Hounding After Hours

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FOTSGreg

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Right now it's fine though windy and a bit muggy. We won't see anything until after midnight according to the weather gurus, but it's about to get nasty out there.

On another note, my friend Erika got a new car today, months after her accident. Her truck was on its last legs she said. It's nice.

She's a bit cold and distant tonight, but she just came in to work so hasn't quite warmed up yet. I asked her about it and it's not me she's unhappy with.

A new car, a change in her social status, a certain distancing. <edit downer> Actually, I'm thinking she might not be going anywhere soon (it would not be good to quit a good paying job and move somewhere else with a brand new car payment hanging around one's neck).

<edit low confidence comment>

Nobody's like me. Nobody does the things I do. She does not escape my attention that easily. I just don't give up that easily. Maybe, just maybe I can give her a reason to stay or at least come back sooner.
 
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Haggis

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Besides, not like my generation is ever going to able to retire anyway. Baby Boomers sort of screwed us out of that one. You know, for a generation that was going to fix things, you lot made as mess of things.
You know we can have a very serious talk about that one some time if you'd like, Boston. But not in this forum. If you feel the need to slam an entire generation (one I happen to be a part of), take it to P&CE. And let me know when you do. I'll be sure to follow.
 

slcboston

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You did see the part where I said my generation, which is now taking over things, doesn't seem to be doing a much better job either, right?

:)

Getting sensitive in your old age, Haggis.
 

Haggis

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You did see the part where I said my generation, which is now taking over things, doesn't seem to be doing a much better job either, right?

:)

Getting sensitive in your old age, Haggis.

I just wrote a whole bunch of stuff and then deleted it. Because what I said doesn't belong in the horror forum. Your comments don't either. So I'll ask you to drop it or take it to P&CE. Okay?
 

AbielleRose

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Skating sounds like fun! It's raining pretty heavily here and is supposed to all day and night. Since I don't own an umbrella or rain boots I'm using it as an excuse to stay in all day and write :)
 

night-flyer

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Good luck with the writing, Abby. :) No rain here, but windy and chilly.
 

FOTSGreg

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Blunt, the weather here was pretty frisky overnight and early this morning, but things have calmed down quite a bit. Heavy overcast, maybe some more rain this afternoon or evening, maybe overnight again.

No real problems where I live though.

Starting to look like I'll be walking to work (8 miles each way - I'll have to leave my apartment by 4:30am to get to work on time) for at least a few days this week. Not enough money for gas, my last unemployment payment (the first of EUC) is held up for some "non-separation issue", and it looks like I won't get paid until this coming Friday for last week's work. My last $6 goes in my gas tank today.

Screwed, blewed, and tattooed. If it ain't one damn thing it's another.

Maybe I should've lied on the unemployment claim, but I'm too honest.
 

night-flyer

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:( That sucks Greg. What about your book sales? Maybe you have enough in your paypal for some gas money?
 

FOTSGreg

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Nope, I haven't seen a check from Amazon or a Smashwords deposit to PayPal in months (last Smashwords deposit was Jan 31st, 2012). Doesn't help that I found out the other day that my Amazon account had been hacked and the address was some frikkin' place in India. Smashwords owes me $18 ($24 if certain vendors would pay up) and pays 30-40 days after the end if each quarter. Amazon owes me right about that same amount if you count everything from January forward through the end of March. B&N owes me about $10 for the last quarter. I've a got a 6-7 month old check from Amazon sitting at home that I can't cash as there's no Wells Fargo locally and I don't have a Wells Fargo account (and no local merchant will cash anything over 30 days old).

Looking around I see I had a copy of Survival finally sell on Amazon. That's a great story.

I'm optimistic about my sales this year. They've been steadily growing and with PubIt sales added in it looks like I'm doing about an extra $50/quarter currently and can see that growing to around $75-100 by the end of the year (assuming I plant my BIC and get some more stuff done this year).

Aha! Those sneaky bastards. Sometime last year or early thus year Anazon appears to have changed their policy on royalty payments. For EFT you get a payment anytime you've accumulated $10 or more in royalties (60 days after the fact). But now, if you want a check, you have to accumulate $100 in royalties before the check is issued. This was not the case as of last Sept-Nov. you sneaky bastards...

Nice if Amazin to announce that in loud and clear terms.
 
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night-flyer

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:O

What a mess! Sheesh, really sorry to hear that Greg. So, did whoever hacked your account get your money? :/ Sounds like Amazon needs to secure their site better or something.
 

FOTSGreg

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Yeah, Night. I'm thinking they may have gotten at least a couple of my checks from Amazon seeing as how I haven't received a check from them in months and they owed me money.

I'm hoping I see a royalty check from them for Feb-Mar real soon as that would sure as hell help out.

Now it appears they likely did not get my money due to a change in Amazon's payment policies.
 
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FOTSGreg

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Well, just got "the message" this afternoon via email. Blah, blah, blah, "not into older guys", blah, blah, blah, "not more than 5 years older than me", blah, blah, blah, "we're not going to hook up", blah, blah, blah, "don't keep doing this thinking you're going to get with me", blah, blah.

I wrote back saying I'd expected this and it didn't make any difference to me. I'm not doing the things I've been doing for her to "get with her" necessarily. Sure, it might have been in my mind. I mean, she is gorgeous, but I'm not a complete idiot nor am I stupid. Well, actually I didn't put in that last part, but it's true.

So, I told her that if she wanted me to go away and stop coming to see her at the bar, I'd do that.

Like I said before, I'm such a fool. I knew she was feeling uncomfortable. I could sense it. I've been around the block a few times after all. Still, I thought maybe, just maybe, there was hope and that light in the tunnel up ahead wasn't an oncoming train.
 

slcboston

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Greg, man, I'm sorry.

But for future reference, the next time you think you're starting to make a woman uncomfortable, you probably are, and it's time to back off. I know you were trying hard, but there is such a thing as trying too hard.

Maybe with terms defined, though, you can still hang out a bit before she has to go away.

:)
 

FOTSGreg

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Maybe. We'll see. It doesn't mean I'm going to stop trying. Somebody probably said something to her because things changed almost overnight.

Either way, it's no big deal. It's not like this is the first time this has happened to me. I just have to accept the fact that there just isn't anyone out there for me and I'm going to die alone. I'm really kind of down right now, so forgive me for some hyperbolae when I say the sooner the better. I've known that for over 20 years and all my trying isn't going to change that. Doesn't mean I'm going to stop trying though. There's always hope - a writer's worship word. It's just that, right now, I'm kinda' down in the heart about the whole thing. There was so much promise here.

There's still promise though - and that whole "hope" thing.

Oh, and just a BTW, there were individuals here who were telling me to essentially just go for it too. Not that it made any difference because I didn't get the chance to go for it after all.

Still gonna' ask her out to the movies and dinner and whatnot though. Just don't care at this point how often I get turned down. Our stands have been made pretty clear to each other.
 
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night-flyer

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:( Sorry things didn't go the way you hoped they would, Greg. Like you said, if both of you know where the other one stands maybe you can still spend time together. If she thinks that you didn't get it, though, she may choose to stay away. So it's going to be up to you on how things go, I think. And you never know, she may change her mind before she leaves, I just wouldn't push it. :Shrug:

Even if this doesn't work out, it doesn't mean you'll never find that someone. A lot of people out there. And you're right, there's always that 'hope' thing. :)

Sorry you're hurting. :Hug2:
 

FOTSGreg

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Night, thanks, but after 35 years of looking, one has to accept certain basic facts. There's something intrinsically WRONG with me. I'm fucking 52 years old. I've never been married, have no kids, I've had one ex-girlfriend put out a hit on me, my longest relationship lasted 6 weeks and that girl left that one still a virgin (I didn't get so much as a kiss). I gravitate toward redheads, but I've loved blondes and brunettes. They leave me not the other way around. In fact, they mostly run as rapidly as they can in the other direction.

You have no idea how long it's been since I was even kissed by someone who actually liked me. Let's just say it's been well over a decade. And sex? At least that long. Fifteen or twenty years? I can't fucking remember and that girl turned out to be cheating on me with some other guy at the same time we were dating.

Do you know what it's like to not even be kissed for decades? To be alone and lonely and just trying to be stoic about it and encourage other people to excel and do their best and to do the best job and live the best life you can? To lift yourself up time and time and time again and step out and encourage others and try to give whatever you can of yourself? Can you imagine that?

That's me.

If I had lower morals or lesser fidelity to the women I fall for despite their reticence I'd hire a hooker or an escort. I just can't bring myself to do that yet.

Hell, hookers would likely run in the opposite direction too.

You'd think that a dumbass like me might get a clue after a coupla' decades and just quit trying already, but Noooo... I gotta' put my whole heart right back out there to get stomped on again like a glutton for punishment. I can't even watch TV without wondering what it would be like to be in even a destructive relationship - at least it would be something.

I hate being human... I wish I was a machine without these shutty emotional issues. Just logic and reason and efficiency and nothing to get in the way. But that's what I've been the last 20 years already...
 
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soapdish

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Hey, hounds.

*backreads, backreads, backreads*

Wha--

Oh...NO! :e2cry: This thread needs chocolate. NOW.

And booze. :idea:

And money, I see.

And apparently some sex (though I'm not offering that, btw :D ETA: or the money)

:e2grouphu
 
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night-flyer

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:( Greg.



Hey, hounds.

*backreads, backreads, backreads*

Wha--

Oh...NO! :e2cry: This thread needs chocolate. NOW.

And booze. :idea:

And money, I see.

And apparently some sex (though I'm not offering that, btw :D)

:e2grouphu

:roll:

yes, I could use all of those things, too. maybe in that order, maybe not. But really glad that you're not offering me sex, Soapy, cuz that could make our friendship a little awkward.

Now nachoes you can offer me!
 

AbielleRose

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Did someone say nachoes?

nachos.jpg


Hey Soapy baby. *sexy wink*
 
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