Poetry.com / International Library of Poetry / Watermark Press

Angela · Jan 6, 2006

CaoPaux said:
I dare ya to take Jack to the convention, so when folks ask what your poem was, ya can say, "oh, mine didn't win, his did".

That would be too funny......and yet so sad at the same time!! LOL!!

Angela · Jan 6, 2006

Oh, and it's going to be really cool when they send him the notice that says that his poem is soooo exceptional that they're going to have a professional reader record it to a CD!! Supposedly limited to only the top 50 poems, and available for only $30.00!!! What a steal!!

PVish · Jan 6, 2006

Angela said:
Oh, and it's going to be really cool when they send him the notice that says that his poem is soooo exceptional that they're going to have a professional reader record it to a CD!! Supposedly limited to only the top 50 poems, and available for only $30.00!!! What a steal!!

He was offered that as one of his options and declined. He'd really prefer to bark out the poem himself.

Angela · Jan 6, 2006

ROFL!!! Very smart dog you have there!!

CaoPaux · Jan 6, 2006

I probably shouldn't do this... a search on that ISBN took me to this poor fellow's page. Let's play count the scam publishers. :e2cry:

http://www.myramblings.org/

ETA: But hey, it's not like he lists it in his academic credentials....

http://www.stcloudstate.edu/cose/environmentalpub.asp

ETA2: After clicking through a few pages of Google results, I finally understand how these "poetry" publishers stay in business. :Headbang:

awatkins · Jan 6, 2006

PVish said:
He was offered that as one of his options and declined. He'd really prefer to bark out the poem himself.

What a smart dog! That way he can be sure all the inflections are correct.

PVish · Jan 6, 2006

Angela said:
ROFL!!! Very smart dog you have there!!

Actually, he has problems with his rrruuuuffff drafts.

Angela · Jan 6, 2006

CaoPaux said:
I probably shouldn't do this... a search on that ISBN took me to this poor fellow's page. Let's play count the scam publishers.

http://www.myramblings.org/

ETA: But hey, it's not like he lists it in his academic credentials....

http://www.stcloudstate.edu/cose/environmentalpub.asp

ETA2: After clicking through a few pages of Google results, I finally understand how these "poetry" publishers stay in business.

I don't understand why he put the Eternal Portraits one up there.....it was never published. I checked their site, it doesn't show it as being published. I even called them about a week or two ago, and the lady on the phone verified that.

Oh, that poor man. Not only a Poetry.com victim, but a PA victim as well???? *sigh* I'm going outside for a very heartfelt scream.........maybe the neighbors won't call the police......

blackbird · Jan 6, 2006

Actually, this does sound like it operates in much the same manner as a lot of legit writing sites and forums that I'm aware of, whereby you review peer work and earn various rewards (some monetary; some not) for doing so, as well as receiving credit to post your own work. It doesn't sound like they're offering astronomical cash prizes in exchange for an entry fee. And unless they're soliciting an unusually large sum of money to join the site, it's probably legit.

However, the fact that they would solicit via email (a dog's account at that) does seem suspicious. Most of these sites which are legit do not actively solicit; you have to find them.

CaoPaux · Jan 6, 2006

Did you read the whole thread?

blackbird · Jan 6, 2006

CaoPaux said:
Did you read the whole thread?

I assume this is for me? Actually, no, to be quite honest, I only read the information given in the original post. I've since gone back and reread the other posts. My bad. Sorry.

Donna Pudick · Jan 9, 2006

A Poetry Scam?

This whole thread is very funny. I know exactly two people who've ever made money writing poetry. A local guy here wrote a poem called "Ingredients." He listed the ingredients on a ketchup bottle (one line for each ingredient) and submitted it to a national poetry contest. Naturally, he was informed that he was a finalist. The scammers actually tried to justify their choice when confronted by the "poet."

I'm truly offended, however, that NONE of you gave any credit to the poetry of CATS. My felines are crying in their tuna juice! Bandito Frito Bandito hasn't left his leaf pile all day. Big Sarah is off her feed, and One Brown Toe's pulling her fur out. They are wonderful poets--many cats are.

A sample of their work is available on request.

dp

PVish · Jan 25, 2006

The scamkeeps getting better. Jack recently received an email that contained this info:

Dear Jack,

As one of the largest publishers of poetry in the world, we have created new and exciting merchandise for every poet to use and enjoy throughout the year. Many of our products come with the Poetry.com logo so you can proudly display your affiliation with the International Library of Poetry, and we believe our products have been made with the highest quality and craftsmanship. Since we are so confident you will enjoy our merchandise, we wanted to give you one last opportunity to purchase some of our unique products that are available at a discounted price.

The beautiful, burgundy 8 1/2 x 10 1/2 Limited Edition 2006 Poetry Desk Diary has been exclusively created for our poets from all around the world. The meticulous design and unprecedented detail is highlighted throughout, and the official logo of The International Library of Poetry is prominently displayed on the front cover in 24-karat gold embossing. The Limited Edition 2006 Poetry Desk Diary has an elegant, durable cover with protective gold corners, which makes this desk diary stylish, sophisticated, and functional. The inside has gilded pages throughout, with a weekly date grid that prominently displays both traditional and international holidays. There are two elegant satin ribbons so you can bookmark important dates and reminders. The desk diary provides an abundance of reference pages, including international maps, expense report tables, address and phone grids, metric tables, world time tables, and much more. If you wish to receive your Limited Edition 2006 Poetry Desk Diary (just $19.95 for the non-personalized edition and $5.00 extra for personalization, plus shipping and handling) simply click here.

The International Library of Poetry Pen is one of the most important tools for every poet and compliments the Limited Edition 2006 Poetry Desk Diary. This classically designed, solid brass pen has an elegantly polished black barrel, and a highly detailed silver chrome cap that features bright gold intrinsic accents. On the cap, you will find the official logo of The International Library of Poetry laser-engraved, and the pen comes with a black ink refill. This smooth, tapered writing instrument is pleasing to the eye from every angle, and it comes in a stylish black box with The International Library of Poetry logo imprinted in gold stamped foil. This well-designed pen writes smoothly, and it is a striking presentation piece for all to see and admire. To order The International Library of Poetry Pen, just $20.50, plus shipping and handling, simply click here.

And for a special, unique gift for yourself, another avid poet, or a collector, The International Poets Collectors Society has created an exclusive 1940s framed Collectors' Edition of the United States Postal Service Famous American Series Poets Set to commemorate some of our country's greatest writers. Such a prestigious collectors' piece is a must-have for any poet or stamp collector. The meticulous design and unprecedented detail of this unique item is clearly evident, and the International Poets Collectors Society's official logo is prominently displayed at the top of this gorgeous presentation piece.

The framed set includes the five United States commemorative postage stamps of Henry Wadsworth Longfellow, James Russell Lowell, James Whitcomb Riley, John Greenleaf Whittier, and Walt Whitman in mint condition. Each stamp displays the poet in an inner and outer Georgian designed frame, and their name is elegantly printed on the stamp along with the original United States postage. The stamps are encased in a protective mount, attached to fine elegant parchment paper featuring biographical information for each poet, and enclosed in a classic maple wood frame. Each collectors' piece comes with its own numbered Certificate of Authenticity attesting to its Limited Edition status. While supplies last, this unique framed set is only $19.95, plus shipping and handling. Click here to order.

Everyone at the International Library of Poetry is excited to bring these special offers to you, and we believe that you will enjoy any of these products. To take advantage of the discounted prices listed above, click here to order. We are so certain about our merchandise that we are offering a 100% money-back guarantee. If you are not delighted with these products, simply return it to us within 90 days and your money will be promptly refunded.

We look forward to receiving your order. Have a safe and happy new year!

Sincerely,

Howard Ely
Managing Editor
The International Library of Poetry

To take advantage of this special offer, click here or go to
https://www.poetry.com/poetrybuy/PoetryDisc.asp?VIP=P7462722&SC=V120

Let's see, which does an elderly dog need least—an over-priced desk calendar, pen, or framed stamps? Sheesh! Do people really fall for this? If they do, why have other scam companies (like Publish America) not started a line of over-priced "new and exciting merchandise"?

KTC · Dec 21, 2006

Can somebody answer me a question on this one? What is Poetry.com's latest MO? I thought you could submit a poem and they publish it in a coffee table book that you rush to buy for approx. $50? I don't see anything like that at the site. It seems all about free to enter contests now and paying an incredible sum to have them print your book? I'm trying to discover their latest angle, and I can't seem to be able to? Have they done away with the submit a poem and have it published in an anthology scheme?

TeddyG · Dec 21, 2006

Here you go Kevin:

Gee Mom...Guess What? I Am Going To Be Famous!

KTC · Dec 21, 2006

Thanks Much, Teddy. I will have a looksy. I guess they have to change with the times, just like everybody else, eh?

DeadlyAccurate · Jan 26, 2007

<sniff> I'm so happy! My poem, Ode To A Cat, has just been accepted for publication by poetry.com. I feel like such a real writer now. And they must truly think I'm talented, because there's NO OBLIGATION WHATSOEVER to buy the book, Immortal Verses. And, it's been automatically advanced to the final competition.

Anyone know if I need to sign and return the Artist's Proof in order to fulfill the requirements for the Wergle Flomp contest? I didn't see anything in the rules, but I wanted to be sure. Also, if I posted it here, would that disqualify me from WF? I want everyone to share in my obvious poetic genius. After all, this is probably the first poem I've ever written in my life, but I have true talent. Poetry.com said so.

PVish · Jan 26, 2007

DeadlyAccurate said:
<sniff> I'm so happy! My poem, Ode To A Cat, has just been accepted for publication by poetry.com. I feel like such a real writer now. And they must truly think I'm talented, because there's NO OBLIGATION WHATSOEVER to buy the book, Immortal Verses. And, it's been automatically advanced to the final competition.

Anyone know if I need to sign and return the Artist's Proof in order to fulfill the requirements for the Wergle Flomp contest? I didn't see anything in the rules, but I wanted to be sure. Also, if I posted it here, would that disqualify me from WF? I want everyone to share in my obvious poetic genius. After all, this is probably the first poem I've ever written in my life, but I have true talent. Poetry.com said so.

My dog initialed his proof just to make things official, but it didn't submit it to Wergle Flump. It's still on the poetry.com site, though. However, if you ever decide to submit a collection of, ahem, poetry to PA so it can "get the recognition it deserves," PA will inform you that nothing "previously published" (not even on the Internet) can be included in your PA book and you'll have to "replace it with other material."

Let me congratulate you on becoming a semi-finalist at Poetry.com. They haven't told you yet?! Don't worry, they will. Odds are good your poem will be an Editor's Choice, too.

DeadlyAccurate · Jan 26, 2007

A full collection of poetry? Bite your tongue! It probably took me ten full minutes to expel Ode To A Cat. I couldn't possibly handle an entire collection of it.

I'm too lazy to send in the proof. The $0.39 stamp could be put to better use, too, like mailing empty candy wrappers to credit card companies.

Here's Ode To A Cat in all its glory. I expect to be named US Poet Laureate any day now.

Ode To A Cat

A cat's heart
Is in her chest
Where it belongs

Her tail is on her butt
Swishing, flicking
Never still

And what about her fur?
It covers her entire body
Her skin does, too

'Cause otherwise that
Would be yucky

PVish · Jan 26, 2007

DeadlyAccurate said:
A full collection of poetry? Bite your tongue! It probably took me ten full minutes to expel Ode To A Cat. I couldn't possibly handle an entire collection of it.

Your poem touched my heart, moved my bowels, and caused my liver to quiver. It is (Really!) much better than the average poem on poetry.com.

I'm not quite ready to divulge the secret behind my dog's opus yet, but he did know some short cuts. You could get a full collection of mammalian poetry quickly by plagiarizing your cat poem and substituting other mammal species for cat. To wit:

Ode To A Wombat

A wombat's heart
Is in her chest
Where it belongs

Her tail is on her butt
Swishing, flicking
Never still

And what about her fur?
It covers her entire body
Her skin does, too

'Cause otherwise that
Would be yucky

See how easy that was? In no time at all, you could have a whole collection of poems to send off to a certain publisher to get the treatment they deserve and/or to bombard poetry.com. Or both.

DeadlyAccurate · Jan 26, 2007

Your dog is a genius. No wonder he was a semi-finalist in the competition.

Gravity · Jan 26, 2007

"Here's to the breezes
that blows through the trees-es.
Sends little girls' dresses
Up over their knees-es.
Catches social
Disease-es."

William Snakespit
Ode to Spring

I found a whole collection of these last week in a garage sale. I'm pretty sure this William guy is dead. If I sent them to poetry.com, think they'd nail me for plaag...plaigersi...plasigsteri...stealing them?

Signed:
Needy in Cincinnati

ebrillblaiddes · Apr 15, 2007

Does anyone know if Poetry.com monitors this place? I submitted a sting poem to them today and I'd like to share but I don't want to jeopardize my chance to get an acceptance letter for this thing.

James D. Macdonald · Apr 15, 2007

Who knows what they do?

What will it hurt you to wait a week for your acceptance before posting it?

ebrillblaiddes · Apr 15, 2007

James D. Macdonald said:
Who knows what they do?

What will it hurt you to wait a week for your acceptance before posting it?

You're right, of course...I'm just impatient :tongue

Poetry.com / International Library of Poetry / Watermark Press

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