Stupid things non-writers say

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Bubastes

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Mini-rant (not enough coffee yet this a.m.):

My Dad, who is well-meaning but a bit self-absorbed and clueless, inspired this "stupid things to say to a writer" thread. Any time the topic of writing comes up (which is not often because I refuse to talk about it these days), he says, "You know who's made a lot of money writing? Harold Robbins! You could be like him!" Yes, he's said this more than once.

Um, yeah. You'd think he'd at least pick a better, or at least more recent example, like Dan Brown. :Shrug: Not that either of them write litfic, romance, or food essays (my genres).

The pathetic part is that he has no clue what I write, nor does he bother asking me (like I said, self-absorbed). Oh, and he's never even read Harold Robbins's books. If he did, I don't think he'd be so eager for me to write "like him."

So, what are some stupid things people have said to you (besides the trusty "I want to write someday" or "I could have written [insert name of story here] if I had the time")?
 
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TrainofThought

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I try to stay away from writing topics, but a month ago my aunt asked the title of my book. I told her the title with others sitting around and she said, along with another, “What? I don’t know that word. I don’t like the title, so you need to change it.” Being the smart a$$ I am I responded, “I don’t care whether you like it or not. If you don’t know the word, you definitely aren’t part of my target audience.” She shut up, we moved onto another topic and I doubt we will be discussing my book again.
 

SherryTex

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Ouch.

Okay, so your Dad thinks you should write like Harold Robbins, might ask why? Better yet, ask which book. Might tell him why you like writing what you write. Show him one of your recent pieces and ask him what he thinks --after he's read it.


What's the title TOT? You just lost what could have been a sure buyer of your book by not being gracious of her ignorance. You could have told her what it meant and why the title fit so perfectly and then she would have learned a word, learned more about your book and perhaps been intrigued enough to go home and tell her friends about her niece the writer who would be published soon.
 

Kudra

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Here I was celebrating my personal rejection from a big-time editor, and this silly non-writer person says, "But it's still a rejection, right?"

Sheesh. You think they'd learn.

(Maybe I'm the stupid one. :Shrug:)
 

Del

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My mom won't read my work because I call it horror. She says she thinks I'll be too gorey. So I asked her "who's your favorite author?" She said Jonathan Kellerman. So I go find a book by JK. The first chapter has a series of mutilations and same gender sex.

"MOTHER! Why do you read this crap?"

"He uses short paragraphs."

I write about monsters. He writes about a detective. I guess it depends on who is doing the mutilating. Go figure...
 

seun

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This isn't so much a stupid statement than a stupid idea. Non-writers have an idea that writing takes a lot of time but if I say I'm busy writing and can't do something else, they're surprised. It's as if I can do both at the same time or writing is less important than anything else.
 

xhouseboy

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Where do you get your ideas?

Little shop down the road's running a special on them. Buy one, get one free.
 

Stew21

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I was at a local tavern (hometown hangout) and was with some friends. I was talking about writing my first MS. One of my friends is a beta reader for me. Some old guy that drinks too much and talks too much says, "hey! You could put us in the book! That would be great! There's gotta be a place in there for you to put all of us here in that book! This place is something special. You could write it and even use our real names."
:head smack:
"It's chick lit. I really doubt 5 drunk guys at the tavern down the street would have any bearing on the story."
"Well you could write it so it takes place in this town and then you could put us in."
Thankfully someone distracted him with a subject change to sports.
 

MidnightMuse

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"You should send your stories to a publisher."

"I used to write, when I was in grade school."

"Pass the salad, please."
 

Maprilynne

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"Yeah, I'm a writer too. I'm going to write this great book some day."

The best is that non-writers who don't understand the realities of writing really think that everyone gets million dollar advances. My mother's friend said one day, "She should hurry and get that book published. Then she can take us all to Hawaii or something."

Riiiiggghhhhttt.

Maprilynne
 

JeanneTGC

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My mother-in-law, trying to be helpful, explained in detail to me (while she was with me on an all-expense-paid-by-ME trip and during dinner at a nice restaurant) why she didn't like my writing.

"I just skim those sex scenes."

"Mom, they're love scenes, and for this book I do the 'wind blows at the curtains' stuff, you never see anything other than kissing and romantic feelings. How did you like the characters?"

"Well, I don't like stuff like that. You should take it out. I don't like books about things like vampires and werewolves <note that this woman is a RABID Harry Potter fan>. I like books based on reality <Note that this woman reads Tom Clancy and related type thrillers>. Oh, and you don't describe things well. You mentioned it was raining. This other author <insert name of some male writer, writing thrillers, who has been published for what seems like aeons> does it so much better than you. He describes how the drops hit the puddles, and how those things, those..."

"Concentric circles?"

"Yes, those! How they radiate out. I feel like I'm there!"

"That's super, mom. But I don't write like that. I don't like to READ that, so I don't write like that. I write in my own voice."

"You don't talk anything like what you gave me of yours to read."

"Mom? Know what? I love you, and I'd like to keep it that way. Let's just agree that you never read anything I've written again until it's published, and then just the acknowledgements page."
 

TrainofThought

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SherryTex said:
What's the title TOT? You just lost what could have been a sure buyer of your book by not being gracious of her ignorance. You could have told her what it meant and why the title fit so perfectly and then she would have learned a word, learned more about your book and perhaps been intrigued enough to go home and tell her friends about her niece the writer who would be published soon.
Actually, she isn’t an aunt by blood and isn’t one I hold in high standing. The word that she didn’t know was ‘genre’. This woman is in her late 60s and doesn’t know the word genre? She has no friends, other than my blood aunt, so losing readership isn’t too much of a risk here. And no one in my family knows what my book is about. That's how I want it for now.
 

Bubastes

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SherryTex said:
Ouch.

Okay, so your Dad thinks you should write like Harold Robbins, might ask why? Better yet, ask which book. Might tell him why you like writing what you write. Show him one of your recent pieces and ask him what he thinks --after he's read it.

He hasn't read anything by Harold Robbins. He just sees the money.

The only Robbins book I've read is Descent From Xanadu (I read it when I was a teenager). It was unintentionally hilarious.
 

TrickyFiction

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While discussing the possibility of including a novel project into my curriculum, my professor suddenly gets all hush hush and says, "We'd better be quiet. Anyone could steal your idea."

Good grief.

My father: "You should try to emulate Dan Brown. You know, write another Da Vinci Code."
 
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Stew21

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You wrote a novel?
Yes.
Well is it published?
No.
So it's just a hobby then?
No.
Why don't you write shorter ones. It wouldn't take as long, since you can't get them published anyway.
 

Shadow_Ferret

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My mom, just the other day... (I forget what brought it on).

"So, do you still write those little stories you used to?"

Yes, mom, I still write.

"How come I never see them?"

Maybe because I'm an adult now, moved out, with a family of my own? (OK, I didn't say that, but I was thinking it.)
 

Stew21

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Delarege said:
Don't you just love all the help?

I have to admit that the conversation took place with one of the stupidest people I know. :)

Example:
Idiot: "Hey Dave, do you have a comb?"
*Dave is almost completely bald and assumes he is making a dig.*
Dave: "actually I do."
Idiot: "can I borrow it?"
Dave: "I don't have it here." *takes his hat off and rubs his bald head.*
Idiot: "Trish do you have a comb. I really need to borrow a comb."
Trish: "No. I don't. can I ask why the first person you ask to borrow a comb from is the BALD guy?"
Idiot: "huh?"
 

Haggis

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Stew21 said:
I was at a local tavern (hometown hangout) and was with some friends. I was talking about writing my first MS. One of my friends is a beta reader for me. Some old guy that drinks too much and talks too much says, "hey! You could put us in the book! That would be great! There's gotta be a place in there for you to put all of us here in that book! This place is something special. You could write it and even use our real names."
:head smack:
"It's chick lit. I really doubt 5 drunk guys at the tavern down the street would have any bearing on the story."
"Well you could write it so it takes place in this town and then you could put us in."
Thankfully someone distracted him with a subject change to sports.
Hey. :idea: I always have the same 5 drunk guys in everything I write. Do you suppose that's what's been holding me back? :D
 
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