Problem with sharing my ideas

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jjdebenedictis

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A good way to avoid people hassiing is to have a really basic answer to give them. So rather than saying, "I'm not going to tell you," you say, "It's a murder mystery set in Paris." Or "It's an urban fantasy with pixies." Just a basic quick sentence. That's often all people really want to know anyway.
My husband is a physicist, and he hates talking about his work simply because he's met too many physicists who won't shut up about physics. (At a party, glass of wine in hand? Sure, let's talk about entangled states ad infinitum...)

But people outside the field genuinely are curious about what he does, and so he (gently) puts them off using exactly your technique.

"Ooh, you study physics? What do you work on?"
"Oh, just gravity."
"What, like, outer space stuff?"
"Yeah, quantum gravity. It's mainly a bunch of math."

Of course, he could jabber on about black holes, wormholes, and gravastars, and his audience would probably appreciate that up to a point--but when he's interacting with people, he wants to do social, human stuff, not discuss intellectual abstractions. He separates his work and his play pretty ruthlessly.
 

whimsical rabbit

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From what I undestand, you share, widely and enthusiastically, and once you do, you feel each one of the people you share with take a little something out of it, until there's nothing left.

Don't share. Not as widely at least. Because people's reactions vary, especially non-writers' ones, and they may dishearten you. People may try to impose their own ideas on yours, they may yawn, change the subject too quickly, not pay enough attention during or after your narration- anything. And you can't blame them either, because only fellow writer or book fiends will follow you as closely as you wish.

Bottom line? Find someone you trust and talk your ideas through with them. The only person that ever gets to hear about my ideas is my husband- a screenwriter. He always listens attentively and even when he bashes some of my ideas, he usually sends me towards the right direction.

Then write. And write, and write some more, and finish something. Are you blogging? Start blogging. Anonymous comments may have a positive effect on you, as they will be diverse, probably true and focused on your writing, not their relationship with you.

Start writing.
 

jaksen

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If this is what is keeping you from writing, or finishing a project, then DON'T TELL ANYONE.

Seriously. Keep it to yourself. I usually don't tell anyone anything until I am completely done, finished, have written the last word.

Then I show it to one person. One person. After (if) it's published anyone can read it - or not. At that point I'm too busy on the next thing to worry about it.
 

oakbark

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Here's my tip:
Think "Everyone else is a fool."

This works at least for me on all levels. If I tone my hair green, if I speak in riddles, if I walk backwards, choose not to have kids, or I tell them a story..


Here are the rules for the "Everyone else is a fool." philosophy

As long as whatever we do does not disrespect, endanger or harass other people (like having barbecue every day, or doing neighborhood burnouts every night, or taking a seat before a old lady..) or do material damage (now and future impact) on property, nature and resources, feel free to ignore whatever people say or think about you and your work.

They simply don't get it. Problem solved. Push ahead.
 

Phaeal

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Either I'm a curmudgeon and cynic or I've discovered one of the secrets of the universe, and that is:

Most people -- not all, but most -- aren't really interested in what your unwritten story's about. They're just trying to be polite by showing interest, and if the writer starts rambling on, they panic because they're not sure their eyes aren't going glassy with boredom. Also, what the hell are they going to say when the writer finishes up and stands there all nakedly vulnerable in his hope he's bowled them over?

Two solutions, for the two basic writer personalities:

Chatty: Come up with a line or two of elevator pitch (accurate or not) and leave it at that.

Nonchatty: Be honest. Say that you don't talk about unfinished work because you find that makes it slip away from you.
 

NeuroFizz

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I'm a little confused. Is the OP saying that discussion of an idea "jinxes" the project so it never ends up being finished? Is so, that just sounds like an excuse to me.

Or...Is the OP is saying discussion of an idea with someone else somehow extinguishes the flame, or otherwise diminishes the enthusiasm for that project? If so, I contend...

An idea worth developing into a full story is one that can survive any discussions, favorable or unfavorable, and will continue to tickle a writer's imagination with or without disclosure to others.

Any idea that fails to hold a writer's interest, for whatever reason, likely is not going to be a strong enough idea to carry that writer through the full writing process no matter how is it treated or discussed.
 
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Gena_Skyler

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Neurofizz, it is the second. The moment I let the cat out of the bag the idea dies inside me, no matter how brilliant it seems to me. Maybe because it is in it's most basic format had has not had a chance to fully form, I don't know.
 

Sonsofthepharaohs

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ok, now i feel like the only freak on this forum who HAS to talk about my ideas, otherwise they dry up and die in my brain. Talking it through is what gets the ideas flowing, words coming out, and it seems i can't write a scene these days without discussing it with someone first.

My cousin and my best friend are both writers, and I can talk to them for hours about my book, sometimes to the point where i worry i am just pissing them off. But they do it back to me, so it's a pretty give and take thing. If i didn't have them i think i would go insane.

They've actually done studies that showed that people who talk about a project tend to accomplish less on that project, and feel more satisfied with having accomplished less. People who don't talk about it get more done.

This explains a lot... :(

The act of talking about it gives your brain some positive feedback that fools it into thinking that it's already accomplished something concrete. If you keep all your excitement inside, there's nowhere for your energy to go except into the project itself.

I don't find this at all - as mentioned above, the opposite is the case for me. Letting the energy and excitement out is the only way to unlock it, and then i can go write it all down. Just putting butt in chair usually results in me staring at a blank screen and wishing i had someone to bash ideas around with.
 
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mfarraday

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I get extremely excited about my ideas and shout them from the rooftops. That doesn't dampen my enthusiasm usually. But AW'ers pointing out the lack of logic in my ideas, can and does sometimes set me back. LOL. Good luck!
 

Marian Perera

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ok, now i feel like the only freak on this forum who HAS to talk about my ideas, otherwise they dry up and die in my brain.

I'm sure there are other people who have to talk about ideas - like those who do collaborative work. I doubt they could discuss ideas for new books with their writing partners if the discussion actually prevented them from writing the books.

I can talk about ideas or keep them a secret, no difference either way. Sometimes it helps me to talk, if the other person I'm talking to is a good brainstorming partner or wall to bounce ideas off. But it's not a requirement.
 

LupineMoon

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I don't tell my family because my family doesn't understand my love of writing. I'm the artistic child of a doctor and an engineer, they just don't get it. And I do share some ideas with friends, mostly because at least this year's NaNo is a collaborative project. I'm doing the writing but I'm getting help with setting up the universe.

And I agree. I have a friend who shares many of her ideas with me, and by the time she gets to publishing, I pretty much know the entire story and find I can't really read the books because I know what's going to happen.
 
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