putting kids in daycare while you write?

Yes, this is a personal decision. And unfortunately many moms don't have much choice but to go for daycare. But I think a mom who has options and who is feeling pangs of guilt, should listen to her gut. Something is going against her mom instinct here, and that's a big red flag. Six hours a day is a LONG day for a two year old. And the time does go by so incredibly fast, with so many wonderful milestones along the way. Your child will be in kindergarten before you know it, and then you'll have plenty of time. Listen to your instinct here and do what you feel in your heart is right for you and your child.

I had the experience of trying to return to my job as a physician full-time after my first daughter was born. Every day was a struggle, because I knew where I wanted to be - with my baby. I had a wonderful nanny, but she wasn't my daughter's MOM. I whittled that job down to various very part-time schedules, including one afternoon a week for a time, LOL, and I was so much happier. Later, after each child turned three, I put my kids into a part-time pre-school - 3 days per week for two and a half hours a day - for me that was enough time to concentrate on writing, without feeling like I was abdicating my responsibility or missing out on this precious time. My older daughter LOVED pre-school. She still talks about it at age 11. Not the same for the younger one. When my younger daughter started screaming and crying for mom each time I went to drop her off, I made the decision to keep her with me at home. I've never regretted it for an instant. She had play dates for socialization, we did arts and crafts together, and she was able to read before she started kindergarten. (Our pre-school was only for creative play anyway.) I cherish the time I was able to have with them at such young ages.

I wish you the best in your decision.

You also don't need to go for a full day. What about a half-day? I do think daycare provides a child with some needed interaction with other kids; meanwhile, 2-3 hours really isn't that long, and would allow you time to write.

I don't know if my personal opinion helps, but I'd do the full time the daycare wants for a few days a week, alternating. Unless your toddler has a hard time with the long days, of course.

As far as having to have a good enough reason? That's nobody else's business anyway If I were a mom, I'd need the time for errands and me time, no doubt. I couldn't work, have kids and write. No way. If your husband and you are fine with it and it's good for the kids, that is all that matters. Even if it were all me time.

Kids don't need their parents 24/7, really. It's natural to be very socialised as well, since the dawn of time, I bet. I would venture to say that it's a bit odd to always be with a parent, actually. I'm sure that can be great, too. But it's silly to think it's necessary

I had the exact same situation, and my eighteen month old is in daycare. I felt guilty at first, but you know what? He enjoys it, I get to write, and everyone is happy.
Almost a perfect a world.

Oh, I should add that I think ALL parents feel guilt, reluctance, etc. when they first put their kids in daycare. It's just a sign that you care about your baby. I would pay attention if a particular facility gives you a bad feeling...Steer clear of that.

Just to add a slightly different slant onto it. When I was small our living circumstances were such that I had little contact with other children. Lots of adults, but hardly ever another child. As a result, when I started first grade (K was not free and my parents couldn't afford it) I did not relate well with other kids. When my brother (7 years younger than me) was small there were lots of kids my age, but none his age. My parents put him in 'play school' (in 1959 no one knew from 'daycare') for 3-4 hours a couple of days a week. It was entirely to expose him to other children. Mom did not work, and by then we had part-time household help, so it wasn't to free up her time. As far as I can tell, both of us turned out OK. Although some people might question my judgment on that.

MM