Limericks Live!

A woman who cursed at computers
found pictures of her daughter's hooters

A woman who cursed at computers
found pictures of her daughter's hooters
On Girls Gone Wild

A woman who cursed at computers
found pictures of her daughter's hooters
On Girls Gone Wild
that reprobate child

A woman who cursed at computers
found pictures of her daughter's hooters
On Girls Gone Wild
that reprobate child
She'll have no reputable suitors.

A sharp Vegas dealer named Duke

A sharp Vegas dealer named Duke
Felt no need to respond to rebuke

A sharp Vegas dealer named Duke
Felt no need to respond to rebuke
Texas Hold'em he dealt,

A sharp Vegas dealer named Duke
Felt no need to respond to rebuke
Texas Hold'em he dealt,
Laid five cards on the felt,

A sharp Vegas dealer named Duke
Felt no need to respond to rebuke
Texas Hold'em he dealt,
Laid five cards on the felt,
And the loser shot off his peruke.

A cat with a whimsical attitude

A cat with a whimsical attitude
Said "Cat got your tongue?" is a platitude

A cat with a whimsical attitude
Said "Cat got your tongue?" is a platitude
"To rain cats and dogs

A cat with a whimsical attitude
Said "Cat got your tongue?" is a platitude.
"To rain cats and dogs"
Is absurd. Why not frogs?

A cat with a whimsical attitude
Said "Cat got your tongue?" is a platitude.
"To rain cats and dogs"
Is absurd. Why not frogs?
And he pondered on this as the fat he chewed.




‘With a hey and a ho nonny no’

‘With a hey and a ho nonny no’
A country bumpkin stubbed his toe

‘With a hey and a ho nonny no’
A country bumpkin stubbed his toe
He fell on his bum

A cat with a whimsical attitude
Said "Cat got your tongue?" is a platitude.
"To rain cats and dogs"
Is absurd. Why not frogs?
That it's not causes me to feel gratitude."


One Monday on my way to work,

‘With a hey and a ho nonny no’
A country bumpkin stubbed his toe
He fell on his bum
And spilling his rum

‘With a hey and a ho nonny no’
A country bumpkin stubbed his toe
He fell on his bum
And spilling his rum
Said, "Whoa, Nellie, 'tain't a good show!

I wonder if chocolate and milk

I wonder if chocolate and milk
will come off if I scrub this silk?

I wonder if chocolate and milk
will come off if I scrub this silk?
They say soda works best

I wonder if chocolate and milk
will come off if I scrub this silk?
They say soda works best
But I fear to try, lest

I wonder if chocolate and milk
will come off if I scrub this silk?
They say soda works best
But I fear to try, lest
it leaves a spot or else of that ilk.


There once was an amorous moose

There once was an amorous moose
who fell in love with a flighty goose.

There once was an amorous moose
who fell in love with a flighty goose.
"Dear goose are you willing

There once was an amorous moose
who fell in love with a flighty goose.
"Dear goose are you willing
To go through a grilling?

There once was an amorous moose
who fell in love with a flighty goose.
"Dear goose are you willing
To go through a grilling?
asked a chef nearby, name of Bruce.


There once was a guy named Obama