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how do you decide which sentence to pick

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jaus tail

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Hello, everyone,

I let my novel stay closed in the computer for a week, yesterday when I opened it there were two versions of a chapter. The original one and a revised draft.

Some scenes were better described in the original one. Cleaner sentences.

But I don't know how to select. How do you know which sentence to select among the different drafts? Both of them appear nice.
 

KTC

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I only ever write one version. I don't keep any changed documents, so I have never come to a point where I need to choose between one and another option. What I have is the only thing.

If it helps, I would suggest reading everything OUT LOUD. What sounds best to the ear is probably the best option. I find all my stumbling points when I read out loud to myself. It's a must for everything I write. (Which makes me sound really crazy when I'm writing plays IN the theatre and I'm on the stage reading lines to myself...that's usually when a cleaner or a straggler comes shuffling in and I can see the desire to scream written all over their face.)
 

chompers

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I agree. Read the sentences aloud. Which sounds better, has a better rhythm?

I personally don't read my sentences aloud because I'm lucky in that I can actually hear it in my head when I'm reading silently, so I don't go through all that embarrassing stuff like above :) , but if I'm tripping over it in my head, guaranteed I will trip over it more when spoken.
 

Jamesaritchie

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I choose the one I like best. Is there any other way?
 

K.L. Bennett

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Like KTC, I no longer save every revision or version of a chapter/scene, so I don't have this issue. I used to, but I found myself wasting far too much time trying to decide which version was "better" and nitpicking every little difference. My writing and editing went nowhere.

Now, it's different if I'm doing something experimental, like if I want to see if a certain story works better in 3rd person over 1st. But generally speaking, the version I'm working on now is the only one saved to my system. The less I have to second guess myself over, the better.
 

WeaselFire

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Flip a coin. Random number generator. Lottery. Tarot cards. Everyone has a magic method that doesn't quite work. Have you considered picking what you think is best? Or sending the work, when finished, to beta readers to see what they may think?

Jeff
 

Neegh

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How do you know which sentence to select among the different drafts? Both of them appear nice.

Then pick the one which is more concise. Be cause, your first obligation in writing is to be understood.
 

Brightdreamer

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Then pick the one which is more concise. Be cause, your first obligation in writing is to be understood.

+1

You can nitpick and dither all day/week/month/year/decade/lifetime long. Ultimately, you're writing to tell a story. Which sentence tells the story better? In first or close third, which matches the voice of the POV character better? At some point you're going to have to be the Author and pick one.
 

CAMueller

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You can nitpick and dither all day/week/month/year/decade/lifetime long. Ultimately, you're writing to tell a story. Which sentence tells the story better? In first or close third, which matches the voice of the POV character better? At some point you're going to have to be the Author and pick one.

+1

I'm much like the others above in committing to changes and not keeping multiple versions, however, I'd remind you that you can merge the two drafts. Take what's the best from version A and the best from version B to create the final version.
 

Neegh

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+1

I'm much like the others above in committing to changes and not keeping multiple versions, however, I'd remind you that you can merge the two drafts. Take what's the best from version A and the best from version B to create the final version.

Of course. Likewise you can also merge two sentences--ya know, take one clause from one, and one from the other.
 

gettingby

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Hello, everyone,

I let my novel stay closed in the computer for a week, yesterday when I opened it there were two versions of a chapter. The original one and a revised draft.

Some scenes were better described in the original one. Cleaner sentences.

But I don't know how to select. How do you know which sentence to select among the different drafts? Both of them appear nice.

Are you talking about one sentence? I don't think one sentence is going to change things too much. And if your options are both "nice," I don't see what the real problem is. You just have to pick one, which might be easier said than done.

Last year, I wrote three completely different drafts of the same short story. They were actually completely different approaches to the topic, but had the same characters and same story going on. I workshopped all three versions, and each version drew in mixed reactions. I was left unsure of which way had been the best to tell this story. So, I sent them all out to journals (different versions to different publications). I haven't heard anything yet, but if one gets picked up, I will know that was the best version.

My point is that even if you seek the opinion of others, you might not be sure of which draft is better. Maybe try reading the chapter before this one and the chapter after to see which one fits the best in terms of the whole novel.
 

Jamesaritchie

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Every sentence matters. Every sentence. There's a lot more to good writing than just being concise, or just making what you say easily understood. If this were the case, we'd all be writing at first grade level. See Dick run. See Jane laugh. See Spot jump.

A good sentence needs rhythm, flow, mood, and tone. Even a very short sentence that can't necessarily manage much in the way of rhythm, flow, mood, and tone on it's own should blend with the sentences before and after it, gaining these things from them. A good sentence trips easily off the tongue. It sings, it takes sudden left turns into truth, and it surprises.

I always take the sentence I like most. There is no other way. But I may rewrite that sentence five times, or ten times, or twenty-five times before I like it enough to keep it. I rewrite every sentence over and over and over until it does everything I want it to do. Then I choose it.

If you're having trouble choosing between sentences, chances are good that both are pretty generic, and you new a new sentence to replace them
 

DancingMaenid

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If the revised scenes are cleaner and better-described, it seems like that would be the better option.

In any case, though, I doubt it's necessary to choose only version A or version B. If there are things you like about each version, see if you can combine them.
 

jaus tail

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I had saved the earlier draft. When i make a revision, i save a copy of the original final thinking that,
maybe i'll come back to this later.
now i have
chapter 1, chapter 1 new with changes, chapter 1 revised, chapter 1 final
all the way to ten chapters
i am scared even opening the earlier files. what if they have something important.
i have notes on my mobile that i am scared to read. on last page of books. in usb stick. everywhere.
 

mccardey

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I had saved the earlier draft. When i make a revision, i save a copy of the original final thinking that,
maybe i'll come back to this later.
now i have
chapter 1, chapter 1 new with changes, chapter 1 revised, chapter 1 final
all the way to ten chapters
i am scared even opening the earlier files. what if they have something important.
i have notes on my mobile that i am scared to read. on last page of books. in usb stick. everywhere.

Since the later ones have been written to improve on the earlier ones, can't you assume that the latest iteration is the best?

It might be better to leave the rewrites till the thing is finished - you'll probably get further along, and you can go back and revise having found the voice you want for the whole book, rather than what's "best" for that chapter.
 

jaus tail

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i've started going through the notes and deleting them, once and for all.

the minions in my mobile have been dealt with by shunting the heart's fear that one of the minion could be my long lost friend.

now, the armies in my laptop are stuck to it like algae on a carcass. sifting through them with my finger nails and fine eyes to check for any lotus seeds, i'll have to soon set them ablaze.

their fires shall rise to the sky, cover the moon and close the hope that the novel could've been better.

:p
 

mccardey

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i've started going through the notes and deleting them, once and for all.

the minions in my mobile have been dealt with by shunting the heart's fear that one of the minion could be my long lost friend.

now, the armies in my laptop are stuck to it like algae on a carcass. sifting through them with my finger nails and fine eyes to check for any lotus seeds, i'll have to soon set them ablaze.

their fires shall rise to the sky, cover the moon and close the hope that the novel could've been better.

:p

Brave man! Sometimes you just have to trust your progress.

ETA: Here's another thing - you probably already do this, but a handy way to save drafts is by date with an alphabetic progression. So - I saved my work four times today, as 20150128a 20150128b etc.
 
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