Ray's House of Love (Volume II)

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StoryG27

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Komnena, while spending money on in-between sizes is never fun, I can't sympathize a lot with your 'problem.' (Good for you!) Despite my efforts, I'm still going the other direction.

Maryn, who will soon just buy tents
Thrift stores are perfect for the inbetweens.

Komnena, glad to hear your diagnosis is actually helping you get healthy. It takes a lot of determination and strength to take something bad and make it somewhat of a positive.

I've lost 7 lbs in the 11 days Hubby has been gone. I'm curious to see if he'll notice. I'm curious to see if I'll keep it off when he comes home (today, btw!).
 

tjwriter

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I'm really hoping to join the gym up the street from work and swim a couple of days a week before I go into work. My mom said she would let me bring the girls early a couple of days a week. I need to exercise, strengthen the area around my hip and lose some weight.

I think I'm going to set the goal to lose 25 lbs this coming year.


Oh, and I'll give a very small huzzah. When I talked to the hubs at lunch, we were discussing what was going on this weekend and if I was planning on going to the store and would be late this evening. He sounded like he was hoping he could run an errand and be back before I got home with the girls. He also used some of the phrases from our discussion last night and seemed keen on laying out the plans for weekend and what was going on.

I really hope these are positive steps I'm seeing and not my imagination. I know that I am far from perfect, but I'm willing to put effort if he is. It's just hard when you are completely exhausted and you feel like the other person doesn't care at all.
 

Cassiopeia

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We had an argument/talk thing last night in bed. He thinks I pay no attention to him and I think he pays no attention me. Among other things. The last thing I said before I fell asleep was that he needs to act like he wants to be treated. His body language always screams go away, so I do. I listed all the things he does that tell me he wants to be left alone, which cause him to be left alone. He also acted I was supposed to rejoice and praise the heavens that he did housework. I told him he needed to do it consistently because he was supposed to be doing it anyway.

It was pretty unresolved when I fell asleep. He seems to have a hard time understanding that drop dead exhaustion causes me to pass out cold about 30 seconds after my head hits the pillow and that if I can't take care of me, I can't take care of the kids or him or our relationship. I told him we ought to sit down and come up with a plan so that we both know what the expectations are and what we should be doing.

He was pretty nice to me this morning, so we shall see if anything I said sunk in.
Did you thank him though for pitching in and doing housework? If you don't recognize what he DOES do, he is less likely to do more in the future.

The problem I see, tj, and this is the only thing I'm going to say cos I don't know the whole situation, is that you are "telling" him. You're not asking him.
 

lucidzfl

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Hey guys, where is Ray anyway? He hasn't posted since before thanksgiving...
 

tjwriter

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I told him very plainly that I appreciated the things he does around the house and it means a lot to me when he helps out because things go more smoothly.

But I also told him that it seems like whenever I tell how much I appreciate what he does, then it will be weeks before he'll lift a finger again. The first few times, I thought he just needed the ecouragement and recognition to keep going with it, but he do something and it'd be four or five weeks before he'd help out again.

I told him that I'm not going to drop on my knees and praise the heavens he did something because that seems to make him not do it again. If he really wants my encouragement, he's going to have to get consistent. I always give him a low key thank you when he helps. Most people like to be told thank you, so I try to do that a lot for anyone.

Our lunchtime conversation was very encouraging, so I'm going to see how tonight goes. He's got some people he's going to help out this weekend, and I was thinking of taking the girls shopping early tomorrow for my work's angel tree gifts and clothes for the older girl, so we did coordinate our plans, which was nice since he's so anti-plan most of the time.
 

Cassiopeia

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I told him very plainly that I appreciated the things he does around the house and it means a lot to me when he helps out because things go more smoothly.

But I also told him that it seems like whenever I tell how much I appreciate what he does, then it will be weeks before he'll lift a finger again. The first few times, I thought he just needed the ecouragement and recognition to keep going with it, but he do something and it'd be four or five weeks before he'd help out again.

I told him that I'm not going to drop on my knees and praise the heavens he did something because that seems to make him not do it again. If he really wants my encouragement, he's going to have to get consistent. I always give him a low key thank you when he helps. Most people like to be told thank you, so I try to do that a lot for anyone.

Our lunchtime conversation was very encouraging, so I'm going to see how tonight goes. He's got some people he's going to help out this weekend, and I was thinking of taking the girls shopping early tomorrow for my work's angel tree gifts and clothes for the older girl, so we did coordinate our plans, which was nice since he's so anti-plan most of the time.
Oh, I missed you saying something about a lunchtime conversation.


Ray, is busy writing quite a novel. So I expect he's busy.
 

Cassiopeia

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So, I'm trying to digest what took place today. After everything I've gone through in the last 18 months it's kind of hard to believe.

I met with my wonderful professor. He took my porfolio from me, and shook my hand, offered me a seat and said, "Can you write or what?" I was staring at the pile he stuck my portfolio in. He chuckled and said, I have already determined your grade, Kim. There's no worry, there. But YOUR work? I'm saving it for a bit later because I want to have time to really enjoy it."

I was dumbfounded. I just smiled and said thank you. (yeah like since when am I at a lack for words, right?) So then he asked me about the PHD I want to get after finding out how much longer I have to finish my bachelor's. He said, "get out of here...hurry."

Now that kind of worried me, I'll be honest, because I've got four semesters blocked out and that's putting me at graduating at the end of spring term 2011. Full time school. No more part time. And he said, "get yourself organized, take as much as 20 credit hours per term, if you can."

My eyes must have looked like they were going to pop out of my head. Because then he said, "Kim, with the way you write, you are doing graduate level work for undergraduate classes, get out of here as fast as you can. You'll do great in your graduate studies."

Then he told me his plan. He wants to mentor me. So he said he's going to gather about 6 more of the professors at UVU, from the classes I take and he will have them form a committee and when it's time to apply for my PHD program (combination masters and PHD) they will have schools for me to pick from and a way to gather the funds to do it with.

My stunning ability to verbalize my feelings of gratitude came out with, "Wow." Oh yes, MIZZ Communications and that's all I could come up with.
That and, thank you soo much.

We then moved on to his essay. I said to him that I wept for about an hour, (I kid you not, it was amazing what he had written) and wondered if I might give him some feedback on it. He said, yes please. and he had that look on his face that I get when I am thinking, Oh thank you God. So I told him, I thought he should flesh it out some more...work on some of the descriptions so they carry throughout it. Make it into not only a book but take it on the lecture circuit, make it into an actual program or class for the university. I thought he was going to jump up and kiss me he was so overjoyed.

He asked if he could send an updated version because the one I had, he'd already sold to a company back east and he was lecturing to a group over the internet. I was like. Wow. (I know I'm just so articulate) So then he said, I may have to hire you Kim. I need help with this.

(Okay so this is where I kept my cool) I said, I'd love to be a part of it. (while wanting to scream and jump up and down) Then I said, I've actually brought you my resume as well, hoping you might know someone who needs me for full time work. He looked at me and said, I know just the person. *sqeee* So next week, he's going to try and arrange a meeting with a man who has a brand new company with a newly patented method for storing toxic waste safer. And he's going to need 160 people hired in the next two years. (I KNOW RIGHT!? MISS HR HERE). So who knows but, wow.

So, then I had to go, another meeting for me with the Women's Resource Center for the university. And before I go he said, "Kim, is it okay if I hug you. I feel like things just fell into place for both of us." (Oh yes, he wants my body. NOT) I left there.

My meeting overran with him so I had only 10 minutes with Peggy who is the department head for the WRC. After ten minutes of being with her, she said, "I want you to help me form a new center." She paused. "You are just amazing. I'd like you to help me organize and launch a new center for mentoring women. Will you help me?"

Well of course I said....WOW! Then I told her, I'd love it. (I'm sure this is volunteer) She gave me a list of resources for scholarships for women like me, another contact at the university for leadership and the honors program. And away I went.

I'm sitting here thinking...is this for real? I mean..for real...REAL?


So, how was your day?

*falls face first into the hottub*
 

Maryn

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Wow, Kim, that's great. I knew we weren't the only people you'd impressed.

Maryn, managing to underwhelm everyone
 

Komnena

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Well done, Cassi!!!
I didn't walk this morning. My foot hurt too much. Now I'm worried that if I can't walk I can't get the weight off. I think I will go to a pharmacy today and see if they can recommend some kind of cream or something.
 

sassandgroove

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Hi all.

Well after my training thing I felt sick and left work early. I had a massive sinus headache. So I camped out on the couch and hubby made me soup.

Cassi- good for you.

TJ i hope this is a step in the right direction for you. HUG.

Komnena, glad things are going well for you.

OBM, sorry to hear your woes. I wish I could help, but I don't know what to say.

I still don't feel great but I should probably get up and at least try to do things, eh?
 

Cassiopeia

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Okay so I'm totally wiped out today. Totally. So much so, I've decided to plant my butt in this chair and edit an old WIP that I ditched for NaNo.

I'm also slowly making my way through my professor's essay...he just sent the first revision, 18 pages.
 

Maryn

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I have written 1000 words, shoveled the driveway some more, made a pizza from scratch with a crust so good Mr. Maryn tore it off and ate it separately, and--oh, my!--washed the dinner dishes. Can I have a beer now, please?

Maryn, ready to relax
 

Cassiopeia

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I have written 1000 words, shoveled the driveway some more, made a pizza from scratch with a crust so good Mr. Maryn tore it off and ate it separately, and--oh, my!--washed the dinner dishes. Can I have a beer now, please?

Maryn, ready to relax
*passes Maryn her beer*

I'm not getting anywhere, I'm fried. I might just have to go sit in front of the TV and veg for the rest of the night.
 

Komnena

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empties low sugar brown rice chips into bowl to go along with beer, even though Maryn has no sympathy for my sudden need for new clothes.
 

Komnena

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I got mine from a health food store called Whole Foods. I've bought similar products from Walmart.
 

Maryn

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We had popcorn and Crystal Light and I still feel guilty. It's terrible, to feel guilt any time you're full.

Maryn, doing no holiday baking except December 24 and 25
 

StoryG27

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Talk about feeling guilty, I had a big soft pretzel with cheese dip. It was soooo good, but I knew I was being bad. I did skip the cheesecake though, so that's gotta count for something. I still have to make sugar cookies for the holiday, and that is going to be a huge test of will power for me. I love those stupid things.
 

Komnena

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The Walmart I mentioned also has Crystal Light popsicles. I think I'll try them when spring comes. Popcorn is on the menu for lunch. Last night I had spinach and artichoke dip, which I'm sure is very bad for me. I did, however, have grilled salmon and seasonal veggies as the main course. I've been pleasantly surprised at how good grilled fish can be.
 

Maryn

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Komnena, the cooking board has my favorite salmon recipe when you get tired of just grilling it. 22 minutes, start to finish, if you're reasonably quick with a knife, low in fat, low in calories. We have it once every ten days or so. It's salmon with spinach and fresh tomatoes, and unlike most fish dishes, it's greater than the sum of its parts and doesn't taste especially fish-like.

Maryn, making lamb tonight
 

Komnena

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I've always been a seafood lover, but before I usually had it fried. Fried is out now. Baked, grilled and broiled are in for me now.
I bought three pairs of fourteens from the upscale thrift store in a mall basement. It was buy two get one of equal or lesser value free sale and hubby and I have taken full advantage of said sale. Their goods tend to cost more than most thrift stores but they pretty much sell quality merchandise.
 

Maryn

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Okay, I'll admit it in front of everybody--I'm so jealous! 14 is just a fond memory, for me.

Maryn, who should go walking, snow or not
 
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