Comedy Cabaret--2012 Road Trip

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Rolling Thunder

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*stomps into Cabaret*

Dammit, Mr. Starrbyrd, eyes front, please!


*ahem*


If you’re going to relentlessly post mathematical equations at least DO IT RIGHT.
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3421407-a-y-young-female-standing-at-a-chalkboard.jpg

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There. All you lurkers can stop emailing me now.

*stomps out*
[/FONT]
 

Cella

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Wow--rt's hot!




Never mind.

I had it backwards.
 
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CassandraW

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*reads founce*


meh. :e2yawn: typical newbie founce. i give it a 1.75.



here you go, kid...
http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?t=61043


don't say i never did anything for you. ;)

*tries unsuccessfully to find emoticon that gives Cray the finger*

Pffffft. I got in several different versions of the recommended founces into a single post. Yeah, I forgot to mention high school clicks, and I didn't work in William Haskins, but otherwise I call that a damn fine effort.

And lurkers agree with me in emails. Lots of lurkers.

*founces*
 

CassandraW

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*stomps into Cabaret*

Dammit, Mr. Starrbyrd, eyes front, please!


*ahem*


If you’re going to relentlessly post mathematical equations at least DO IT RIGHT.
[FONT=&quot]
[/FONT]
3421407-a-y-young-female-standing-at-a-chalkboard.jpg

[FONT=&quot]


There. All you lurkers can stop emailing me now.

*stomps out*
[/FONT]

The picture didn't do anything for me. The stomping, on the other hand...

:e2brows:
 

TrainofThought

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mrs. cray went into the local newspaper office to see that the obituary for her recently deceased husband is published.

After the editor informs her that the fee for the obituary is 50 cents a word, she pauses, reflects and then says, "Well then, let it read, ‘the battery died.'"

Confounded at mrs. cray’s thrift, the editor stammers that there is a seven-word minimum for all obituaries. She pauses again, counts on her fingers, and replies, "In that case, ‘the battery died. 1983 pick-up for sale.'"
 

Haggis

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mrs. cray went into the local newspaper office to see that the obituary for her recently deceased husband is published.

After the editor informs her that the fee for the obituary is 50 cents a word, she pauses, reflects and then says, "Well then, let it read, ‘the battery died.'"

Confounded at mrs. cray’s thrift, the editor stammers that there is a seven-word minimum for all obituaries. She pauses again, counts on her fingers, and replies, "In that case, ‘the battery died. 1983 pick-up for sale.'"
:roll:
 

TrainofThought

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When rolling thunder died, his wife put the usual death notice in the paper, but added that he died of gonorrhea. As soon as the papers were delivered, a good friend of the family phoned and complained bitterly, "You know very well that he died of diarrhea, not gonorrhea.“

His widow replied, "I nursed him night and day so of course I know he died of diarrhea but I thought it would be better for all to think of him as a great lover rather than the big shit he always was.”
 

TrainofThought

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Haggis and Mrs. Haggis went to the state fair every year. Every year Haggis would say, ”Mrs. Haggis, I’d like to ride in that there airplane.” And every year she would say, ”I know Haggis, but that airplane ride costs ten dollars, and ten dollars is ten dollars.”

One year Haggis and Mrs. Haggis went to the fair and Haggis said, ”Mrs. Haggis, I’m 71 years old. If I don’t ride that airplane this year I may never get another chance.”

She replied, ”Haggis, that there airplane ride costs ten dollars, and ten dollars is ten dollars.”

The pilot overheard them and said,”Folks, I’ll make you a deal, I’ll take you both up for a ride. If you can stay quiet for the entire ride and not say one word, I won’t charge you, but if you say one word it’s ten dollars.”

Haggis and Mrs. Haggis agreed and up they went. The pilot did all kinds of twists and turns, rolls and dives, but not a word was heard. He did all his tricks over again, but still not a word. They landed and the pilot turned to Haggis and said, ”By golly, I did everything I could think of to get you to yell out, but you didn’t.”

Haggis replied, ”Well, I was gonna say something when Mrs. Haggis fell out, but ten dollars is ten dollars.”
 

CassandraW

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*carefully sets jar containing Haggis's's's's eyeballs on the bar*
*tops it off with extra formaldehyde*
*blows a kiss at it*
*opens bottle of Laphroaig*

Haggis, dear, I brought your eyeballs here where they'd be safe. I don't trust those Funners and Floozies. Let me know if you want me to put them anywhere in particular.

*Looks up at ToT's posts*

Oh, my. The tone of this place goes further downhill every day. I'd founce, but I'm much too tired.
 

Silent Rob

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Um...new girl?

Those aren't haggis'ses's eyeballs in that jar, yanno.
 

Silent Rob

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In mah basket!

There's one there already.
 

cray

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*rehevels porter*



*dusts off hands*




there.



you're welcome, sir.
tell your friends!
 

Silent Rob

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*disses Porter*

There!

Now you're dishevelled again.

*sets ambient mood music to 'rave'*
 

Cella

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your eyes are up here.

*points*
 

Silent Rob

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*covers moobs*

Don't stare!

ETA: dammit.
 
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