Favorite lines you've written

Joscco said:

On his way down to the Verde, he'd glance in his rearview mirror at the Ponderosa pines covering the slopes of the highest mountains in Arizona before winding his way down the Mogollon Rim escarpment and passing through the sculpted, red rock outcrops around Sedona. It was spectacular country. Years later, when seeing the landscape in film and on television, he literally ached knowing he could never go back to undo some of the mistakes made when living there.

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This is very nice.

testing testing

My narrator and my main character are about to meet with a loan shark who's been threatening them:


Further along, when my narrator, my main character, and a couple of others need to get somewhere, and my narrator wants to steal from the loan shark from earlier:

"As Thomas Paine said, 'You can't thread a moving needle.'"

What I had encountered was not of this world. Hypnosis was really on me, a human of this world, to pull the memory back. Maybe I needed someone who worked beyond our world to pull this in. Which is what brought me to the psychic medium.
And of course, I brought my ginger, Pepper.
Yes, Pepper, the ginger.
My best friend, red haired, freckled, soulless ginger. Pepper.

“Pain never leaves the world, Harry. It may be blunted by time, and one person may share it with another, but when something has been done, it can never be undone. When you have committed a sin, or a sin has been committed against you, the pain of that sin will remain forever, a scar on your heart just as real and just ugly as a scar on your face.”

He stepped back to the edge of the road to let the truck pass. Two burly men rode together in the cab. Painted on the van's side in bright-red letters were the words, "Classic Piano Restoration & Sales." The car following behind carried four men dressed in blue coveralls. The re-sellers had come to collect Phoenix's grand piano.

Carl recalled when she performed her music for him while dressed in her black-beaded gown. He thought of her and the Steinway as a perfectly matched pair. An artist and an instrument made complete by the glorious music that arose from them both. Now that brilliant relationship would end. He couldn't escape the irony to think silence was the sound of shattered dreams.

KCT said:

He thought of her and the Steinway as a perfectly matched pair.

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Lovely.

BethS said:

Some really good writing here. I love getting these glimpses into everyone's work. Keep 'em coming!

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Ditto, BethS.

kkbe, just read your daily sigline. You always make me worry for the kids.

Some background may or may not help - MC (Richard) is in the middle of a disciplinary hearing concerning actions he took in response to the bombing of a hospital from orbit - his response was to locate the capital ship that did the bombing and smash it into the small planetoid where Deri Spectra, the man who planned said bombing, had his secret facility. The resulting explosion tore the planetoid apart.

[N]oticing her untouched coffee mug, she drained it. "If you knew where Deri Spectra was, why didn't you capture him for interrogation?"
"I doubt I was thinking that far ahead at the time," said Richard flatly.
"You mock me?"
"If answering a question honestly is interpreted as mocking you, how do you expect me to answer any more of your questions?"
"Continue to bait me and you will find you've hooked a much bigger fish than you were looking for."
"I’ve brought a very expensive fishing pole."

"You know, you're pretty. funny."

"It's funny that I'm pretty?" I asked.

"No. Sorry, that was a typo. I meant: you're funny."

"Not pretty?"

Guy laughed. "Sure. You're both funny and pretty."

"Thanks for the compliments, which I fully enjoyed, even considering I wrote your lines. Is there anything else I can make you say or do?"

He shrugged. "Anything you like. It's your story."

BethS said:

kkbe, just read your daily sigline. You always make me worry for the kids.

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eek.

There are no monsters here, only men.

-What's probably going into the start of my toku novel

This will probably come off as overdone cliche drivel, but I wrote this one yesterday and it's been sticking out in my mind: "However, the heart is a powerful thing. When it cries, the body has no choice but to listen."

Harlequin said:

Perhaps giving up, much like growing older, was not something which happened overnight. Instead, both had happened in little bits and pieces, a day at a time; they must have been giving up for years, Nefrál thought, and so had not realized it when the dream of running away had finally died. She herself had hardly noticed its passing, but then it had never been her dream in the first place.

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I like that. It has resonance.

NoirSuede said:

There are no monsters here, only men.

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There's something about it that grabs me. It seems to be saying a lot more than it's saying. I think it makes a great opening line.

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Brandinian said:

This will probably come off as overdone cliche drivel, but I wrote this one yesterday and it's been sticking out in my mind: "However, the heart is a powerful thing. When it cries, the body has no choice but to listen."

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I don't think it's drivel. In context, it could be quite powerful.

Two from yesterday.

1. The distillation of their dreams found form and language in the blood pyramid’s materiality, its stepped faces reverberating with the synaptic connections of the dying civilization’s memories and long-forgotten hopes

2. Last moments of gossamer lives diffused through the calligraphy of the red earth’s clay as it churned into unknowable madness by footstep on top of footstep, the mark left by a child soon encompassed and erased by that of his father, before even this ephemeral testament to their existence was swept away

Infinitude said:

Two from yesterday.

1. The distillation of their dreams found form and language in the blood pyramid’s materiality, its stepped faces reverberating with the synaptic connections of the dying civilization’s memories and long-forgotten hopes

2. Last moments of gossamer lives diffused through the calligraphy of the red earth’s clay as it churned into unknowable madness by footstep on top of footstep, the mark left by a child soon encompassed and erased by that of his father, before even this ephermeral testament to their existence was swept away

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Beautiful. I must admit I like #1 more though, but maybe that's because I've had the opportunity to wander about ancient ruins.

From my WIP.

On the side-effects of that little blue pill: "Yeah, well if I have an erection lasting more than four hours then she's the one who's going to need to seek medical attention."

BethS said:

There's something about it that grabs me. It seems to be saying a lot more than it's saying. I think it makes a great opening line.

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thanks!

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BethS said:

There's something about it that grabs me. It seems to be saying a lot more than it's saying. I think it makes a great opening line.

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thanks!

(18th Century)

“The babe was yours! Yours!”
“That’s a lie! We weren’t together but once!”

TrishD said:

Nick was indestructible. I was pretty sure if the Earth was decimated by a nuclear holocaust, the only things that would survive would be cockroaches, Twinkies and Nick Murphy.

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I like that one

Brave Sir Robin said:

From my WIP.

On the side-effects of that little blue pill: "Yeah, well if I have an erection lasting more than four hours then she's the one who's going to need to seek medical attention."

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Ha, that's great. Every time I see that commercial I think the same thing. ...seek medical attention, for your wife!