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what to leave out? what to write?

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rwm4768

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Are you familiar with the term "scene break"?

She got in her car and headed out.

#

Two hours later she pulled into the parking lot.

Unless something significant happens along the way, what else does the reader need to know?

caw

This.
 

tiddlywinks

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I struggled with this when I wrote a travel novel and needed to shorten it. I asked myself three questions: What's the primary plot? (Travel from point A to point B). What's the subplot? (MC's personal journey from emotional point A to emotional point B). What do I want the reader to take away from this story? (A greater message about the state of things) If a scene did not directly show one of these three things, I left it out.

The "rule" (which is really a guideline) is that you include only that which either illuminates character or drives the plot. Everything else is omitted or glossed over. Maryn, who writes fat, then deletes or condenses

A good rule of thumb is that every scene, heck, every sentence, needs to contribute to the story. Now, there's wriggle room in terms of what does this. Plot and characterization are clearly important to story, but if you write speculative fiction, world building can be important too (at least where it influences your character and plot). Readers of SF and fantasy sometimes enjoy "connecting scenes" that simply show the reader a bit of the world as the character walks from point A to point B.

Leave in: The important stuff.

Leave out: The boring stuff.

More seriously, I'd vote write it all so you aren't dithering as to whether to include something or not, then edit judiciously.

:e2writer:

*Furiously taking notes on sound advice, eyes bloated novel drafts with renewed determination*
 

BethS

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I understand all the points being made but see like on her mission to find her son she has to drive a two hour trip. I'm just not sure how to get her from point A to point B without making the reader think it was only 2 mins down the road. She's stressed and she's speeding because there is something that going to happen if she doesn't find hI'm in two days but I can't figure out how to let the reader understand with going over every detail

One way to do it would be to blend her internals (what she's thinking, and what she's experiencing emotionally) into a summary of the trip. You certainly don't detail the whole two-hour trip but you could write something in this vein:

Thirty minutes passed, while the countryside flicked past her window, a steady stream of billboards, barns, and broken-down fencing. Her hands were icy on the steering wheel--she couldn't seem to get warm, even with the heat at full blast--but her breathing steadied and her mind calmed, though her thoughts had a tendency to go bolting off in a panic every ten miles or so. But...[and here maybe you detail what she's figured out so far about her missing son].

She stopped for gas at an old Sinclair station, with one of those faded green plastic dinosaurs smiling inanely in the parking lot. [something happens at the gas station...she gets a phone call? Has a revelation?]
And so on.

Or--you could show her emotional state just as she sets out, and then write something similar to: "Two hours later, she arrived at Rocktown, feeling, if not calm, at least numb."

The point is, either use the travel time to advance the plot and show something about her, or summarize it in a handful or words, or skip it altogether. At the end of one scene she leaves. At the beginning of the next scene, she has arrived. It's really that simple.
 

Rufus Coppertop

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Summarize. Never be afraid to tell rather than show when all that's needed is a brief summary.
Wednesday morning came. Feeling fresh and clean after a shower, so-and-so got in her car and made the two hour drive to such-and-such a place.

My favourite example of narrative summary from a writing technique book goes something like this....

I wondered if I'd ever see her again. Three months later I was coming out of the methadone clinic....
 
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mdhight

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I just want to say thank you to everyone for their opinions. I understand everyones opinions is different so I have decided to try and combine them all and hope that works for my story.
 

Jamesaritchie

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Elmore Leonard's advice rings true - Leave out the parts that people don't read.

If it doesn't advance the story, it's not needed.

Jeff

Which people? And what does "needed" mean? For that matter, what the heck does "advance the story" mean? This term gets thrown around a lot, but just what does it mean? I've seldom, if ever, read a novel that needed a good bit of the description it contains, and there must be five hundred different kinds of readers who all like their novels written in different ways. As for "advancing the story" I suspect this is a nonsense term coined by a literary professor somewhere. It plays no part in much detail and description.

Elmore Leonard's advice is mostly good, but none of it is gospel, and not everyone likes his writing. Many readers skip his books completely, while grabbing on to novel with long, lush description and detail.
 

Ellie_2014

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The way I look at it, you write only what is absolutely relevant to the story. I hate when I have to wade through pages and pages of description that is completely irrelevant to the story.
 

BethS

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The way I look at it, you write only what is absolutely relevant to the story. I hate when I have to wade through pages and pages of description that is completely irrelevant to the story.

Relevancy may be in the eye of the beholder. Presumably the author thought it was relevant--if not directly, then in a tangential way.
 

Layla Nahar

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How are the books you like written? Study them and apply what you learn to your writing.
 

Reziac

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Write the interesting stuff -- that is, what on rereading your manuscript, you still find interesting. Readers with tastes similar to yours will also find it interesting. Readers with different tastes might not, but you are not writing for everyone; you're writing for your audience.

Transitional scenes can be interesting (all sorts of crap happens along the way and she almost doesn't get there) or compacted because nothing interesting happened (she speeds for two hours and arrives without significant mishap, per several examples above).
 

Roxxsmom

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The way I look at it, you write only what is absolutely relevant to the story. I hate when I have to wade through pages and pages of description that is completely irrelevant to the story.

You do, but that's why some people read genres that transport them to different places and times. They love that lush description that transports them to another place and time.

Some, not all, of course. That's why there's no writer who is universally loved or popular.

How are the books you like written? Study them and apply what you learn to your writing.

Good advice. Of course, most of the books I love are long fantasy epics with high word counts, and I've been told that agents and editors are leery of picking these up from new authors. So therein lies the rub. Figuring out how to get that lush feel without a high word count.
 
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Jack Oskar Larm

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Advancing the story and keeping it all relevant is something that usually becomes clear when you start editing, especially for those writers that do little planning and just let the story unfold as it goes.
 

mdhight

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Advancing the story and keeping it all relevant is something that usually becomes clear when you start editing, especially for those writers that do little planning and just let the story unfold as it goes.

And that is exactly what I do. I have never even used an outline for an essay so I havent ever tried to use one for a novel, but I do have a plan for what I want to happen.

I asked this question because everytime I post something everyone says it is to descriptive, but when I take stuff out it just doesnt seem like my writing anymore.
I am just trying to find a happy medium but it is alot harder than I thought.
 

Galumph_Triumph

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King also said, "your final manuscript = your first draft - 10%."

Write it out, then cut out all the fluff. Cut out huge swathes all at once. Cut out everything unnecessary.
Do what Twain said: if you catch an adjective, kill it.
 
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