The Daily Rejection

Speaking of chocolate, Carleree, you should really stop by Thomas Haas next time you're in town. I just got some of their cardamom almond chocolate for my wife, she let me have one and I have to say, it's probably the best chocolate I've had. The kind that you sit still for a few minutes after it's all melted away to savour the diminishing taste.

Your wife sounds like good people, DJ. She "let you have one" and I'm betting she kept the rest for herself. That's what I'd do.

What a wonderful husband! Buying chocolate, giving it to your wife instead of, say, eating or hiding it...

Pardon me, but chocolate deprivation -- when I'd promised myself a bit of this stuff all day -- is not a laughing matter.

The bum, er...divine consort didn't take his phone, so I can't even call and ask. I'm watching the baseball game, and every break I'm jumping up and checking possible hiding sites. He's been especially tricky this time. I can usually find things. Grrr.

still laughing...

It was one thing when you claimed to be a mass murderer in a previous life (to explain your karma). But to mock someone in the throes of chocolate lust? You have no shame, woman.

Still looking...I found the wrapper for the penultimate chocolate bar we'd purchased...and HAD been sharing equally.

I should know better than to laugh out loud. I'm having a caffeine withdrawal (out of pop) and laid down to clear my head. Instead my son had a screaming tantrum like I've never seen. That'll teach me.

So, I received a rejection on a partial today. I took a long nap after that and just as I was waking up I heard a voice whisper, "Face it, it's not the agents. The book is good, but it's just not good enough." Even though the agent that rejected my full who I feel actually read the thing had good things to say about it - it just wasn't his type of thing, and he probably actually meant it - I'm so sick of staring at the same page on Querytracker, lol. I want to start afresh. So I decided that I will move on, focusing solely on another novel I'm writing, and send that out when it's polished while still partially hoping that an agent will respond favorably to this book. I still have a lot of hope for it, but I think it would be best to walk away and just give something else a look for a while.

But damn it, I knew it would be hard, just not this hard. I know I haven't been in the game for as long as some of the other people on AW (five years on a single book seems like a lot), but it seems difficult to keep up when you feel that there could be other valuable things you could do with your time. So, I'm waving the white flag, for now. I guess I'm not completely out of the game, as I'm still writing, but I'm fine with giving up for at least a little time.

BlossomQueen said:

So, I received a rejection on a partial today. I took a long nap after that and just as I was waking up I heard a voice whisper, "Face it, it's not the agents. The book is good, but it's just not good enough." Even though the agent that rejected my full who I feel actually read the thing had good things to say about it - it just wasn't his type of thing, and he probably actually meant it - I'm so sick of staring at the same page on Querytracker, lol. I want to start afresh. So I decided that I will move on, focusing solely on another novel I'm writing, and send that out when it's polished while still partially hoping that an agent will respond favorably to this book. I still have a lot of hope for it, but I think it would be best to walk away and just give something else a look for a while.

But damn it, I knew it would be hard, just not this hard. I know I haven't been in the game for as long as some of the other people on AW (five years on a single book seems like a lot), but it seems difficult to keep up when you feel that there could be other valuable things you could do with your time. So, I'm waving the white flag, for now. I guess I'm not completely out of the game, as I'm still writing, but I'm fine with giving up for at least a little time.

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Here, you can have the last piece of chocolate egg
Don't give up - for starters, you got someone reading your full, and that in itself is great. I would love a full request

Hathor said:

Sorry for the Rs, tri and LadyA.

And thanks for the chocolate, LadyA. Have you tried posting your first few pages over on Share Your Work? Perhaps folks can figure out what tweaks to try. Of course, opinions vary, which is why you can't tell much from R, particularly a form one.

I have the same situation with my fiction, although I've yet to query the sucker (a wonderful beta got halfway through and her computer got sick, so I'm waiting). I don't even have a dead body on page one. The tension is supposed to build throughout the book.

Do you really need all the character development in the beginning, rather than dribs and drabs through your book? Perhaps you can find the most telling or interesting action or conversation and include that. Readers can be proven wrong as they read further, but a character has to seem interesting so they'll do so.

My first draft had all sorts of background information and psychological insight about my narrator in the first pages. I managed to weed much of it from there without losing anything.

Since you raise the question yourself, perhaps you know the answer already: you have to tighten up your beginning. Only put in what absolutely has to be there to make it seem an intriguing story with intriguing characters. Once you get an agent and are doing rewrites, you can always redevelop the MMC, if need be.

So consider this the kick in the arse you know you need. You can take it. You have chocolate.

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Thanks

I've posted the first scene/page on SYW, and tweaked it accordingly, but I think it's the following pages that let it down. Do you think the peeps at SYW would fancy reading, like, four A4 pages worth?

LadyA said:

I've posted the first scene/page on SYW, and tweaked it accordingly, but I think it's the following pages that let it down. Do you think the peeps at SYW would fancy reading, like, four A4 pages worth?

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I don't see why not. No harm in trying, is there?

BlossomQueen -- at least you haven't given up. Good. Sometimes the best thing we can do is not look at something for a while. When you look at it again -- particularly with experience writing another book -- you may see things that you didn't notice before. (I'm finding this to be true of my NF.)

I do hope you're not giving up too soon on book one, though. How many queries have you sent out? But, then again, perhaps you were getting into the whole even-numbered vibe yesterday

Carleree -- finally got some chocolate. My husband was merely clueless, not venal. So he put the chocolate in a new location...a shelf I've never been able to reach (or even see the contents) for the twenty-seven years we've lived in this house. The man simply can't remember I'm a foot shorter than his is. Domestic tranquility restored.

Congrats on the Nucks win. I have to admit I enjoyed the Pens victory, only because it was embarassing to the Flyers on their home ice. Now the Pens can looooose. Once again, I have baseball tickets for the same time as a Caps game. I suppose I'll sit there with a constantly refreshing smartphone like I did for the last game. Wish us luck tonight-- you don't want the Bruins to win, do you?

My NF is shrinking steadily. Once I take care of the wordiness, I need to deal with the wonkiness. Perhaps I will segregate certain discussions for the perusal of those interested, safely away from folks who'd break out in hives with any mention of statistics.

I do not want the Bruins to win. That would make me very angry. And while I dislike Crosby very much, I dislike the Flyers more. You can see my problem, I'm sure. Just glad the Canucks got a good, clean win last night.

I'm hoping for a Caps win Have fun at the game, Hathor.

Yeah, in the best of worlds, neither Pennsylvania team would advance. But the Pens are so whiny and arrogant, plus have Arron Asham, a major goon who beat down one of our young players for no good reason, then taunted him as he lay bleeding and unconscious on the ice. And the Pens fans cheered this performance.

I should enjoy the baseball game. We're actually winning these days, mostly from pitching. We have the highest average velocity for our starters for any team in history and they all have nasty other pitches as well. So lowest team ERA, most strikeouts, etc. in the majors, last I looked. Now...if we could hit...

I am thoroughly enjoying the slow start of the Phillies. Their fans invade our park for games, holding up signs calling it "Citizens Bank Park South." And get drunk, curse, boo, etc. At least none of them has vomited deliberately on anyone here. That was done back up in Philly. My daughter (who lives in Philly) would love to go to a Nats game up there, but she's too scared she'd be attacked. It happens.

Always nice to have a hated rival, right? Who's the nemesis of the Nucks?

Um...everyone? Aren't the Canucks the most hated team in the NHL?

I think the Bruins took over that spot this year Carleree.

Canucks seem to develop a new nemesis every year. For a while it was Chicago. This year it was the Bruins (in spite of limited play with them). Now it appears to be LA.

I don't know about teams. I hate specific players and those dislikes don't go away if we stop playing them for a while. Take Dustin Brown--I have wanted, even begged players from the comfort of my living room, to smack that stupid grin off his face for a few years now. There aren't strong enough words to describe my hatred of Tim Thomas-and that was before we met them in the playoffs.

But that's just me.

I had no particular feelings about Tim Thomas until he refused to go with his team to the White House to celebrate the Cup victory.

I haven't noticed a particular hatred in DC for the Canucks or anyone in the west. We don't play you enough. (Remember, the Rangers' coach was fined for saying Pittsburgh was the most arrogant team in the league, etc.)

But here, there's intense antipathy toward the Penguins, then dislike for a few other teams in the east. It's like Redskins/Cowboys. We have to hate the Cowboys, even in years they aren't doing that well. (I don't know if the Wizards have a nemesis. They don't play well enough to have one. I try to avert my eyes on this sport right now.)

Well I'm pulling for the Caps on your behalf

Agent number 2 just sent a form reject to someone who submitted a full same time as me. Guess I'm next up. So nervous. I really want this one, but she only had the query, no sample pages. And can I just say again that I hate form Rs on fulls?

I'm pulling for the Caps on Tim Thomas's behalf.

And Hathor too, but mostly TT.

I hope they have a Penguin-Flyers style shooting gallery against him.

Drachen Jager said:

I'm pulling for the Caps on Tim Thomas's behalf.

And Hathor too, but mostly TT.

I hope they have a Penguin-Flyers style shooting gallery against him.

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Let's pretend TT is the horse

Carleree said:

Well I'm pulling for the Caps on your behalf

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Okay, then

Why do you folks hate TT so much, other than his help beating you last year? Or is that a long, long story?

Too bad we can't have a shootout with Hendricks against him. That was so entertaining. Maybe H can get a breakaway.

Hathor said:

Okay, then

Why do you folks hate TT so much, other than his help beating you last year? Or is that a long, long story?

Too bad we can't have a shootout with Hendricks against him. That was so entertaining. Maybe H can get a breakaway.

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He's just beyong arrogant. I think that's why. At least that's why I hate him.

TT is just an arrogant ass, and that smirk he gets when he wins just makes me want to punch him in the face.