Learn Writing with Uncle Jim, Volume 1

Calliopenjo said:

Uncle Jim,

When writing novel outlines, do they look like the outlines you learned how to make when you were a kid? Or do they look different? I tried researching it but I'm getting different answers.

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That's because there are as many different answers as there are writers.

No, your outlines don't have to have all those Roman numerals and capital letters and small letters and such. But I'm sure that somewhere there's a writer who does it.

Usually my outlines are about 3/4 of the length of the finished book. But your outline doesn't have to look like that, either.

Some folks outline on file cards. But you don't have to.

Find something that works for you; some way to arrange your story so you know that you have a whole story. Something that you can work with.

If it works, it's right.

Calliopenjo, a lot of your questions seem to boil down to the writerly equivalent of "what's the right way to make chili?" And the answer is always, "any way that gives a tasty result". A chili just has to be a spicy gloop to be a chili, and a tasty spicy gloop to be a success. Any way that gets you there is good.

A novel has to have a protagonist and conflict. A good novel is one that people actually want to read. Most successful novels follow certain patterns, because they are patterns that most people find satisfying most of the time. The "rules" help you avoid common pitfalls, but they aren't sacrosanct. As has been observed repeatedly, many successful novels break a rule or two. There is no magistrate waiting to slap a fine on you if you don't follow them. So relax a bit. You won't ruin your chili if you add an extra clove of garlic, truly. You'll just have a more garlicky chili. You can saute the vegetables first and then add the meat, or do it the other way around. The taste will be a bit different, but both methods will give you chili. Just don't forget the chilies.

Go ahead and follow the recipes of a master chef; it's a great way to learn. But don't think that it's the only way to go. There is no one recipe, just a couple of common elements and a gazillion variations on the theme.

My signature, and part of my last post disappeared. Weird.

outline

I believe it varies. Personal preference, and all that. The first draft of A Birthday Suicide is essentially a 56,000 word outline of the novel. It gives me the characters, setting, and basic plotline for what I want the book to be... now I have to flesh it out. I don't even remember exactly how to do an outline like we did in school. That's called a Formal Outline, with categories and subcategories, and the use of symbols I, II, III, A, B, C, etc... From what I have learned, most writers don't outline this way, but if you feel it would be useful, by all means, do it.
Here are some examples of other outline forms:

Simple List: A list of topics you're thinking of covering, key points you plan to make. or scenes, sections, or stanzas you plan to write. You can number it; 1,2,3,4,5, etc... and add notes and descriptions to each item if you like.

Narrative Synopsis: your plot--in essence, a highly-condensed version of your piece, written in prose (basically what I described for my novel).

Narrative Description: what your piece will do, or be. Less detailed than narrative synopsis.

Flow Chart: showing the movement of events, characters, ideas, points, topics, images and/or relationships, from the beginning of your piece to the end.

Netline or Mindmap: an ingenious form of outlining that focuses on relationships rather than on plot or sequence. A netline presents information visually rather than in a linear fashion. It often resembles a spider web, or a net--hence it's name.

Sample of Netline

Well, I can't see my whole post, even though I reposted it. It just stops halfway down. Can you guys read the whole thing? It should end with "netline/mindmap" description.

here's a link to a netline example:

netline

Okay, I changed to Firefox and now my post is fine. I had just downloaded Internet Explorer 8. Strange, because I had never had a problem with IE before.

Thanks guys. You helped me to solve the great mystery. Yay! Have a good one.

I promise to go back to the corner and hide over the weekend. (Cross my heart.)

UJ, what would you do if you were half the way through a writing, say 50,000 words, and all of the sudden you realize and see that your writing skills had finally started to come together, showing not telling, dialog, and the story started to jump to life. You noticed your writing started to resemble and read like a novel off the shelf?

As close as I can figure, in 5 years I've written close to 800,000 words in 9 works of fiction.

A. Start over?

B. Continue and re-write the first 50,000

C. Something else.

Thanks, Ken

That's what happened to me with A Birthday Suicide. When I started it I was still really green, toward the end my chops had improved greatly. I finished the first draft, knowing when I do the rewrite I can fix the beginning, and still improve the latter chapters. It's my opinion that as writers we are always improving, each piece, paragraph, sentence can and should be better than what you were capable of previously.

Ken, that just happened to me. I'm doing a final picky edit through my non-fic book and discovered that my writing has clarified dramatically. It feels like a combination of being fine with who I am and trusting the reader to fill in the blanks.

Although the book hasn't changed structurally, the prose changes feel like a major revision. Amazing. Glad I didn't try to force it.

Congrats! Nice feeling, eh?

I might post something in a minute or so that is not meant to interrupt your thought, but to refer back to library book scribbler hell. I tried to post it yesterday and encountered computer and website chaos.

Today's movie is Mark Out.

Countess Natasha learns of a plot by Genovian flesh-eating zombies to defile all books written in Hungarian by Italian vampires. The zombies know that if the books are destroyed, they will perish. Natasha must save the books, which hold the key to destroying the zombie-creating T-virus, and find the cure before US nukes are launched at her beloved Moscovia. Natasha uses taxis and automatic weapons to hide her royal status and secret training by a German-speaking Mongolian sect living in the forests of Siberia. She has twenty-four hours until launch.

[SFX]

[Bookmobile door opens and zombie charges in at Natasha.]

[Automatic weapon fire]

ZOMBIE

Arrrrgh!

[First marker-wielding zombie falls undead across desk. Second zombie leaps toward stacks, grabs book and starts marking in it.]

[Natasha reloads as she turns toward last zombie.]

NATASHA

Sukin syn!

[Three rapidly fired shots.]

[Last zombie's head explodes due to Natasha's carefully aimed shots, saving the book. Zombie falls sideways to floor.]

NATASHA

Book scribbler hell for you.

[Boris leans in bookmobile door.]

BORIS (in Swahili)

More are coming! We can't stop them.

[Boris turns back outside.]

[Automatic weapon fire.]

[Natasha grabs three books and steps out as dozens of zombies rush the bookmobile.]

NATASHA

Chert' voz'mi. It was fun while it lasted.

BORIS (in Swahili)

Don't give up, damn it!

NATASHA

Chipilon. Do I ever give up?

[Natasha lets AKM hang from her shoulder and raises arms. Taxi driver sees and stops at curb.]

NATASHA

Leck mir am *rse. Leck mir am *rse. Leck mir am *rse.

[Zombies fall inert to the ground.]

[Boris follows Natasha to waiting taxi.]

BORIS

What was that?

[Natasha opens taxi door, turns, face sidelit by setting sun.]

NATASHA

The Pax Mongolica. Let's go.

[Taxi drives away and turns down narrow street.]

[Traditional West African Mande' music plays in background.]

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Thanks Jim. I had to honor the new genre by giving it a shot.

[Phil looks at clock.]

Phil

Sacre merde! Time for a nap before work.

Seems like you plug away and plug away and call youself a hack and plug away and then you see some real improvements that give you hope. And, you plug away some more, but need to find a better word to call yourself than hack. If a hack is a private, I'vew promoted myself to private first class. I hope I don't have to be a General to get published.

Hello again Ken. Just returned from working all night.

Reader response showed my writing fine before, but it's improved enough that I often stop, smile and shake my head in amazement. I didn't see or allow myself to cut the fat I'm trimming now. It adds up. What's your experience of it?

I don't know Ken. Let's say Jim and Doyle--successful mid-list authors--are field grade officers. They rate that in my book. (Stephen King being a general or admiral.) With the work and perseverence writing often demands, maybe we're in the nco ranks?

Okay, time to sleep. Maybe I'll see UJ and others reply to you when I wake up.

Btw Jim: I see that my screen adaptation from the movie Mark Up does not belong in the novel writing thread. I'm fine with zapping it if necessary. Got excited with the impromptu writing exercise and lesson "over there." It happened in situ, which I enjoyed a lot.

Something I tend to struggle with is sentence rhythm. I don't think I vary them enough, but find it difficult to reconstruct them without ruining the emphasis/meaning. I think part of this may be due to overthinking active voice.

A few theories on active/passive voice, not necessarily in contradiction with each other:

James D. Macdonald said:

George Orwell's rules of writing:
. . .
(iv) Never use the passive where you can use the active.

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James D Macdonald said:

The active and passive voices are both tools in your toolbox.

You may use one tool more often than another, but when the time comes when you need that second tool, by all means use it.

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and possibly a derivitive of the above:

Choose between an active or passive voice based on what you want the subject of the sentence to be.

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In other words, you can change from passive voice to active voice by making your character the subject of every sentence, thus placing emphasis on that character. This also often has the result of that character being located at the beginning of every sentence.

I am finding that this is causing me to write far too many sentences that look like this:

MC did this.
MC did that.
etc.

Any suggestions? Am I just being anal?

The passive/active switch is not the only way to vary sentence length and construction. You can start with prepositional phrases, for example.

In the deepening shadows at the base of the great trees, the panther waits, even his normally lashing tail immobile.

You can start with a participial phrase:

Tired and beaten down by labour and derision, my father returned every night, shoulders slumped in weary resignation.

You can combine sentences with subordinating conjunctions:

Because Gerry hated eating ice cream in winter, he really didn't appreciate Dairy Queen gift cards as Christmas presents.

You see? There are many ways to shake it up. Varying the length also matters. When sentences are too similar in structure and length for too long, I find it has an anesthetizing effect, creating a numbness and emotional distance. Of course, sometimes you can do that deliberately to great effect, such as when your character is in shock at what he's seeing, but it should be used sparingly.

Uncle Jim,

I just finished reading "Land of Mist and Snow". Though I admit it's not my regular cup of tea, I found myself unable to put it down.

I was wondering if you could tell me how many words that book contains? This would help me figure out how accurate my estimates are.

Also, I was wondering how well you planned the words on that first page. I bought the paperback version and the very last line at the bottom of the first page is "Meanwhile, I sat filing papers in an obscure office." Though when you turn the page you realize this is the first line of a longer paragraph, it stands quite nicely on its own and packs a punch as it lies there at the bottom of that page. Furthermore, that sentence is exactly long enough to fit the width of the page.

Is this coincidence or craft?

If this is craft, then how did you know exactly what would appear on the first page?

First: Land of Mist and Snow is about 65,000 words. It's a relatively short novel.

Next, the layout was as much a surprise to me as to anyone. I had nothing to do with which line ended the first page. The book's designer is the person who did that, not me. My part was to try to make sure that every sentence led compellingly to the next one.

I often fall short, but that's my goal.

Perle, I triple-dog dare you AND will beta read your first draft if you need someone to do that. (I don't know if that's incentive or not...)

General Tso said:

In other words, you can change from passive voice to active voice by making your character the subject of every sentence, thus placing emphasis on that character.

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No. Your character could easily be the subject of a sentence with a verb in the passive voice.

"Choose between an active or passive voice based on what you want the subject of the sentence to be," is good advice, but it's incomplete.

The passive voice is an aspect of the verb in the sentence; it is not an aspect of the meaning you're trying to express with that verb. Compare:

verb = give.

"Give" expresses a social transaction that involves the movement (literal or figurative) of an object from one person to another.

George gives a present to Bill.

You can now make "Bill" the subject of the sentence. To do so, you put the verb "give" into the passive voice.

Bill was given a present.

You can also make the present the subject of the sentence:

A present was given to Bill.

So you first choose what you're talking about (the subject), and then the relation of the subject to the verb determines the verb's voice. If you're talking about George, you have active voice; if you're talking about Bill, or the present, you have passive voice. This is the grammatical consequence of the subject and the verb you have chosen.

Now, I said it's about the verb and not the meaning you're expressing with the verb. Why? Because sometimes you can use a different verb to express the same set of circumstances. So:

If you assume the verb "give", and you make "Bill" the subject of the sentence you have the passive voice:

Bill was given a present.

But you could use a different verb to express the meaning, say "receive".

Bill received a present.

"Receive" meaning what it does, the verb is now in the active voice. Putting "the present" into the subject slot would still render the verb in the passive voice:

A present was received.

Note that the verb "receive" does not allow George in the subject slot at all. If you choose the verb "receive", the only way to put "George" anywhere near the subject of the sentence is a rather roundabout construction:

It was George from whom Bill received a present.

Again, you can find a new verb to focus on the present, say:

A present exchanged hands.

Now, both George and Bill are deleted from the core meaning of the verb; though you can add them in a prepositional phrase:

A present exchanged hands from George to Bill.

So, very often, if you really want to avoid the passive voice, you can do so by finding the appropriate verb. It's just that - often - there is no reason at all to avoid the passive voice.

"Bill was given a present," (passive voice) is as precise or vague as "Bill received a present." (active voice) Bill is as active or passive in either sentence, too. Between these two versions, the difference are mainly word count, rhythm, register.

Another, more subtle, difference is that the passive voice "was given" draws more attention to the "giver" (who is often absent from the sentence), than "receive".

To illustrate that difference, take a pair of verbs that make for different slots in a social transaction, say "buy" and "sell":

I bought a book. --> I was sold a book.

See the difference? The active voice version of "buy" focusses entirely on you and the book. The passive voice version of "sell" focusses on you and the book, too, but it also hints at the absent seller.

It's this difference that earns the "passive voice" the epithet of "vague", even though "I was sold a book," is no more vauge than "I bought a book." There is a seller in both cases, and it's mentioned in neither. However the existance of the seller is brought up if you use the verb "sell". It's in the verbs very meaning.

Burger's Daughter by Nadine Gordimer

Why do I bring this up? I was on another forum and I asked the ever curious question: Have you ever wanted to throw a book against a wall? One of the members answered yeah I did, and mentioned that book. What caught me off guard was the title. I hear burger and I'm thinking a bacon cheeseburger hold the tomato and onion. While the title though is misleading the first two pages were an easy and interesting read. If anyone wants to take a look:
http://www.amazon.com/dp/0140055932/?tag=absolutewritedm-20
and click the cover to read inside. It was published in 1979 so not that long ago.

My two cents for the day.

James Joyce has a lot to answer for.

James Joyce had a bacon cheeseburger?

Nothing misleading about the title. Burger has more than one definition. Although I've usually seen it spelled burgher. Bourgeois is the same word, coming through French, and it means a citizen of a walled city. In other words, a city person, probably a merchant or tradesman, as opposed to a farmer.

Judg said:

Nothing misleading about the title. Burger has more than one definition. Although I've usually seen it spelled burgher. Bourgeois is the same word, coming through French, and it means a citizen of a walled city. In other words, a city person, probably a merchant or tradesman, as opposed to a farmer.

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A Burgermeister. Master or mayor of the Burg/town/city.

Yeagermeister. Hunter Master. Or a thick black tar like drink.

Yeagerschnitzel Hunter steak.

Shall I continue?