Favorite lines you've written

"Even now they slept, sleeping giants whose slumber hung like an ominous fog, promising terrible power when finally awake."

Jack Judah said:

"Danglies in a do rag" Love this. Great voice.

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Thanks so much!

I changed the "Jolly Green Giant" to a jolly purple giant.It doesn't have the same ring, but Green Giant is trademarked. I know we writers use brand names, but I don't know how Green Giant would take my giving their big guy danglies, much less tying them up in a do rag.

Jolly off green giant?

Beanie5 said:

Jolly off green giant?

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No.

Cindyt said:

I changed the "Jolly Green Giant" to a jolly purple giant.It doesn't have the same ring, but Green Giant is trademarked. I know we writers use brand names, but I don't know how Green Giant would take my giving their big guy danglies, much less tying them up in a do rag.

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I hope my peas comment didn't have anything to do with this change. Me and my big mouth. Purple works, but Green had the added benefit of immediate familiarity. Maybe the Green Giant folks would be happy for the free publicity, danglies or no?

[One of my Card-Carrying Villain protagonists is being asked if it's possible that she only identifies as The Bad Guy as a defensive mechanism: if it's possible that deep down, she's not actually comfortable with all of the people that she's hurt and killed, and that she's just compensating by trying to trick herself into thinking that she's more comfortable than she really is.]

"You know, there's a word for the good guy who feels bad about bad things happening, but who wishes she was the bad guy so that she wouldn't have to feel so bad about it."

"Really? What's that?"

"The bad guy."

It was as if the trees had eyes instead of leaves.

Simpson17866 said:

[One of my Card-Carrying Villain protagonists is being asked if it's possible that she only identifies as The Bad Guy as a defensive mechanism: if it's possible that deep down, she's not actually comfortable with all of the people that she's hurt and killed, and that she's just compensating by trying to trick herself into thinking that she's more comfortable than she really is.]

"You know, there's a word for the good guy who feels bad about bad things happening, but who wishes she was the bad guy so that she wouldn't have to feel so bad about it."

"Really? What's that?"

"The bad guy."

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Haha, I love this! The sassy response does a lot. I only have these few things to go off of, but if this is a good taste of her attitude, I already like her lmao

sockycat said:

Haha, I love this! The sassy response does a lot. I only have these few things to go off of, but if this is a good taste of her attitude, I already like her lmao

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Thanks! For almost all of my writing process so far, I've planned on her being unconscious for most of my first book, but a few months in I came up with a group backstory that revolved entirely around her, and now I'm finding out that she's going to be my favorite protagonist once I get to my intended sequels.

From my to-be-published sci-fi novel, The Gnosis Machine:

"They laughed together for a long while, two strangers alone at the edge of the world."

The following is my play on the fates, including a fourth, Karma.


The four sisters Moirdat, ugly, old, and fat, sat in a row on
their black cloud, dispensing life and karma, destiny and death, a
stitch, a measure, a reap,a snick.

Clotho sat on the end, stitching the fate
of mortal men and monster alike.

And with the monster’s eyes slit-stitched began the tragedy.

Lachesis sat in the middle, measuring lifespan threads by willy-nilly fickle-drawn lots.

Atropos sat on the other end, with her ruby-red pointy talion flicking over ten thousand
ways to destroy man and monster alike, eenie meenie miney mo, fang of snake, shard of glass, pointy long thing.

Karma perched on her own cloud before her sisters three,
Between her knees was a cauldron steaming with deeds,
and with a flick of a claw the good and the bad reaped what they sewed.

— Cindy Wiggins Tapia, Dress Her in Chameleon, Moirdat 3.1-5

Aelfinn tells his brother, who is recovering from poisoning, about the plans for a religious pilgrimage.

***

“Where will we go first?” he asks, bouncing on his bed in excitement.

“We’ll be making a circle, more or less.” I show him the map I’ve drawn. “First, we’ll go northeast to the Sky Temple. Then, we start to work our way west. We’ll stop at the shrine of Bledi, the Harvest Goddess.”

"Lots of good stuff to eat there, I bet,” Wulfsethen says with a bounce.

"Your stomach is obviously back in order. Then north again for the shrine of Dynge, the Storm God, near the mountains. Then, southwest for Aledd, the Fire God. West again, for the shrine of Burwitha, Goddess of Victory."

“That’s a good place for us warriors to go.” He gives another bound of enthusiasm.

“Then to the Serpent Shrine of the Goddess Naedre, and then home before the snows set in. About two months total.” And with luck we’ll get back to find that Gaeda and Egil have figured out who’s trying to kill us.

Wulfsethen stops bouncing. “Serpent Shrine?” he says, his eyes large. “Why do we have a shrine for snakes?”

“No idea.” I don’t know much about Naedre. She doesn’t seem to figure prominently in any of the legends I’ve heard. “Maybe she’s for getting rid of snakes?” That would be a sensible sort of deity. Oddly specific, though.

Cindyt said:

The following is my play on the fates, including a fourth, Karma.

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I love the way you use words. This was fun to read.

Twick said:

Aelfinn tells his brother, who is recovering from poisoning, about the plans for a religious pilgrimage.

***

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I always find the pieces you post so engaging.

From the POV of a woman wearing an underbust corset:

My stomach is a quarrel of sparrows in a steel-boned cage.

StoryofWoe said:

From the POV of a woman wearing an underbust corset:

My stomach is a quarrel of sparrows in a steel-boned cage.

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I absolutely LOVE this line - really vivid images and excellent emotion!

StoryofWoe said:

From the POV of a woman wearing an underbust corset:

My stomach is a quarrel of sparrows in a steel-boned cage.

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Vivid!

BethS said:

I love the way you use words. This was fun to read.


.

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Thanks! It was fun to write.

J.S.Fairey said:

It was something in his eyes. A softness that entered them when only she was around, the difference between mud and soil, soft and fine and receptive. She could plant flowers in those eyes, that mind, and watch them bloom. He could be so good, she knew that. He could be so beautiful.

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I like this excerpt a lot, and I'd love to read more. I know some people aren't a fan of this kind of writing, but I love deep descriptions like this. I will say that "that mind" was kind of confusing and should perhaps be reworked for more clarity since the focus seemed to be his eyes (although I do understand why his mind was mentioned).

Anyway, great work!

Twick said:

“Maybe she’s for getting rid of snakes?” That would be a sensible sort of deity. Oddly specific, though.

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two very brief excerpts

favorite lines of mine from Eschillion Key :

FFFfff-fff-ffffffff….f.f..f.fff.f.f.f.fffff------FFF
"`Tis mine task to slay thee!" shouts gleeful Kid Crystal Carrier to the party of three merrily
making their pleasant time through the void of much formidable digihabit forminting (Fur, form, fear, tears,
dripdripdrip) danger.

(further excerpt,
briefly thereafter):

-Not I! shouts the wonderose miplankticking pyrabid.
SSsssssssssSSSSsssssssSSSsssSssSs
Shake, "He says shake well before she operates," onstich blisted kid Kite Flier.
Too much, "Sprinkle a little dust ontop," insists insistently bottom-feeding.
Onto, "Into pieces it goes," notes noticeably a consistent watchman of the affair.

Soon Grenth’s match began and Jason shouted to him.
“Go get her Grenth. You can do it.”
Grenth stared at him for a moment, shrugged and then nodded. Milliandra stared at Jason in confusion.
“Why are you encouraging him? He’s a freld.”
“Be nice to the idiot’s, sometime in the future you might just need cannon fodder.” He said and then turning to her, winked.

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I highlighted my favorite line here. It's from my newest project. (Freld is in her language and basicly = ass)

Amy has just found out that magic is real and that her personality lends itself perfectly to manipulating metal:

"So, like, if I ever wake up one morning and think to myself, 'I do not have a war hammer, this is not a good start to my day,' you're saying that I'd be able to fix this?"

J.S.Fairey said:

It was something in his eyes. A softness that entered them when only she was around, the difference between mud and soil, soft and fine and receptive. She could plant flowers in those eyes, that mind, and watch them bloom. He could be so good, she knew that. He could be so beautiful.

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That is so striking and lovely and just all kinds of wonderful. I love it.

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Simpson17866 said:

Amy has just found out that magic is real and that her personality lends itself perfectly to manipulating metal:

"So, like, if I ever wake up one morning and think to myself, 'I do not have a war hammer, this is not a good start to my day,' you're saying that I'd be able to fix this?"

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Heh heh. That is a great line.