Way To Go Florida: Governor Signs Law That Accidentally Bans All Computers & Smartphones

Welp, I'm never going to Florida.

Always read the small print! Example #10,168,435,642.

Jeez, folks are acting like the legislators and the governor are supposed to actually READ this stuff. /snark

RedandGold said:

I'd ask members from Florida to comment - but they can't actually use anything that could connect with the internet anymore.

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At least not without being outlaws. Maybe we should start a bail fund drive for them.

Bail fund? No, let them sit in a cell until they figure it out. Should keep them out of our hair. The definition of a gambling device would ban tables and chairs, too, ffs. Where do they think poker gets played? And people can bet on marbles and penny-pitching, too. Better pull up all the pavement, pronto.

Shitwits.

I've always suspected too much warm weather rotted peoples brains. Now I have proof.

LOL! don't know if I should laugh at this or cry!

You...you mean we've finally gotten rid of Robovowels?

Or, you know, they could just legalize gambling so stupid stuff like this doesn't come up.

As a Floridian, I give y'all permission to go ahead and have a good laugh over this. I mean, this has to be a joke, right??

As if I needed any more incentive to move my happy ass on outta here!

Once again, I'm ignoring the law. Oh, my. *Yawn*

Or as Professor Bernardo de la Paz put it:

I will accept any rules that you feel necessary to your freedom. I am free, no matter what rules surround me. If I find them tolerable, I tolerate them; if I find them too obnoxious, I break them. I am free because I know that I alone am morally responsible for everything I do.

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I really find it irritating that one stupid move by a politician indicts an entire state and gives free rein to ridicule that state, and by extension, it's populace. Hello?

Seriously. Won't visit? Think we're all outlaws? Think the warm weather rots brains? Fucking fabulous. Here's an idea: Save your brain and stay in your own apparently perfect state.

Criticize the law, the act, the person or people responsible, but don't conflate it as being a "Florida" thing. That's just ignorant.

ETA: and I see it all the time here on P&CE. Oh yeah, those TEXANS. Oh yeah, those NEW YORKERS. Or, Oh yeah, see that bill North Carolina/South Carolina/Virginia/Georgia/South Dakota/WHOTHEFUCKEVER just passed? "Those" people? Yeah those ... insert the fucking state, and make your blanket statements about the people in it.

STOP it already. Address the ISSUE. Put aside the blanket judgments about the people in those states who actually LIVE there and might possibly be having to deal with all of the bullshit.

/rant

Nice rant. She has a point. There are enough specific targets for the finger pointing and derision that we don't have to throw a wide net.

After all, this is the same state that inspired Hemingway and gave us Travis McGee and Serge Storm.

Also the beaches are amazing, we have great seafood, and we are generally so laid back that you'd think we were all stoned....

(Thanks Williebee)

Governor Signs Law That Accidentally Bans All Computers & Smartphones

...and in other news, the law's fine print contained a rider that approved same-sex unions.

Chrissy said:

Also the beaches are amazing, we have great seafood, and we are generally so laid back that you'd think we were all stoned....

(Thanks Williebee)

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Okay, your last post I agree with, but this one's over the top. Don't start promoting tourism, m'kay?

She was joking, folks. The beaches are hot, the ocean is full of sharks, the seafood kills people with allergies, the sand gets everywhere (and I do mean everywhere) and us old people are crappy drivers and get cranky if we don't eat dinner by 5. We're not all stoned because weed is horrendously expensive, and damned near everybody carries a gun. Some of us carry several. Stay home where you're safe. You'd miss all that snowy weather anyway.

Oh, and the crazies in Tallahassee are debating declaring open season on snowbirds, too.

...and I'm not gonna say a word about New York drivers.

Don said:

Oh, and the crazies in Tallahassee are debating declaring open season on snowbirds, too.

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Gee, and just in the nick of time.

Chrissy said:

ETA: and I see it all the time here on P&CE. Oh yeah, those TEXANS. Oh yeah, those NEW YORKERS. Or, Oh yeah, see that bill North Carolina/South Carolina/Virginia/Georgia/South Dakota/WHOTHEFUCKEVER just passed? "Those" people? Yeah those ... insert the fucking state, and make your blanket statements about the people in it.

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Well said, Chrissy. Can I throw poor old Massachusetts on your list too? We up here in the People's Republic have been getting that crap for years too lol.

STOP it already. Address the ISSUE. Put aside the blanket judgments about the people in those states who actually LIVE there and might possibly be having to deal with all of the bullshit.

/rant

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And this too.

Don said:

Okay, your last post I agree with, but this one's over the top. Don't start promoting tourism, m'kay?

She was joking, folks. The beaches are hot.....<snip>

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And by hot, he means HOT.

raburrell said:

Well said, Chrissy. Can I throw poor old Massachusetts on your list too? We up here in the People's Republic have been getting that crap for years too lol

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Hell yeah, absolutely. I was rummaging around in my mind for recent state "issues" on the forum. Thanks for the reminder. I'll happily include MA in my rant, and the evidence is RIGHT THERE folks, raburrell lives there. Hello??? She is awesome, and I'm quite certain she's not the only awesome one who happens to live there.

Chrissy said:

And by hot, he means HOT.

Hell yeah, absolutely. I was rummaging around in my mind for recent state "issues" on the forum. Thanks for the reminder. I'll happily include MA in my rant, and the evidence is RIGHT THERE folks, raburrell lives there. Hello???

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What states do we hear from the least?

Indiana, Iowa, Idaho? (The "I's have it)

Wyoming? (Lowest population density in the lower 48)

Hey, Arizona makes the stupidity hit list with regularity. The difference is that our politicians do it on purpose.

MM

*does the illegal-internet dance*

Honestly, Scott makes me so mad on such a regular basis. And he's such a two-faced shit on top of it. A few months ago he was on NPR promoting his new agenda, which sounded vaguely like he'd cribbed it from a Democratic platform. Most of that agenda is out the window by now, and I have to feel a bit like he was just trying to tell the 'silly li'l libruls' what they wanted to hear so he could get elected again. Rrrgh. Can't wait to get out of this state again. :|

dfwtinman said:

Governor Signs Law That Accidentally Bans All Computers & Smartphones

...and in other news, the law's fine print contained a rider that approved same-sex unions.

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Wait, is this true or was this a joke? Too tired and brain-fried to read the fine-print, but it would be veeery interesting if that was the case.

Quote:
Originally Posted by dfwtinman
Governor Signs Law That Accidentally Bans All Computers & Smartphones

...and in other news, the law's fine print contained a rider that approved same-sex unions.

Bookewyrme said:

Wait, is this true or was this a joke? Too tired and brain-fried to read the fine-print, but it would be veeery interesting if that was the case.

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This was a meager attempt at cross-thread humor based on the "accidental" quality of the conduct.

See: http://absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?t=273173

Sounds a lot like "states' rights" to me.

caw