-To all you negative-minded aspiring writers out there with your petty tales of woe and rejection, let me tell you what you might be lacking.
I've written one book, well summary, lately, sent it off to one publisher and immediately received a rave review. One for one!
One publisher, one submission one favourable reply, and a proper letter at that. None of your e-mail rubbish. Within a week! One week! Just confirms that I've got what you don't.
Talent-TALENT. T-A-L-E-N-T.
Don't want to rub it in but let me read some extracts from the relevant letter, which I've just had framed at a cost of $300-I've ordered twenty copies for the relatives, like. Peanuts when the royalties start coming in.

Anyway, the letter;
Re- Tales of the Banal
Further to our previous correspondence, you will be pleased to know that our board of editors-(BOARD- if you don't mind)-have reported back favourably regarding your initial submission Therefore they now wish to view your complete manuscript in its final form.
We look forward to reading your complete manuscript.


Austin McAuley sure know how to pick a winner.

I'm already started on my second magnum opus, an autobiography –Oneforoneonerforoneoneforone..
It’s right, I’ve checked.

I'm liking Di Caprio for the film, if he can get a bit fitter, like. I'll probably just have a wee walk-on part, like, Hitchcock-like, or Tarantino-like,like.