So I submitted a query, got a rejection the next day (I addressed it to Kristin AND Sara though... Was that a bad thing?)
Anyway, so I decided to query them one more time., with this beauty
Dear Kristin and Sara,
When famed baker Mo decides to open shop on cheap lot outside of the Martian city of Agaboo, he's expecting to sell pastries, not fight off alien uprisings. As it turns out, the bathroom of his new bakery is built on top of the entrance to an ancient underground Martian Metropolis populated by fat little green men that rise up out of the toilet like a giant green turd and try repay him for his scrumptious cupcakes with lasers to the head. Mo does what any good Martian in his circumstances would. He sues the Native Martians, and the Agabooan Supreme Court, fearing a shortage of Mo's cupcakes, opiate of the colonial martian masses, rules in his favor. The Native Martians are ordered to vacate the toilet immediately. They comply, but not on the terms the Court hoped for. The Native Martians view the ruling as an act of war, and soon thousands are spewing out of the bakery's bathroom in what the Colonial Post promises to be a an epic battle over who gets to have the cupcakes and eat them too.
Mo tries to hold his ground against this onslaught but is overwhelmed, captured, dragged into the ancient Martian city, and made to stand trial for eating cupcakes, whom, as it turns out, the Native Martians worship as Gods. He is found guilty of serial de-icide, and sentenced to anal probing. But he makes a daring escape, and with the fate of Martians, humans, and cupcakes all at stake, it is up to him to find a way to save everyone. That, or catch the first shuttle back to Earth and never look back.
One Man's God, Another Man's Cupcake is a 760,000 word mock science fiction epic written for anyone who has ever been enchanted by the divine goodness of cupcakes.
I'm an idiot, aren't I?
