Just stopped by...
...and couldn't resist a post. This is how addictions start.
Despite being conversant in IT, I still haven't figured out how to use the forums properly. In other words, I haven't figured out how to paraphrase correctly. I *could* learn, but the dinner is burning and the cat is fighting outside. So, I'll try and round-up what answers I can and answer in turn. Old-tech, but then you already know I'm a neo-luddite, right?
Okay, starting from the top:
Read some other threads and ensure you're not swimming with sharks: good advice, and I may do. However, I'm not to bad on detecting horse sh*te when it's being shovelled and I tend to think: "if they're going to screw me, I'll know it". That said, if I bother trying to sell my stuff like I did before, I'll do my homework. Promise.
250,000 words and the first time novelist:
Sure, but a good book is a good book, right? It shouldn't matter if it's 250,000 words or 25,000....
Sadly, that's how I *used* to think until I found about the horrible (and deadly boring) world of accountancy (apologies to anyone crafted in that particular...(black?) "art", btw). Thankfully, a wee bit of sense managed to penetrate my early years of writing and I shaved the first book down to 170,000 words. Still it seems sad that a book that *is* 250,000 words has to be considered more unsaleable than a mere 120,000 worder. A good thing there weren't any publishers around when the bible was written, then...(and thanks for the compliment Lloyd - much appreciated).
Birds of a feather flock together...:
I'm not mingling with other writers, nor, to be honest, do I feel like I....should. This sounds egotistical, and that's the last way it's meant to be portrayed. Instead, I think it's closely linked to how my siblings and I were brought up: "Do it on your own, or don't do it at all". I like listening to other people and I love helping others. It's partly what makes me tick. But help...*me*? I don't know. I really don't. It almost seems like...well,
cheating. (I know this sounds highly illogical, but I can't find any other way to put it. It's almost like there's a reset button being pushed whenever I think of the idea. I think, if I'm honest, that when you're the son of immigrant, working-class parents, it's almost programmed into you: no-one owes you anything, sunshine. So get out there and do it yourself). Lastly, on this subject: where I live today, literary culture takes a large backseat to sport. Yeah, I know. It's
awful.
Try online crit groups...if you've got the bollix for it:
Thanks, JerseyGirl. I almost feel stupid on some of these answers. It would never occur to try them. I still find it hard to believe that total strangers would actually act neutrally about one of my efforts and not tear it to shreds like it probably deserves. But I'll have a look. Promise.
Use the shotgun approach when it comes to mailing your stuff to agents:
If I ever send my first two - and any other books I write - out for publishing, I will. I obviously received some bad advice years ago (waaaay back in '98 from a British agent that specialised in non-fiction, bizarrely enough): "don't send your book to more than one agent at a time. It's poor manners." I think I took this to heart at the time and sadly, there wasn't really a Net as full of information about cracking it as a writer as there obviously is now. Just empty, rain sodden streets of London and the warm, exotic receptions of the big publishing houses that one was never invited into to. However, again, good advice. Cheers!
You sound like my other half...:
Gawd. Poor you.
Take your time, learn the ropes, don't throw yer money away...:
Again, good advice. However, you know what? I like writing *books*. No disrespect meant, but it seems to be an awfully sh*tty time when to even get recognised for what you've written, you've got to become a:
- Salesman (or "Salesperson" if you prefer non-gender specific references)
- Editor (who's going to buy your book if it isn't at least coherent?)
- Webmaster (yeah, I know - get someone else to build it. But people do that and their site invariably ends up looking like something Pablo Picasso would whip up on LSD; i.e. something ugly. With web design, unless you pay someone decent, you don't get the results).
- PR ('nuff said)
Earn enough of those badges and you start to move away from writing. In fact, earn enough of those trades and yeah, suddenly you'll be more marketable at your day job (look at me, I'm an unqualified consultant!), but your writing will suffer. Why? Because you'll have become a market trader, not a writer. I know there's little I can do about this situation, but I just find it a miserable place for writers today to find themselves in. "Being able to write ain't enough, pal; you'd better get with the program and figure out how to sell that baby or you'll spend the rest of your life living in a tenement block! Mwahaha!". A sad situation, folks.
Contact the agent first, bugsy, goddit?:
...and I did. And they asked for the full manuscript. And then I had fun receiving it back with stamp hinges intact. I had even more fun burning the rejection letter, though.
Agents - real or otherwise- multiply when you add money AND if you pay an agent, why should they work any harder?:
Yes, I agree: if agents started charging again, they'd multiply like fleas. Every Tom, Dick or Harry would be jumping on the bandwagon; it'd be the new real estate boom. However, I still have my position, as untenable as it may appear:
if a professional agent charged me a reading fee for a fast and professional acceptance or rejection, I would pay it.
I would, too. If I could have back in '98, I definitely would have. It might have made me stop grinding my teeth at having to become a corporate prostitute in the wonderful world of IT. Sure, I might have been slightly poorer, but at least I would have *known*. As it was, I got a response from the first agent I sent my book to (but they didn't read the book), the second agent went a whole lot further but ended up not biting (or should I say "not bonding"), and the third agent I sent my second book to was as communicative as the Sphinx (in other words, I never got a response).
As for whether or not an agent would have any reason to work hard after they take your reading fee, of course they would. Anyone who cared about their craft, would. Apart from the financial incentive to work harder for extra commission, there would also be the professional pride in helping a writer to become a master of their craft. And that, my friends, is what we *really* play for. Plasma televisions and bigger cars have their allure, but nothing is as attractive as accomplishment. The same rule applies for a teacher watching a pupil accomplish their first sums as it does to a writer finishing the last sentence of a great book.
I suppose my final position would be this: you pay a plumber or a tradesman (tradesperson) to come out to to your home when you have a problem. Even if they find that yes, your cistern *is* perfectly functional, Mr 1.0, they'll still charge you a call-out fee. Like a plumber or a sparky, agents have to rent premises, too. They also have utility bills to pay, as well as heating and telephone bills. Of course there's a few thousand shysters out there willing to take coin for doing nothing. But there's always going to be those types of individuals. Always have and always will. So, if we take the tradesperson analogy, why should writing be any different (and if you're thinking that I'm equating writing with shovelling faeces, then...lol. Yeah. I'm not *really*)?
Again, apologies for the long diatribe. A fascinating subject and I look forward to defending my position a little more
concisely next time.
Slan go foill,
1.0