he managed to do this.

And failing.

No, I don't need a video, either.

missesdash said:

A charming habit of the lesser sex. There is apparently no place or situation where masturbation is off limits.

I fell asleep on the metro about two months ago and woke up to someone clawing at my chest and furiously masturbating. I complained about it on twitter and suddenly every one of my female friends had a "that one time a creep masturbated in public while following/staring at/harassing me" story.

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To be fair, it could be just that one dude. And he's really, really busy.

Sounds like it could be a really hard thing to beat ...

Gravity said:

Sounds like it could be a really hard thing to beat ...

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Ew.

Had a similar highway experience in NM one time. I was in a rather tall SUV and the whacker was in a convertible passing me on the left. But he didn't go around. So I heaved a rather warm 7-11 cup of coffee into the convertible, and drove off. I have also used the universal hand symbol for tiny equipment, in other situations.

missesdash said:

A charming habit of the lesser sex. There is apparently no place or situation where masturbation is off limits.

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Sexist.

Women do it too.

jennontheisland said:

Sexist.

Women do it too.

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True. My male friends are always complaining about women following them around and masturbating in public places.

missesdash said:

A charming habit of the lesser sex. There is apparently no place or situation where masturbation is off limits.

I fell asleep on the metro about two months ago and woke up to someone clawing at my chest and furiously masturbating. I complained about it on twitter and suddenly every one of my female friends had a "that one time a creep masturbated in public while following/staring at/harassing me" story.

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Not to, like, stereotype anybody, but...don't you live in France? For some reason, I do hear a lot of stories like this from people who went to France. Not that they don't do it here, but...just saying.

Celia Cyanide said:

Not to, like, stereotype anybody, but...don't you live in France? For some reason, I do hear a lot of stories like this from people who went to France. Not that they don't do it here, but...just saying.

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No you're right, sexual harassment is much worse here. You'll hear lots of white parisians going on about how it's generally immigrants (from pakistan or an arab country) but HEY we had those in New York too and I was much more comfortable there than here.

I don't really know why it's different, though. Maybe the laws are more lax here.

jennontheisland said:

Sexist.

Women do it too.

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How is it I've never been a victim of this? Do I wear the wrong shirt?

missesdash said:

True. My male friends are always complaining about women following them around and masturbating in public places.

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Maybe your GAY male friends were complaining...

Took the kids to the DC Zoo once and while enjoying ice cream cones on a hot day, my daughter started tugging at my arm and pointing to a guy sitting at the next picnic table. I didn't really look hard because it was obvious the guy was some homeless man and I didn't want to get into a verbal brawl over, "what you lookin at."

My younger son then whispered in my ear, "Dad, the guy is whacking off."

I looked again and sure enough, the guy was looking at us, smiling, and whacking at his man shaft for all it was worth. I walked over to a cop standing at the refreshment stand and told him what was going on and the cop told me, "just ignore the guy and he'll go away."

I'm told the cop, "there are hundreds of kids around here that do not need to be exposed to this crap."

The cop then told me they have arrested this guy more times than he can remember. He is a homeless guy and has a mental disorder. No matter how many times they arrest him, he comes back. He did go over and say something to the guy who stopped and zipped his pants back up and moved on.

I truly felt that the cop was trying to make justifications for not doing his job, because maybe he didn't want to do the paper work, or visit court on his day off. But damn it, kids don't need to see this crap...

Alpha Echo said:

I'm not even sure what to say on this. But the man has some sort of talent, I think. I'm not quite sure what sort that would be, but, I mean...it's one thing to masturbate with your significant other in the car with you - or to have him/her do it for you...long trips get much better this way - but to be doing it yourself on a highway, speeding, and looking over at the chick who supposedly initiated the whole thing?

Impressive. In some undefined way.

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NOW you tell me! In those many years of long road trips, all I had was Books on Tape.

It seems to be a lower auto - higher auto thing. I've only personally heard of this happening once, from a college friend. She had a big jeep and the guy was in a car, both on a major highway.

Only, she wasn't offended. Not at all. She thought it was hysterical, and told everyone the story.

It was 20 years ago but I'll never forget her quip after each re-telling: "Yanno, I like to think I had a hand in that."

thothguard51 said:

But damn it, kids don't need to see this crap...

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What do you do when your kid wants to see the bonobos?

Whatsamatter, Gravity, you think you're better than the rest of us? Not willing to share your tasteless jokes, eh?

missesdash said:

True. My male friends are always complaining about women following them around and masturbating in public places.

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We do it all the time, don't you know? We just find a really cut, hot guy, pull 'em down and go at it. While walking. Quite amazing.

And the catcalling? Man, never gets old. Just yelled outside my car at all the hot guys with their cute little asses that I'd love to smack that some time. They looked kind of confused, then angry, but who are they to feel uncomfortable? Take the compliment or put on a paper bag, dude.

I know women who have admitted to masturbating in public places, including in cars. There are no places where it's off limits.

And calling men the "lesser sex" is sexist.