Stupid question about tense in internal monologue

hmg · 10-31-2009, 12:27 AM

I think I'm becoming jammed up on this one as a result of reading too many books in the 1st person, present tense recently.

If I'm telling a story in 1st person POV using the past tense, is it okay to use present tense for an internal monologue where the character is thinking at the present moment? Or should the thoughts always remain in the past tense as well?

I realize this seems like a rookie mistake but for some reason I'm having trouble wrapping my mind around the concept at the moment.

Sarah Christine · 10-31-2009, 12:33 AM

Like, "I wonder what it meant" versus "I wondered what it meant"?

Judg · 10-31-2009, 12:36 AM

Either one is possible. If you're reporting on what "you" thought back then, the past tense is entirely appropriate. If you want the thoughts to seem present, like dialogue, then put them in italics and word-for-word the way they would have been thought in the first place. Whatever serves the purposes of the passage the best.

AbsolutelyCate · 10-31-2009, 12:38 AM

If it's internal dialogue like here's an excerpt from mine -
"Oh, that’s fair. At the same time, I was relieved because I didn’t plan to go through that kind of nightmare again." - then it can be present tense.
But I would love to here an expert answer.

Vermilion · 10-31-2009, 12:42 AM

I write in first person POV too and I use past tense, except for the internal monologue.
I've been told that the internal monologue should always be in present tense. I don't agree fully though. For example:

What had I done? (can be in past tense)

Why is he looking at me like this? (present tense)

If the thought is narrated though (without the italics which means it's not internal monologue), I would always use past tense. For example: I wondered if I could have done things differently instead of I wonder if I could have done things differently.

hmg · 10-31-2009, 12:46 AM

Okay so are the italics a must?

I've never really liked character's thoughts in italics but that's what I'll use if it's standard industry use.

Vermilion · 10-31-2009, 12:47 AM

If you use present tense for the thoughts, you should consider using the italics, I think. Otherwise, it's jarring and makes it look as if you have mixed tenses in your story.

Judg · 10-31-2009, 12:48 AM

Italics are pretty standard when reporting thoughts in real time. It's not an absolute rule, I don't think, but most editors seem to tilt that way. But that's not a major issue, and can always be changed according to publishing house preferences.

Sarah Christine · 10-31-2009, 12:51 AM

I don't typically use italics in first person, because, well...first person is already told in their voice. Their thoughts are evident by their way of explanation, I guess?

I don't know. I've never come to a point where I thought, "I definitely need to separate this particular thought with italics." Third person, definitely, but not for me with first person.

hmg · 10-31-2009, 12:54 AM

Thanks! The confusion on tenses is exactly what I'm trying to avoid so I will use the italics. I appreciate the very prompt responses.

Sarah Christine · 10-31-2009, 12:57 AM

Good luck

If nothing else, your editor one day will be able to correct it for you.

10-31-2009, 12:27 AM	#1
hmg New kid, be gentle! Join Date: Oct 2009 Location: Massachusetts Posts: 46	Stupid question about tense in internal monologue I think I'm becoming jammed up on this one as a result of reading too many books in the 1st person, present tense recently. If I'm telling a story in 1st person POV using the past tense, is it okay to use present tense for an internal monologue where the character is thinking at the present moment? Or should the thoughts always remain in the past tense as well? I realize this seems like a rookie mistake but for some reason I'm having trouble wrapping my mind around the concept at the moment. __________________ The Number One Rule (YA Fiction)- Editing Mutual Appreciation (YA Fiction)- 30K Be aware my titles change on a weekly basis! Last edited by hmg; 10-31-2009 at 12:29 AM.

10-31-2009, 12:33 AM	#2
Sarah Christine I think you can do better. Join Date: Aug 2009 Location: Where did the floor go? (This is not an existential question.) Posts: 279	Like, "I wonder what it meant" versus "I wondered what it meant"? __________________ Scar: Trunked ftw. WatW: Trunked also ftw. WIP: FINISHED130k (I hate epics.) Twittering about your driving skills. And stuff. // Shared Art Blog for sketchbook vomit.

10-31-2009, 12:36 AM	#3
Judg Becoming a writer Join Date: Dec 2006 Location: Ottawa Posts: 4,449	Either one is possible. If you're reporting on what "you" thought back then, the past tense is entirely appropriate. If you want the thoughts to seem present, like dialogue, then put them in italics and word-for-word the way they would have been thought in the first place. Whatever serves the purposes of the passage the best. __________________ Biting the bullet and working on structural problems in WIP #1. Hard to quantify progress. I'm on MySpace, Twitter, and Facebook. "The time has come," the Walrus said, "to speak of many things."

10-31-2009, 12:38 AM	#4
AbsolutelyCate New kid, be gentle! Join Date: Oct 2009 Location: Nashville Posts: 57	If it's internal dialogue like here's an excerpt from mine - "Oh, that’s fair. At the same time, I was relieved because I didn’t plan to go through that kind of nightmare again." - then it can be present tense. But I would love to here an expert answer. __________________ "I have spent half the day putting a comma in and the rest taking it out." Oscar Wilde. My website. My twitter.

10-31-2009, 12:42 AM	#5
Vermilion Sleepless in Asia Join Date: May 2009 Posts: 116	I write in first person POV too and I use past tense, except for the internal monologue. I've been told that the internal monologue should always be in present tense. I don't agree fully though. For example: What had I done? (can be in past tense) Why is he looking at me like this? (present tense) If the thought is narrated though (without the italics which means it's not internal monologue), I would always use past tense. For example: I wondered if I could have done things differently instead of I wonder if I could have done things differently. __________________

10-31-2009, 12:46 AM	#6
hmg New kid, be gentle! Join Date: Oct 2009 Location: Massachusetts Posts: 46	Okay so are the italics a must? I've never really liked character's thoughts in italics but that's what I'll use if it's standard industry use. __________________ The Number One Rule (YA Fiction)- Editing Mutual Appreciation (YA Fiction)- 30K Be aware my titles change on a weekly basis!

10-31-2009, 12:47 AM	#7
Vermilion Sleepless in Asia Join Date: May 2009 Posts: 116	If you use present tense for the thoughts, you should consider using the italics, I think. Otherwise, it's jarring and makes it look as if you have mixed tenses in your story. __________________

10-31-2009, 12:48 AM	#8
Judg Becoming a writer Join Date: Dec 2006 Location: Ottawa Posts: 4,449	Italics are pretty standard when reporting thoughts in real time. It's not an absolute rule, I don't think, but most editors seem to tilt that way. But that's not a major issue, and can always be changed according to publishing house preferences. __________________ Biting the bullet and working on structural problems in WIP #1. Hard to quantify progress. I'm on MySpace, Twitter, and Facebook. "The time has come," the Walrus said, "to speak of many things."

10-31-2009, 12:51 AM	#9
Sarah Christine I think you can do better. Join Date: Aug 2009 Location: Where did the floor go? (This is not an existential question.) Posts: 279	I don't typically use italics in first person, because, well...first person is already told in their voice. Their thoughts are evident by their way of explanation, I guess? I don't know. I've never come to a point where I thought, "I definitely need to separate this particular thought with italics." Third person, definitely, but not for me with first person. __________________ Scar: Trunked ftw. WatW: Trunked also ftw. WIP: FINISHED130k (I hate epics.) Twittering about your driving skills. And stuff. // Shared Art Blog for sketchbook vomit.

10-31-2009, 12:54 AM	#10
hmg New kid, be gentle! Join Date: Oct 2009 Location: Massachusetts Posts: 46	Thanks! The confusion on tenses is exactly what I'm trying to avoid so I will use the italics. I appreciate the very prompt responses. __________________ The Number One Rule (YA Fiction)- Editing Mutual Appreciation (YA Fiction)- 30K Be aware my titles change on a weekly basis!

10-31-2009, 12:57 AM	#11
Sarah Christine I think you can do better. Join Date: Aug 2009 Location: Where did the floor go? (This is not an existential question.) Posts: 279	Good luck If nothing else, your editor one day will be able to correct it for you. __________________ Scar: Trunked ftw. WatW: Trunked also ftw. WIP: FINISHED130k (I hate epics.) Twittering about your driving skills. And stuff. // Shared Art Blog for sketchbook vomit.

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