The Line of the Day--NO CRITTING

heyjude · May 5, 2010

cbenoi1 said:
Harry has been captured by the bad guys. Commissaire Fabrice LeFrancois is on their tail, but his car just went through a busy intersection and crashed into a parked car. Others are in hot pursuit.

-cb

Translate, please? I got about half of it, but not the interesting half!

Exile87 said:
Thanks HistorySleuth

And thanks for the welcome, heyjude. I really do need to start posting here more!

Check out the 500 words a day thread if you want some gentle encouragement during your writing successes and travails. We have a really wonderful group here, would love to have you post more! :Sun:

Oh, and somewhere around there is a "What We're Writing" thread... I'll dig it up. I'd love to hear more about what you're writing.

ETA the link to the What we're writing thread.

bigb · May 5, 2010

Great lines everyone.

I will actually write something this week. Been on a break.

heyjude · May 5, 2010

THIS IS MIDNIGHT'S, NOT MINE:

My favorite line from today:

Dave looked at me, terror plastered all over his bruised face. Blood dripped into his mouth as he whispered, "please, Sylvester, don't kill me."

"I'm sorry, Dave," I replied with a smile, pointing the Winchester at him. "Im afraid I can't do that."

Great one, Midnight! (Sorry I screwed up the quoting somehow.)

I pledge to have a Line of the Day tomorrow. There has not been nearly enough nakedness.

Midnight Star · May 5, 2010

Aw Jude you just made me smile.

It's really your favorite? Cause there are some pretty good ones here...

heyjude · May 5, 2010

Haha, that was part of your quote, you sweet thing. Mama has no favorites... :tongue

(That's what my kids tell me I have to say, anyway.)

Midnight Star · May 5, 2010

kaitie · May 5, 2010

Ooh, I loved Midnight's creepy line, too. Nice.

mtrenteseau · May 5, 2010

Not new... but it made me smile...

Carol tried a meditation technique recommended by a friend. The process of tuning out all external sensations and concentrating on a mantra seemed silly at first. Attending a “De-Stress Circle” event at a tiny apartment in the East Village at the urging of the same friend made it even sillier, but she did meet some very interesting people and found a Pinot Grigio that she absolutely adored for under ten dollars a bottle.

Midnight Star · May 5, 2010

mtrenteseau, I liked that one.

kaitie said:
Ooh, I loved Midnight's creepy line, too. Nice.

Yep, Sylvester is a creepy dude. Very. That's why I love him so much.

kaitie · May 5, 2010

I'm thinking this doesn't work as well out of context, but it's my favorite one so far today, so I'm including it anyway.

And there are things in life you hate doing because you know that, in the process, you are destroying a little bit of a person’s soul.

cbenoi1 · May 6, 2010

"Vous me mettez cette connasse aux arrêts vite fait, sinon je vais m'farcir vos couilles pour le diner,"

> Translate, please?

"Get that stupid-ass chick in jail and on the double, or I'll stirfry your balls for dinner."

It sounds better in French to be honest.

My MC is an american stuck in Paris being insulted in a language he can't comprehend. It's beyond cliche'd. But I've turned the cliche on its head. And what does he do when he's thrown a French insult? He memorizes them because it turns on his girlfriend who's back home in NYC. I'm still debating if I'm not going to dump this unusual character trait for the very reason you have outlined (need translation). But so far it spices the whole text in unusual ways.

-cb

kaitie · May 6, 2010

You know...we never learned that in French class!

heyjude · May 6, 2010

cbenoi1 said:
"Vous me mettez cette connasse aux arrêts vite fait, sinon je vais m'farcir vos couilles pour le diner,"

> Translate, please?

"Get that stupid-ass chick in jail and on the double, or I'll stirfry your balls for dinner."

It sounds better in French to be honest.

My MC is an american stuck in Paris being insulted in a language he can't comprehend. It's beyond cliche'd. But I've turned the cliche on its head. And what does he do when he's thrown a French insult? He memorizes them because it turns on his girlfriend who's back home in NYC. I'm still debating if I'm not going to dump this unusual character trait for the very reason you have outlined (need translation). But so far it spices the whole text in unusual ways.

-cb

Don't dump it! Find a way to put it in English, too. It's a fun character trait!

DocBrown · May 6, 2010

It's been a while since I posted anything in here, but as long as I had the whole day devoted to writing, I figure what the heck! FYI, Faith is the name of the Angel.

I let out a deep breath and prepared myself for the next attempt. As I was about to breathe back in a nice cleansing breath, I looked up in time to see Faith drop out of the air directly in front of me.

Now, I believe in evolution. It makes sense to me that those of my ancestors that had the most adaptable traits survived to pass them on to me. But there is one thing I've never been able to figure out. When a typical person gets startled, they tense up, flinch in some exaggerated fashion, and put on one of those faces that make you look like a silly caricature. How did this trait manage to get passed on?

I always imagine a caveman: “Ah! A saber-tooth tiger!” Scrunchy face ensues. Followed by death. Trait out of the gene pool.

But nope. There I was, startled and putting on that ridiculous face.

heyjude · May 6, 2010

Oh, Doc, I love it! That was so fabulous.

For me, Honey is a little bitter over her hubby's infidelity:

Garrett opened the truck door for her, held her hand as she climbed up. Gallant. Old-fashioned, maybe. Probably he wasn't the bigamist type.

cbenoi1 · May 6, 2010

The twins are spying on Harry in a restaurant, exchanging SMS.

LEA: Sexy voice. Gimme more. A picture tells a 1K words...

LEA: And how about something useful like hacking his phone?

Mia frowned at the implied shopping list.

MIA: Want a semen sample and his home address too?

LEA: F-U

Mia tried to cut her laugh, but coffee filled her nostrils and droplets squirted on the table. She picked up the mess in a hurry before anyone noticed.

MIA: Anytime. Bye.

-cb

Torrance · May 7, 2010

A killer describes how he overcame his humanity and dealt with the guilt in order to embrace what he believes to be his calling. I like the way he separates his conscience from himself. Need to expand on the idea and this could probably be broken into a couple of sentences... BUT NO REVISIONS... now is about finishing!

They used to haunt my sleep, coming to me in all of their broken, misshapen and bloodied gore, the phantom conjurings of a conscience that was eager to betray.

kaitie · May 9, 2010

Une line! This one's from the rewrite. I'd forgotten about it.

Last she checked, accidents didn’t shoot back.

heyjude · May 10, 2010

My Line of the Day was overheard in Panera's just a bit ago, and I am so finding a way to work it into my book.

The sheriff's not happy. Not anymore.

Torrance · May 10, 2010

Wow heyjude, that's so understated that it's fantastic. I have a sheriff a lot like Tommy Lee Jones in "No Country for Old Men", who responds to a revenge killing (committed by a friend of his), by ordering the man out of town. He agrees that it was justified, but the manner is so vile to him that he just can't stand the thought of crossing paths with his buddy at the market or at church and having to be reminded of what he did. There isn't a long emotional back and forth, just a meeting at the killer's front door and a not so subtle admonishment. Must, resist, urge, to steal....

heyjude · May 10, 2010

Steal away, Torrance! You have my blessing.

It was really one of several fascinating conversations I overheard today.

Torrance · May 10, 2010

Ah yes, we're supposed to be voyeurs... and I suppose I am... but then again, people seem so darn eager to promote themselves these days it hardly takes effort (loud phone conversations, facebook pages open to the world, the list could go on).

kaitie · May 10, 2010

I love overhearing great lines.

Anyway, I've got one today by request.

“Well, right now your choices are pack a bag or dead. In my book that’s what qualifies as an easy choice.”

Torrance · May 11, 2010

kaitie said:
I love overhearing great lines. Anyway, I've got one today by request.

Rather to the point ... I would not need to be asked twice.

Exile87 · May 11, 2010

heyjude said:
Oh, and somewhere around there is a "What We're Writing" thread... I'll dig it up. I'd love to hear more about what you're writing.

ETA the link to the What we're writing thread.

I'll make sure to post there now!

The Line of the Day--NO CRITTING

Making my own sunshine

Gun in Mouth Blues

Making my own sunshine

We are once in a lifetime.

Making my own sunshine

We are once in a lifetime.

With great power comes

Mild-mannered accountant by day...

We are once in a lifetime.

With great power comes

With great power comes

Making my own sunshine

Hopes to one day write for food.

Making my own sunshine

With great power comes

Making my own sunshine

Making my own sunshine

With great power comes

New kid, be gentle!